Fitchik Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Just looking for insight from all of you. I've been reading and exploring the idea of "living in the moment". I'm often accused of planning my life right up until the day I die, and yes I even have my funeral pre-planned. I always have a plan of action for everything, and a plan B just in case...and then a Plan C, cause lets be honest...nothing really works out as orignally planned so there has to be another "plan"! ARGH! Exhausting...... So my question to all of you is this... how do you live in the moment? Let go of all of those nagging thoughts about what to cook for dinner, when to pay the bills, how to get everything done and then some. Peace! Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Good question! I am often told the same thing. I am either reliving the past or worrying about the future! I'm looking forward to some good answers! Link to comment
thejigsup Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I don't live in the moment, I'm a planner like you. People who live entirely in the moment never have a plan and don't accomplish much. That being said, people who never live in the moment miss a lot of life's beautiful moments. I think the best thing to do is have some balance between the two. I'm sure working on that. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Living in the moment has more to do with enjoying life, than lack of planning. As in, if you are having a meal or a conversation or taking a walk, you are focusing all your attention on that particular activity and not worrying about anything else. It is a very cognitive experience. There are exercises that you can do to help you. Meditation is one of them. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I think like jigsup said balance is everything. If you plan your future to much and it doesn't happen just like you planned it, then what? Do you get depressed or do you roll with the punches and have a good time? Having a general plan is a very good idea but to much details can ruin the moment as you put it. For example: Vacation that is planned down to every 10 minutes or a vacation where you know where your going and where your staying and a general idea of what you want to do when you get there but everything else is up in the air (what, when, where) kinda of thing. I think being afraid of something going wrong or not working out the way you wanted it can cause you to try and CONTROL your life to much by planning it. Throw caution to the wind and do the opposite! Don't plan anything and jump in the car and just drive and see where you end up. I need to work on this too and have given it some thought lately. lost Link to comment
Catdancer Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 PM me and I'll give you my ex's phone number. He can explain it all to you: it's all about not wanting responsibility and how to escape responsbility for him. Living in the moment means drinking at any time in the day..waking up at 8 am and having a shot of bourbon, doing drugs whenever and how any time he feels like it with no regard for how he gets home or how his partner (was me) feels, pushing people around him to drink more and do more drugs so that he can have someone to party with. Living in the moment is all about him and him becoming the rock star that he thinks he is. Sorry, didnt mean to rant...the whole living in the moment brought back some bad memories. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I agree that it is all about balance. It is important to plan ahead and to think of possible outcomes...but if you plan every single minute detail you will get so lost in details and plans that you will miss out on the journey. There is that saying about life not being about the destination but about the journey. There are so many variables in life that no matter how well you try to plan, there are outside forces that can rip apart your plans, even your plan A, B and C. People who overplan are constantly checking and re-checking their plans to make sure they are on track...in the end they become so obsessive about their plans that they don't enjoy the world around them. I am not sure how old you are...I certainly hope you are not in your twenties and pre-planning your funeral..because if you are, you have no idea where life is going to take you and if you will move away from where you live now. Link to comment
Jetta Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I've done it, when I had my breakdown all brain action pretty much stops. And it sucks. We are NOT meant to live in the moment. We are meant to plan and direct our futures. Link to comment
