Hopelives Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Told me he was blown away that I was thinking of breaking up with him. told me he had dated many but not felt like he had for me since his divorce (he left her after 20 years). Even went so far as to ask if I had someone else to which I responded, I loved him, no one could hold a torch to him. A week later, he told me loved every minute he spent with me, missed talking to and seeing me, loved how we laughed a lot, loved a lot; he said he did some soul searching after I asked my questions about the next few months and time together, and realized with his heavy schedule (he's a family practice doctor) and his kids in high school and college, he didn't have much time for a relationship. Told me I'd always be in his thoughts and prayers... okay - I was healing after that... sad, devastated but healing. THEN he wrote me again 4 days later - "how are you? how's the new company?" I formed my own corporation... I responded with the truth. I told him I missed him, that Yesterday, I checked - he'd posted his profile back on link removed saying he was looking for his soulmate... I'm horrified, humiliated, devastated, abandoned - he's a player... and never once did I suspect. Help?! Link to comment
Catdancer Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Either he's a player or he's seeking attention from anyone to boost his ego and self esteem because you rejected him. Link to comment
Hopelives Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 I didn't really dump him tho - exactly... it's all surreal... I'm so incredibly humiliated and hurt - if he didn't want me, he didn't need to write me at all! He could have just let it die... no need to rub salt in my open wounds... why write me again? why ask how the new company is going? why ask how I'm doing? it just feels like he wanted to open the door just to slam it in my face and slap me... I'm just so darn hurt... Link to comment
Catdancer Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Ignore him. Dont write him, dont answer him. He will get the point and he'll leave you alone. You dont need to keep opening yourself to the pain. Link to comment
Hopelives Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 I don't expect to hear from him again. I responded to his questions with a "wish we could work this out..." and his response was his profile being activated on link removed... crushed beyond belief. Two weeks ago he told me he wanted to take the next step with me but his kids, still reeling from his divorce, were going to take some more time. He told me our whole conversation was so darn hard ... I just don't get why he reached out to me again... only to post his profile looking for someone - haha - just like me Link to comment
Catdancer Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Maybe he's lashing out to try to hurt you. I dont know. Best thing is to stay off that site and ignore him. Link to comment
Jeen Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 There is no other way to put it, he is a as. (((Hugs))) Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Same thing happened to me! Except my ex was tactless enough to say it on his msn name. I was so mad! Ugh, I don't know what to tell ya, except that at least you can pick up your bags and leave now.. instead of 20 years later like his ex wife, ya know? lots more time wasted. Link to comment
cpujunkie Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Over 3 and a half years with mine and within a week seeing somebody else and during the first month back on the online personals. Link to comment
Hopelives Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 As a doctor, you would think he'd have a better handle on how his actions hurt other people, you would think he'd show more compassion toward me. He told me a mere 4 weeks ago how he thoroughly enjoyed being with me and wanted to continue building a relationship with MY son - who's father has never been around. I'm so disgusted with him, and with me - I cannot believe I trusted him... and I really can't believe he just posted on that site ... apparently, I meant nothing... and his words meant nothing... and his actions meant to only encourage further attachment to him... Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 How long did you two date? Link to comment
Hopelives Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 Long enough for him to have given me the keys, fob, and garage door opener to his condo... long enough for me to have enough roses to fill every wall in my bedroom... long enough for him to have talked about winter trips, vacations, and living together... long enough for him to have choked up the night I asked my questions about working through the next few months... long enough for him to ask about another man and say this whole conversation had blown him away... I feel so led on... there was no reason for him to write me last Th... none... except to open the door again... give me hope that we could work this through... my response to him was loving, kind, and telling him the door was open... and he's posting for a new woman already... Link to comment
Hopelives Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 why does it matter?? months, not years... it was the shortest I've ever been with some, the most intense and happy I've ever been too... he came on like a freight train, and left like a hurricane... with me tumbling in the wake... Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 why does it matter?? months, not years... it was the shortest I've ever been with some, the most intense and happy I've ever been too... he came on like a freight train, and left like a hurricane... with me tumbling in the wake... I have learned that men who come accross like fireworks fizzle out quickly. Sometimes, it is too good to be true. You put alot of trust in him. Let him meet your son and whatnot. I'm sorry that you are so hurt. I know that it is painful and that it will take you a bit to recover. He's most likely just not ready to settle down. He probably is enjoying all this freedom and control he has since his divorce. Link to comment
Hopelives Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 He left his wife 2 years ago. His kids at home then (then ages 18, and 14) would not speak to him for 6 months - wouldn't answer phone calls, emails, or anything else. He moved out and started dating within weeks of leaving her. Said he'd been neglected for so long that he didn't leave to be alone. He told me I was the only one he'd ever developed feelings for. He asked that my son come with us on dates as he felt sorry for my son getting left behind. He said that his ex wife wouldn't want their own kids with them and it often puzzled him. A month ago he was telling me he was so thrilled to be with me... telling me that he thoroughly enjoyed being with me and emphatically said he'd do it again (spend the weekend with me during a race). Then he left for family reunion... was gone for 2 weeks... then... As short as 2 weeks ago, during "the" conversation, he said it would be easier if we lived together... then later asked, if I'd thought that when I sold my house, I was going to move in with him... I said no, hadn't considered it. As short as 2 weeks ago during same conversation, he was choked up because I wasn't sure we should still go out. In a choked up voice he asked if there was someone else... Next day, he wrote to say he was blown away. Week later, he sends me his email about soul searching... no time and that I would find and deserve better... Four days after that (last TH), he asks how I'm doing and how the new corp is coming along. I answer. Yesterday, he had posted on millionairematch. I am beyond stunned. I'm horrified he led me down the path to trust him - he used his medical background to ingratiate himself with me, using that calm bedside manner... telling me stories and even shedding a tear or two. He changed plans often, canceled at times "due to son needing" him, and then would send me roses, cards, bought golf clubs for me... He's 50, I'm 43 and well educated (haahahaha - apparently book smarts do NOT = life smarts!!!!!) I'm sickened... breaking up happens but usually there is some modicum of decency and honor with it; usually there is respect for the other's feelings. Posting on a public board about seeking someone new, when we are not yet cooled ashes, is cruel... I think someone said it best - he's lashing out, or he's a player... And yes, best for me to find out now how he is rather than years from now. I understand that in my head, just my gut feels like it's had "The Joker" playing with it. Link to comment
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