she broke up with me over the phone

[ptd]

we hung out for a little while before we actually became romantically involved, but once it started, things happened fast. after a month i was staying over on a regular basis and i had a few of my belongings at her house (some clothes, etc). things were great; i had a lot of free time because it was summer and i was out of school, i only worked like 15 hrs a week, and she had just graduated and was not working yet, so we spent a lot of time together. my funds were quickly dwindling, so i got a second job and started working around 50 hours a week. she was notified that she got this pretty good job where she graduated from, but like a week later, the job was retracted and she had to move her stuff out of the school. i was unable to help her move that day because i had worked until 2am the night before and all that day from 11am-5pm, so i told her i was exhausted and that i needed to take an hour nap. an hour turned into 4 hours, and by the time i woke, she had texted me that all of my stuff was in her living room, the door was open, but she was not there and that i needed to pick my stuff up. i was like, "holy * * * * , is she breaking up with me?" i picked my * * * * up and went to the bar to think about what had just happened. she contacted me the next day and said how sorry she was that she reacted like that and that she didn't want to break up or throw me out, she just freaked out because of her situation. i was working so much and had so much on my mind, i just said "ok", went about my business, and saw her very little over the next week. i then emailed her to express the way i felt about her actions, she replied, i thought we came to an understanding, and everything seemed to be back on track.

 

well, about a month has passed since that incident, i thought i was making progress with getting comfortable around her again (i've only been sleeping at her house like once a week), but last night i called her and she pretty much blurted out something along the lines of "i don't think this is working for me, so i don't think we should see each other any more." i was shocked that this was happening again. i became so angry, i drove to her house, collected my belongings, and left without saying more than 5 words to her or even looking at her. we texted for a while after that. the text conversation was along the lines of me telling her how * * * * ed up her knee jerk reactions to things are and how i think her reasons for breaking up with me are a cop out, and her trying to tell me * * * * like she loves me so she needs to let me go, but she really wants it to work. are you serious? you want it to work so instead of communicating you break up with me every time you have an issue?! i'm so sad and angry it makes me nauseous. i had just taken her to a concert and bought her a bike and we had made plans to be in new york in less than 2 weeks... and she abruptly pulls the plug. i don't care about the material goods, i'm just saying everything seemed fine to me, but she has probably been thinking about this for a while and i had no clue. i don't want to be her friend or even talk to her. i have deleted her from my phone. i feel like an idiot and all i want to do is get real drunk. * * * * .

[HeartGoesOn]

I think you may have jumped too quick through the "getting to know you phase".

 

It could be that she realized that this was moving too fast, and regretted having you stay at her house without really knowing you that well.

 

I've found that when a relationship starts out this fast, it usually fizzles out just as fast.

 

Maybe if you and her had dated more, as opposed to staying over at her house, and planning a trip together this early, she would have been more comfortable.

 

I agree that if this was the case, she should have brought it up you, and tried to work through it.

[Ocean of Blue]

how long were you dating for ?

[Mutley]

At least you got a call.

 

I got absolutely nothing. Don't know if she's alive or dead. So be it.

[ptd]

we officially dated for about 3 months, but we knew each other from before and hung out a solid month before we became romantically involved. one of her main reasons for ending it she said was that there was a lack of communication on my part, but i'm starting to think that it was lacking from her, not me. i always invited conversation about us and when she expressed that she thought things were moving fast, i respectfully scaled back. she told me last night that after the first altercation that i was a different person, and i was like "no * * * * , you threw me out of your house and then told me that you wanted to take things slower, so i did." she said she felt like she did irreparable damage and that she wanted it to work, but it didn't seem like it would, even though i was over the first incident and moving on. this was news to me as of last night, so that's why i think her communication skills are lacking. my only conclusion is that there is more than what she says because her reasons sound like cop outs; it's like she gave up without even letting me know there was any danger. i'm so frustrated and sick.

[ptd]

heartgoeson, i agree with your reasoning, but according to her she said that things were happening naturally and that she just freaked out on me.

 

mutley, i'm sorry to hear about that.