Haven Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I figured this out a couple of years ago. I went from worrying constantly and being anxious about everything to being almost completely anxiety free. I haven't felt that nervous butterflies-in-stomach feeling for a long time now, which is a huge change compared to my past everyday deal. I just tell myself that I'm capable and can deal with things as they come up. Of course I do have the larger things planned out. But I don't fully plan out dinner in advance (I have a general idea - at worst, I can drive to a grocery store and buy a frozen pizza or something). I've gone from hating change to liking change, and finding new experiences fun or exciting. Yes, even going to get a frozen pizza can be an interesting experience. That's my definition of "living in the moment" - being able to pay attention to whatever experience you are having. In the past I would have been angry at myself, thinking, "This is awful, I should have planned dinner better." But now I just see it as an opportunity to do something different from what I usually do... if that makes any sense. I see every moment as significant, regardless of whether I am taking out the garbage or doing laundry or whatever. Every moment is important and a part of who I am. That's living in the moment for me. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 That is exactly what I was talking about. It is not about being careless, it is about enjoying even the most mundane activities and taking them in. This is a very zen way of living, but in today's society people tend to worry about everything and do not get to enjoy the things they have every day. Living in the moment is not about doing drugs and seeking pleasure...It is about getting pleasure out of everything that you are doing....even if it is a chore. For example...I love doing dishes. It is a very relaxing experience for me. I take pleasure in it. Link to comment
Fitchik Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 All very insightful...and thought worthy. I am trying hard to just live one day at a time. That is start, as I'm usually planning everything weeks and months in advance. I admittedly get annoyed at people that can just 'go with the flow' so to speak...but I'm trying. That is all I can ask of myself. Link to comment
Iris-PJ Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Just looking for insight from all of you. I've been reading and exploring the idea of "living in the moment". I'm often accused of planning my life right up until the day I die, and yes I even have my funeral pre-planned. I always have a plan of action for everything, and a plan B just in case...and then a Plan C, cause lets be honest...nothing really works out as orignally planned so there has to be another "plan"! ARGH! Exhausting...... So my question to all of you is this... how do you live in the moment? Let go of all of those nagging thoughts about what to cook for dinner, when to pay the bills, how to get everything done and then some. Peace! People who live entirely in the moment never have a plan and don't accomplish much. That being said, people who never live in the moment miss a lot of life's beautiful moments. I think the best thing to do is have some balance between the two. Living in the moment has more to do with enjoying life, than lack of planning. As in, if you are having a meal or a conversation or taking a walk, you are focusing all your attention on that particular activity and not worrying about anything else. It is a very cognitive experience. There are exercises that you can do to help you. Meditation is one of them. I commend you on being so responsible! I for one am a little more on the let things happen spectrum. But I believe ycmanvs put it best about "living in the moment" it is about being present no matter what you are doing, with the people you are with and with yourself when you are alone. I think you even have a leg up because you have so much planned, you should have more free time! Finding balance is key as previously mentioned. Just take it one step at a time. When you are taking a walk, just look around, take in details, meditate, concentrate on how things around you feel (ie. air, sounds, sights), don't worry about what needs to be done, what needs to happen tomorrow, next week or even next year! ... remember "Life is what happens to you, when you are busy making other plans." -John Lennon... " ...experience, and reward and glory are meaningless unless you’re open and present with the people you share them with in the moment." -Patton Oswalt all the best, -pj Link to comment
Anthropic Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 There are some good responses so I'll take a different direction and say you should spin the question a little differently and ask why it is you feel the need to plan everything. With that in mind, I'm going to recommend reading "Stumbling on Happiness" by Daniel Gilbert. It's kind of a scientific analysis of why the decisions we make about the future usually fail to make us happy. I think it can offer some insight here. It's an accessible, pretty light read. The basic argument in the book is that your brain (the imagination specifically) fails you when trying to predict the future. This makes your decisions about what will make you happy in the future kind of flawed. I think it applies here because as you make your plans you are using your imagination to fill in the details of what you think might happen and how you will feel when it does happen. The book won't tell you why you feel like you need to plan everything or how to "live in the moment", but will give you insights into what goes on in the mind while planning for the future. I run with the anti-plan, fly by the seat of the pants crowd. I set general goals but I just leave getting to them as a minor detail. Interestingly, a side effect of all that is that I tend to get things done very quickly. Since I make decisions on the spot with the intention of reaching my goal the quickest, I avoid all the analysis paralysis that seems to get a hold of planner types. I kind of enjoy seeing what life tries to throw in my path, I guess I'm masochistic that way. Link to comment
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