Update to I think I could die..getting back together

[lostnva]

So today he came here..well tonight...with a truck from his work and a friend. I assume he was going to take some stuff....however after talking to my therapist today and realizing how sick he is (read my post on the topic). At the advice of my therapist I told him he had one week to get help for his pot/beer addiction. Or I would call his ex and tell her how sick he is, and to protect the kids. I have thought about this before but didnt do it. Because I WORKED TO HARD TO GET HIM VISITATION. He did nothing ...I helped him lie and cheat his way through the court...(he convinced me that it wasnt a problem) and now with therapy I see clearly....he is very sick! I made him file all the motions, send all the emails, even told him what to say at his Drs appointments. So tonight when he came I told him ...1 week to get help, or I will let her know that he is truly sick! Its not about us anymore....we are done. I dont want to be with an addict....but I feel the responsibility to protect his children from his destructive behavior....what do yall think? I need advice now!

 

Also he owes me money for bills $600 in electric and comcast! I called the non er police and they said If he wants his stuff(he has only taken clothes) that he would have to take me to court because I own the house and he would be tresspassing and B&E if he comes here....any input? I want to give him his stuff...but I need the money he owes for the bills!

[Jetta]

Odds are you won't see the money. Needed or not. Can't comment on the rest, didn't read the entire story. Good luck.

[lostnva]

Odds are you won't see the money. Needed or not. Can't comment on the rest, didn't read the entire story. Good luck.

 

Thank you ...and I can make it without the money...its my heart that tells me he is not stable enough, to take care of those little girls....I worry about him and them....he is sick....and very depressed. I will not be held for those girls getting hurt...I am to good of a person!

[kuhl282000]

We all need the money ......don't put yourself at risk for $600 dollars. Just move on the best way you can. Its nice you want to protect the children and do the best you can but don't put yourself at risk. Pot addiction is serious business, I just broke up with the love of my life over it .....Add booze to the situation and then anger and mix a little resentment .......well now you have a time bomb and it could go off in your face. I moved out when mine was at a conference......it was the only way and I really did not even want to go but I knew I had to, I could not help her while I was living with her, she was not listening to me .......was she mad, you bet .......but it was better then being in her faces and screaming at one another. In a way POT had replaced me, it became #1 and I resented the crap out of it over a bag of stupid weed.......when they are on drugs they can and will do crazy things .......protect yourself .....and don't be worried about trying to get in the LAST WORD ........they have to figure out their part in all of this later on without you ......and that day may never come ....Drugs and Booze KILLS PEOPLE ..and destroys relationships .........remember one serious thing .......some of them are in DENIAL "BIGTIME" they think they do not have a problem ...they are so sick they think you are the one with the problem .....and they Wallo around in DENIAL for years ......mant many years for some .....and in the end they end up killing themselves with drugs and alcohol .........its sad ..........SO SAVE YOU>>>>>>>>> And still to this day, she never got it in the end. She ended up blaming and switching everything on me, I know the truth and what really happened and as much as I love her and want her. As long as she is on drugs, count me out. Drugs have no place and never will in my world, not today not tomorrow. I feel very sad for her because she is a very special person. But the drug changed her and she went to a place far far away....and now she has to find her own way back in time, and some don't.

 

She is in my prayers every night, I'm her biggest fan

[lostnva]

So its now been 7 weeks. You may have to read my other post. We have had very little contact. His stuff is still here. At the advise of my therapist I called his ex wife t let her know how serious his drinking/pot smoking and depression as become. I didnt want to be responsibile for something happening to his kids. I also thought he would have gotten some help. But n h choose this over us and his kids. He now hates me....and I am sad about that. He said he would never forgive me for telling her. Now I havent talked to her since then, and he hasnt talked to me about it. So I dont know if shes letting him see them or talking to her GAL, and lawyers or what. They go back to court in the next couple weeks....he only just got overnight visitaion a month ago, because I helped him get them buy helping him lie and cheat his way through court! He had me convinced it wasnt a problem....and now with therapy I see how sick he is. He hates me for this....but I dont care as long he gets help. Did I make a mistake by calling her? I just wanted him to get help!