schizo Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I've been dating my boyfriend for almost three years now. When we first started dating, he was very fit. Muscles on his arms and legs, and even a nice set of abs. But for awhile now...his image has been slipping. To put it bluntly...he is getting fat. Now I don't want to sound superficial...I will of course love him no matter what he looks like, but I am human, and my sexual attraction to him is lessening because of this. Also, it can be embarrassing at times. When we visit friends or family that we haven't seen for awhile, sometimes they will say things like, "Wow! I barely even recognized you! You've put on some weight!" And other friends will tease him about it every once in awhile. Sometimes he will even look in the mirror and complain that he's fat. So...obviously he's not in denial that he's out of shape. But for some reason he wont do anything about it. He's just not motivated I guess. I try to nudge him in the right direction by trying to get him to go running and bike riding with me, but more often than not he'd rather do something less active. We even got a gym membership, but he wont do that regularly either. I try to say things like, "If we're going to pay for this, then we should use it." But that doesn't help. I've also tried to start cooking more so I can make healthy food instead of going out to eat...but he's always buying chips and energy drinks and eating way too much of those. I don't know what to do. He'd not too overweight right now, but if he keeps up this lifestyle, it is going to get worse and affect his health some day. And the longer it goes on, the harder it will be for him to change, I think. I'll also admit that I feel a little resentful because we both started gaining weight at the same time when we moved in together...I guess the "freshmen fifteen" hit or something. But I started watching my calories and exercising and now I look pretty good if I do say so myself. My motivation was that I wanted to look good for him. So...why doesn't he want to do the same for me? I want to help him out but is there anyway I can do this without telling him that I think he's....fat? Link to comment
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