Believeyoume Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 So sometimes I'll have a dream about my ex and wake up feeling so close and attached to her again. As if we REALLY are together again and it feels so real for that first minute that I wake. I just want her to be here to comfort me in my pain, but she is the one causing all the pain in me. It's a false hope though and it hurts so much to realize it was only fiction. Has anyone else had this happen? Waking from this kind of thing makes me go into "child-mode" again and I just want someone to come hold me as tight as they possibly can. I just want to be alright. Link to comment
Catdancer Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Yes...it freaks me out when it happens. I used to meet him in his dreams, so I feel like he's trying to suck me in again when it happens. Creepy.... Link to comment
SchecterGuy Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I had a bad one a couple of nights ago. In the dream I met up with her and she had her two sisters with her and all they kept saying was how much happier she was without me and how much her new man is better than me. Ouch! Link to comment
ladyachika Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 This has happened to me for the past 2 weeks...Just as I'm about to wake up (you know, that lucid state that happens about an hour before you fully wake up), I'm thinking of my ex in a loving way, as if everything was ok. Then once I'm more awake and have my wits about me, I remember that we're not together anymore... It really sucks, but I think it's all mind over matter. Once I've fully accepted the break up, it will stop happening. Getting closer every day! Link to comment
Believeyoume Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 This has happened to me for the past 2 weeks...Just as I'm about to wake up (you know, that lucid state that happens about an hour before you fully wake up), I'm thinking of my ex in a loving way, as if everything was ok. Then once I'm more awake and have my wits about me, I remember that we're not together anymore... It really sucks, but I think it's all mind over matter. Once I've fully accepted the break up, it will stop happening. Getting closer every day! Thanks Lady, it's good to hear someone in the same boat, as unfortunate as it is. I keep hearing the word time, time, time and I know it's what I need, but I know how impatient we are as humans, especially when it comes to reconciling loved ones. It's only been almost a month, but I still got it pretty bad. I have my good hours though, which is better than only the good minutes I used to have. Link to comment
cpujunkie Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I have numerous dreams of her here lately with some being great and some being not so great.......makes it tough I will admit. Keep your chin and things will turn out for the best. Link to comment
Clabs Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Hey Believeyoume Those dreams can totally suck and set you up for a really bad day. It seems so unfair - you cannot even get some peace when you are asleep! The good news is that the dreams will pass with a bit more time. This can be a slow old process but already you have gone from good minutes to good hours so you know that you are going in the right direction. Keep strong mate - post back here if you feel down, we can help you get through this crappy time. Mark Link to comment
Believeyoume Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 The other thing is...how can someone be so two-faced. When I dated her, she was the most loving, caring being I knew. Then all the sudden one day, she decides she only feels more of a friendship, not like a girlfriend. Obviously, knowing this is crushing me (because I am crying) she just talks in an unsympathetic voice. She no longer seems to care and seems like a total b*tch...something I would never have dreamed in a millon years she could be. Was she being so harsh so that it would deter me from wanting her to help me get over her better...and in that case, she does care about my well-being and wants me to get over it quicker? or.... Did I just date a girl for a year that I never knew how mean she really could be. It's hard to believe I could spend every moment with someone for a year and then never really know she was like that. In my heart, I feel she is a good girl. And if it was all a lie, that she was happy and content with me as she said throughout our whole year...then who can I trust ever? I dedicated a year to lighting up her heart and she did mine. What more can you do to gain trust? She just instantly turned into a girl I had never known, overnight...or so it seemed. Anyone else experience this? Link to comment
SchecterGuy Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 First GF one night kept telling me how greatful she was that she met me then a few days later she dumped me. I was blindsided to an extent. Her mood tended to be all over the place. Side note to the story she hooked up with a girl after me. Link to comment
Dani0613 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 YES, YES, and YES. Last night I dreamed of my ex gf! We have only been broken up for a month (will be a month on the 25th), but I'm still meeting up with her in my dreams. This particular dream was hard for me b/c she had rekindled a relationship with an ex of hers and told me that she just didn't want to be with me anymore. My gf has been with men before, but identifies better with women and pursues relationships with women now. Anyway, in the dream she suggested that she wanted to be with a man instead..etc etc. Just a sh*tty dream. And, I've also experienced the Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde thing. I was with her for a year and a half and the last time I saw her, it was like interacting with a stranger. She was distant, seemed beside herself and had nothing really to say to me. We've gone our separate ways b/c she's voiced to me that she needs to be alone and focus on herself. She has some emotional maturing to do before she can continue to be in a relationship. Unfortunately, our relationship had to end because of this. I'm in the same boat you are, you're not alone. NC has definitely helped me, albeit, it's difficult. Hang in there.. Link to comment
pesh Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 For the first few nights after he dumped me I was having dreams with him in it, one of which was him giving me two options- getting back together or something else that i cant remember. i do remember kissing him on the cheek, then saying "oh sorry, i've gotta stop myself from doing that..." and he said that it was ok if i kissed i=him on the cheek. and then i wake up, feeling loving towards him, and it makes me miss him a lot. i remember sitting in my bed the day after he dumped me, feeling really crappy and crying. And I thought to myself, when ever I feel this way, the ehing i wanted to do the most was cuddle in his arms or talk to him about it. except now HE'S the one who is making me feel so depressed, and that made me hurt so much more, because i didnt have my usual way of being comforted. i think that maybe she is being harsh so that it helps you get over her in a way. by her being * * * * * y, then you dont want to be longing for the relationship. that is what my ex is doing in a way. he hasnt talked to me since (its been a month), yet he promised we would still be friends. I think that's making it worse, because then i feel conflicted and confused. Link to comment
SpeedingCars Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Oh man, the dreams (or NIGHTMARES) are the worst Especially when they're sooo real that when you wake up, you almost think you're still together. I don't know when they'll stop. I've been having a tough time sleeping... Link to comment
Believeyoume Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Oh man, the dreams (or NIGHTMARES) are the worst Especially when they're sooo real that when you wake up, you almost think you're still together. I don't know when they'll stop. I've been having a tough time sleeping... I can totally relate. I wake up and for the first few seconds, believe...actually believe we are together again, because I was so used to waking up that way for over a year. My best friend, my lover was just torn from my life. I don't know how I even go on each day, honestly. Link to comment
GottaLetItBurn Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Yeah, I find it's a way for my mind to slowly work her out of my waking thoughts by working them out during dreams. Like when we see a scary movie, a nightmare can follow to cleanse the mind. Some times when I'm learning a lot during a short period of time I'll have dreams where my teeth fall out or I pull them out. It's suppose to symbolize growth or something like that. I hate them though, your in this heaven and then you wake up to hell. I usually feel a little better though later in the day. Link to comment
cpujunkie Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 It does suck to wake up thinking about them and what you had along with going to bed thinking the same thing. In time they say those thoughts will be replaced. Link to comment
ladyachika Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Made some progress this morning...I woke up feeling empowered and thinking of ME and not him. When the thought of him came into my mind, I mentally told him to get the hell away from me. I don't need you anymore, loser. Link to comment
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