I called my EX yesterday.

[ycmanvs]

I don't know why I did it. I have not spoken to him in a few weeks. I lost track of how long, so I figured I'd see how he was doing. It was an odd conversation. He sounded very sad and he kept trying to impress me by showing me how much he had changed. Of course I did not fall for it.

I did not feel sadness for the relationship. I have no intention of seeing him or speaking to him any time soon. He still does not seem to understand that, even though he agreed that breaking up was the best thing for both of us.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

>>'I have no intention of seeing him or speaking to him any time soon. He still does not seem to understand that'

 

Then why are you calling him? You are giving him mixed signals when you call. If you don't want him to think anything is going to happen between you, then quit calling him.

[ycmanvs]

>>'I have no intention of seeing him or speaking to him any time soon. He still does not seem to understand that'

 

Then why are you calling him? You are giving him mixed signals when you call. If you don't want him to think anything is going to happen between you, then quit calling him.

 

It's been months since we've seen eachother. I just wanted to see how he was. He is dating other people. He is doing well. He is not suffering. He is a narcissist, so his ego is bruised when I say that I have no intention of getting back together because he wants to be wanted...not by me....by everyone. That is why we broke up in the first place. It does not mean that I do not care about him as a person and I wish him well.

 

I also have a ton of stuff at his place. He said that he is in the process of re-decorating and wanted to know if I needed any of it. I told him that he can just put it in storage.

[christinesee]

I don't know why I did it. I have not spoken to him in a few weeks. I lost track of how long, so I figured I'd see how he was doing. It was an odd conversation. He sounded very sad and he kept trying to impress me by showing me how much he had changed. Of course I did not fall for it.

I did not feel sadness for the relationship. I have no intention of seeing him or speaking to him any time soon. He still does not seem to understand that, even though he agreed that breaking up was the best thing for both of us.

 

Don't beat yourself up here. You made a mistake by contacting him just. Stick to no contact and you'll be over him in no time at all.

[ycmanvs]

Don't beat yourself up here. You made a mistake by contacting him just. Stick to no contact and you'll be over him in no time at all.

 

Why do you say it was a mistake? I am over him. That is what I was trying to say in this post. That I did not feel upset at all talking to him and that I did not have any wish to actually meet up with him.

[leo_s84]

Why do you say it was a mistake? I am over him. That is what I was trying to say in this post. That I did not feel upset at all talking to him and that I did not have any wish to actually meet up with him.

 

It was a mistake because from the sound of it you're being selfish, you have no intention of getting back with him but you call him anyway when you know he still wants you back

[christinesee]

Why do you say it was a mistake? I am over him. That is what I was trying to say in this post. That I did not feel upset at all talking to him and that I did not have any wish to actually meet up with him.

 

Because your first sentance read "I don't know why I did it"? I thought this implied that you realized it was a mistake. My apologies if I miss read your post.

[ycmanvs]

It depends...who broke up with whom? If you broke with him, then yes, I'd say you're being very misleading despite the fact that he's seeing other people. He may still miss you, and in that case, I would advise you to leave him alone. If he broke up with you, then I would think about why you contacted him again. It's best not to open up old wounds.

 

We broke up with eachother. There was no dumper or dumpee because we both decided that we were toxic for eachother and needed to work on our own issues independently. We both agreed that we could keep in touch if we wanted.

That is all.

I am still friends with most of my ex's so this is just another ex that I decided to say "hello" to...but I fear that he is not over me yet.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It's been months since we've seen eachother. I just wanted to see how he was. He is dating other people. He is doing well. He is not suffering. He is a narcissist, so his ego is bruised when I say that I have no intention of getting back together because he wants to be wanted...not by me....by everyone. That is why we broke up in the first place. It does not mean that I do not care about him as a person and I wish him well.

 

I also have a ton of stuff at his place. He said that he is in the process of re-decorating and wanted to know if I needed any of it. I told him that he can just put it in storage.

 

 

If you are broken up and have no intentions of getting back together with him, why is the stuff still at his place? If he is re-decorating, why not get your stuff out of there. Regardless of his personality, it is not fair to him to leave your stuff hanging around telling him to be responsible for putting it in storage. Why should he deal with your stuff...if it has to go to a storage facility then why should he pay for it. I really don't think you are being fair. You called to see how he is doing...yet he is still not over you...not fair of you to call. Then when posters tell you it is not fair for you to call, you say that you have a ton of stuff at his place...yet have made no effort to collect it, leaving him to deal with your tons of stuff. This is very wrong. If you have no intentions of getting back together with him, then don't saddle him with your stuff. It is your stuff, your responsibility.

[ycmanvs]

Yes it is, but he has a big house and I have a very tiny apartment, so he can just put my stuff in his basement until whatever time I move into a bigger house. He does not mind doing this and offered to do it. He just was curious to see if I needed anything and was afraid to call me because he thought that I was upset with him.

Since he is not over me, I see no point in contacting him further at this point. I told him to get in touch with me if/when he is ready. My stuff can wait. It is not about the stuff, it is about being comfortable enough to communicate.

I am, but he is not.

That is all.

[ycmanvs]

That is what he does though. He still has stuff from his previous girlfriends, from many years ago. I need to figure out a plan to get the stuff. I have to ask a friend to drive me there with a truck...I have to pack all the stuff....I have to arrange for a place to store it...there is much that needs to be done.

[fivespot]

I don't understand...why didn't you ask to get your stuff back when you talked to him?

 

I don't want to sound like a jerk, but part of the reason I hate my ex now is because she used to drag me through the dirt doing this same crap, giving me false hope by calling me to "see how I'm doing" when I asked her to leave me alone. The only reason you should have called was to get your stuff back.

 

She knew I was hurt but her ego was more important. She didn't care if I was doing ok, she wanted to make sure I was still on the hook, and that she could get me back whenever she wanted. If you know he's not ready to communicate, then you should leave him alone. If he was hurt enough, chances are he'll never be ready to communicate.

 

My ex was ready to talk to me 6 months ago, but that was easy for her because she dumped me. If I never see her again, it will be too soon!

[ycmanvs]

My ex wanted to break up because he wanted to be able to date other people. He told me yesterday that he wanted to call me or get in touch with me but he was afraid that I was still mad at him because he cheated on me. That is no longer the case, but now that I am not in his life, he realises how much I meant to him.

In that sense, it was a mistake to call him because he may think that I want to get back together. I made it very clear that it was not the case.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I think it is kind of odd that he has all of his ex-girlfriends stuff still stored in his home. If he is that much of a lady's man then it almost sounds like these are his trophies once the relationship is over. That is pretty creepy. I know if someone cheated on me and the relationship went south, I would certainly want my stuff out of his place.

[ycmanvs]

Well, I did not want to have anything more to do with him at the time and I was willing never to see my stuff again. I am now less emotional and I just wanted to see if I could talk to him. He has not changed and never will, so I am not going to lose any sleep over my stuff.