Dani0613 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Have you ever broken it off with your SO because you've questioned your feelings, but later recognized that you were wrong to have left? If so, did you go back and reconcile? Have you ever broken it off with your SO because you needed space and time to re-evaluate yourself and attempt to discover 'who you are'? Did you go back to your ex? I'm just having such a difficult time with my situation. Some day, I've accepted it and recognize that there is nothing I can do to change it. Other days (like today), I can't help but question my ex's motives for leaving, knowing that she's fully aware that our relationship was wonderful and we were great together. How much time is 'too much' time to give to someone that has asked to be alone? I mean, I can't wait, that's a given. But, if that same person has told you that they would be willing to try again, how can you deny that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DLtoken Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 If someone askes for alone time, then let them be out of your life forever. If they can't work out their emotions with you, it sure as heck wouldn't be someone I would want to spend the rest of my life with. Don't let this person put you on their back burner while you are anxiously awaiting for anything from them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I wouldn't wait around. Move on with your life, it's only to your benefit if they don't come back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani0613 Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 I can't even say it's her age, she's 24...and in my opinion, that's old enough to know better. People really don't know what they have until their forced to live without it... and it sucks for people like us that love them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Yes, it does!!!!! Don't wait around, you'll only end up feeling like a fool. Speaking from experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpeedingCars Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I think you can still "discover" who you are while still BEING with someone. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to be single. So I think it's an excuse. Yeah definitely, don't wait around. It's unfair. Let her know that although you'd love to get back together, you can't possibly put your life on hold. What if it turns out she says at the last minute: "I changed my mind. Oops!" You would've wasted valuable time that could've been used to heal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani0613 Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 You're all right. Believe me, I'm not sitting at home waiting for her to walk thru the door b/c I KNOW I'm worth more than that. Thing is too, she's not happy with herself. A person can't be happy in a relationship unless he/she is happy with his/herself. IMO... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Maybe this is just me, but I have never been able to "discover" or find myself while I was in a serious relationship. Maybe that is why I have needed the single life from time to time. I know most people are not like this, but when you run into one of us, this is what you get. I am now old enough to where I know myself very well and have no need to be alone. So, I have been in a serious relationship for several years. When I was younger, though, I was single many times. When I needed space, I never went back because I just needed the space badly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riley123 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I think most would agree that they come back after have you have moved on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani0613 Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 dramatic irony..... lovely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchecterGuy Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I let her go. I have been kicking myself many a days because of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani0613 Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 you let someone go b/c YOU wanted to focus on yourself? Or, you let her go b/c she asked for it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchecterGuy Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 you let someone go b/c YOU wanted to focus on yourself? Or, you let her go b/c she asked for it? The first one. I learned I was better off with her. At that point it was too late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani0613 Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 The first one. I learned I was better off with her. At that point it was too late. I'm sorry that happened to you...:sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I think most would agree that they come back after have you have moved on. Really?? I hope not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 The first one. I learned I was better off with her. At that point it was too late. How long did it take you to recognize your mistake? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani0613 Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Everyone makes mistakes.....but hopefully, he learned from this one, right?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riley123 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Really?? I hope not! When an ex sees that the one they dumped is no longer chasing after their affection, they can stop ‘running’ and decisions are based on what they want (which could be the ex) instead of what they're running from. The chase can only stop by letting go and moving on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani0613 Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 The infamous 'dance of intimacy'.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Bendix Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 It matters in the manner that they do it. They may have gone too far in blaming you for all of their unhappiness and convinced themselves of it. In doing so they may be still miserable but they just blame that on another or on other circumstances. They do not come back whether you chase or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuhl282000 Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I'm in the same boat ............Titanic ........... Remember Jack and Rose ......what a love story .......and in the end Jack was never even on the passenger list .......in the water after it sank (like a broken relationship that just sank) .......they are in the water .......he pushes her Rose on a piece of floating wood ........TO SAVE HER ..........he stays in the water and freezes to death .......he loses his grip and floats down to the deep abyess .......sort of what happens to us all when we love someone.......we are willing to die for them ...........but we sometimes just have to let them go .....and in the end we are nothing more then a fleeting memory over time. Yes we had some great times, and I'll never forget the great times .......whatever it was ....the timing, the hurts, the words not said ........they are gone now .......we love them, we want them back ......but over time it changes things and people and situations .......and the lucky ones get back together ......they fight to get each other back ......some get mad and non forgiving and move on .......some fast some slow .....heartbreak is hard...really hard. But you both have to give 100% or it never works in the end ......I love happy endings, but Titanic was not a happy ending .....or was it. You decide .....Good Luck ....I have a broken heart myself .....and I loved her dearly more then I love myself ......but in the end we are not together and that brings great saddness to my heart. I love her, but in the end I had to let he go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuhl282000 Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I did .......I would love to go back .....but she has moved on ...... Spur on the moment that was building ......... I rolled the dice and it came up craps .......... Go back if you can ....the longer you wait .....remember things change .......some for the better some for the worst ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beentheredonetha Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 well, i was in that situation last year when i ended my relationship with the man i was seeing because i thought he was getting too involved with me and i was not at that point with him, plus my ex bf whom i was crazy about was also trying to get back with me. sometime this year, i felt guilty about what i did. called him, met up, he kept telling me how much he missed me etc etc. and one thing led to another. we started seeing each other again. and then he dumped me saying this is not for him and he only wants to be friends with me and doesn't feel the same way emotionally about me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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