I have a Questions for you married/ready to get married long timers!

[wreckem10]

The person you are now married/engaged to, did you at one point break off the relationship and then go back realizing your mistake?

 

Im just wondering because my girlfriend and i had a great relationsip and we hit a rough patch and she broke it off and then realized her mistake and now says she is in more love with me now than ever before. I still love her and trust her but i was just wondering if any others out there had to split up and realized that the person you left was your soulmate?

 

btw, from personal experience my parents told me that my mother had given back the engagement ring to my father and actually DATED someone else and then after she realized what she had she went running back to my father. He told me he wasnt sure it was going to work out, but trusted in her, and ever since they have been married for 20 years or so and are really happy.

 

Just a question to see if its ok the relationship isnt "perfect" anymore.

[lady00]

Well, I am not engaged but I have a friend who went through something similar. She broke things off with her bf for various legitimate reasons a few years ago. They both grew up a lot, resolved the issues that drove them apart, and came back together and are getting married. I have heard of this happening to other people too so I'd say it's not all that uncommon for people to take long breaks and then get back together and get married. Often times, the relationship got stronger.

[theforgotten]

this thread makes me feel a little better. Thanks.

And I hope the best for all of us.

I was engaged to my ex, I left her and now she doesn't want me back right now.

I guess if its meant to be it will happen right?

[wreckem10]

i would say there is a chance especially if you two were engaged. That means she loved you enough to say she was ready to commit to you for the rest of her life. At the same time i would say that since you broke it off that you have to prove to her that it wont happen again and make sure she knows she can trust you.

 

For me and my girlfriend we broke it off and didnt talk for two weeks, then got back together. In that time I had actually started dating again and so did my "ex", just to rebound and get myself over her. She said that it felt weird not being with me and that she realized her mistake and took me for granted. Even though it was a short break up, we both tried to move on and couldnt. I dont want to think about her and that other guy so i just think of her and me getting back together and remembering the good times we had and how we first met, happy thoughts. That was four months ago and i am glad to say im happy with her again just as i was from the start. She said that she has only grown to love me more than when she first met me and I think our small breakup was perfect for us because we know that we cant move on without eachother. When we came back we were both honest about dating other people and forgave eachother because it was a mistake and that EVERYONE makes mistakes.

 

I just want to know if anyone else has a story that they can share?

 

Something to make me feel better because her and I have discussed marriage and what not after we graduate from college and are financially ready to be married.

[tangi39]

Better to happen before you get married.

And actually, a Much wiser choice to make sure you do want to get married, then get married with doubts and cheat on your spouse.

 

I have a good friend who was unsure about marrying her husband, not because of anything he did or her being interested in anyone else-

But because they had been fighting a lot, so they took a trial separation to figure things out, decided they were right for each other, they worked on their issues and got married.

They have been for over 15 years.

 

I think it's natural to have doubts to an extent, but if you are having major doubts, I believe it's a more mature choice to step aside and make sure it is what you really want. Understanding of course that the other person may or may not be willing to wait.

But I have actually seen this scenario quite a bit.

It can work out if both people are willing.

[Hope75]

My guy and I have been together for almost 6 years, living together for over 5, and are getting married in 9 weeks (!). We did break up (his initiation) at 2 years into the relationship, for about 6 weeks and then started 'dating' each other again and realized after a few months that we both wanted each other and nothing else would do. During our time apart, we did not date other people.

 

I think as hard as that was for us to go through, it made our relationship stronger, since we are now devoted to working things out even when times get rough. I would not change the course of the relationship because I feel that what we have now, the foundation for a strong and lasting marriage, came from facing adversity and coming through it together in the end.

 

It doesn't work that way for everyone, but it did for us, and I have no doubt or question about the depth of my fiance's love and commitment to me.

[Alezia]

Well since I don't know your situation, I don't know. My boyfriend and I did break-up and we are now happy together. I think the reasons behind the break-up will influence the outcome greatly.

[darklinglena]

My fiance and I are doing something similar right now. We've been together 4 years 2 being LDR. Supposed to been married this October but for the past few months we've been fighting and I decided to take the bullet and say lets postpone everything until we sort out our relationship. Not sure how anyone will react cos I have been putting off telling them >.

[NowandZen]

Short answer is yes. Broke up for over a year. Now have been married almost 21. Keep in mind that your relationship was NEVER perfect. That would have required two people to be perfect and perfectly meshed.

 

Relationships need three things, IMO:

 

1) Rule of Care - be honestly caring about the other person's wants and needs, and want the relationship to work

 

2) Rule of Protection - whatever the stimulus of your SO's unhappiness, it shouldn't be you.

 

3) Rule of Time - If you are going to be in a relationship, give it the time it needs to develop and strengthen.

 

If you have these things, you chances are good, but of course there are no guarantees. If you don't have these things, one or both of you will always be staring at the exit door.