soccerissweet Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 After 1 week NC my ex texts me " just wrote to say hi!, I was thinking about you!" I still really care for this girl and I would love to get back with her should I just ignore the text. There really is nothing for me to say. She knows I really care for her and want to get back together so I am pretty sure she knows I am thinking bout her too so why should I text her that back. Secondly, I dont want to have a meaningless conversation with her bout all the great things in her life.. I really dunno what to think or say back if anything to that text... Any advice, insight would be sweet... thanks! Link to comment
isilv3r Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Do you know if she is with anyone else? Link to comment
soccerissweet Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 shes still single but she hangs out with this guy. she says they are "seeing" each other but that hes not her bf if that makes any sense. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 she may want an ego boost. Don't reply. If she wants to talk to you, she'll call you again in a week or so. Link to comment
soccerissweet Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 however, i dont think they are seeing each other anymore they just hang out. But bout 1 week ago I was blunt and asked if she would give us a second chance and she said no but i still want to hang out. I said no we cant be friends its to hard on me and then went no contact..and here i am now Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 however, i dont think they are seeing each other anymore they just hang out. But bout 1 week ago I was blunt and asked if she would give us a second chance and she said no but i still want to hang out. I said no we cant be friends its to hard on me and then went no contact..and here i am now well, she said no. So take it as no. You know you need time to heal. Well just ignore her and take your time. Hang in their buddy, you're doing good. Link to comment
leo_s84 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Don't reply, debaser is right Link to comment
soccerissweet Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Yeah, I am not going to, if she actually wants to talk bout us im sure she would text again...or thats what i hope...haha.....thanks for the support! Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Yeah, I am not going to, if she actually wants to talk bout us im sure she would text again...or thats what i hope...haha.....thanks for the support! If she really wanted to talk to you, she would call you back. You are exactly right with that. Don't be under her control. Keep up with the healing and stay busy! Link to comment
jkam Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 try to look at it in her view? she knows you still care for her? why the heck arent you replying (in her mind) itll get her thinking more about you and thereforee most likely she will contact you again! Link to comment
isilv3r Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Under no circumstances will it do you any good or will you benefit from replying to her message. She probably felt like she needed to send you a random text to satisfy her own feelings. If you responded and she didn't you would feel worse in the end. Not only that, you know she doesn't want to get together and by replying, she's getting what she wants. Be strong friend! Link to comment
soccerissweet Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Ironically, it is almost like she texted me that to make me feel worse. Before that text I was sad but at least I was accepting it was over and that she would never contact me again and vise versa. Now, even though I do not want to a part of me has hope. It would have been easier if she texted me somthing along the lines of never talk to me again...haha...at least i would have no expectations...not that i should anyway but its human nature when you care for somebody i guess Link to comment
yankeefan74 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 yeah, when people break up, they don't just shut off their feelings. I suppose if the dumper really isn't in love anymore, that's one thing - but I'm sure she still cares. She just did what she thought was best at the time. However, I agree with the other posters that this text probably has more to do with her trying to deal with her own guilt...if you respond that you're doing fine, and thinking about her - you give her what she wants. if you respond negatively - then you could wind up in a text message war, or it will just confirm that she made the right decision...you can't win here. Let her continue to see what it's like without you in her life. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Dumpers don't want to feel bad about themselves, and may feel guilty, so want to check up on you to make THEMSELVES feel less guilty. It's like they drive in the knife (i'm dumping you) and they they pat you on the back and say, 'but how you doing, i'm thinking of you.' It doesn't make logical sense, but it does from the standpoint they don't want to feel guilty and may still like you as a person and feel bad about the pain they caused. Or another alternative is that she left to chase this other guy, and wants you in the background in case that doesn't work out with him. Many dumpers try to keep that line open in case the new love doesn't work out, they have a backup plan. Regardless, it means nothing unless she calls to say she wants to get back together, so don't respond. Link to comment
soccerissweet Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 So I didnt text her back and I wake up the next morning to another text....it says "night soccerissweet! This is weird because we have been broken up for over 3 months now and the last time she said good night to me was when we were still dating. Again, do you think she just wants to know i'm still there or something. Seriously, did she just want me to text her back saying night, i don't get it... Link to comment
riley123 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Is that a pet name she had for you or do others refer to you as soccerissweet as well? Link to comment
DrPhil Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 While I believe in certain situations, you should respond...that text she sent you is just flat out disrespectful. Don't respond. Link to comment
soccerissweet Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 oh sorry, she just called me by my name...drphil..do u think both texts were disrespectful Link to comment
Clabs Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Hey soccerissweet My vote is with the others - don't respond. She'll tell you if she wants back, but for now she is just yanking your chain to see if you are still "there". Don't let her confusion fuel your confusion because you will just end up doing your head in trying to decypher her crappy messages. Mark Link to comment
riley123 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Yes, she's overstepping her bounds. Do there hardest thing right now...nothing. Link to comment
DrPhil Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 oh sorry, she just called me by my name...drphil..do u think both texts were disrespectful Sorry, I didn't see the 2nd text. The fact that she's trying to contact you in this manner is disrespectful. Link to comment
joshparker Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 dont reply dude, i made the mistake of replying and guess what i went back to sqaure one. plus if you dont reply it makes them want you more i think. Link to comment
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