MrCrazy2u Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I made a scary realization over the past few days (and I think I'm in love, dammit)... I met this girl (we'll call her Terra) a couple months ago while I was visiting another friend of mine (we'll call her Laura). Since I was there visiting Laura I wasn't gonna hang around her during her party. We both knew I was there to visit her, we didn't need to make it known to everyone else. I went around and met all of her friends, talking to everyone. At one point I saw Terra and introduced myself. We clicked right off the bat, but I was there visiting Laura so I wasn't gonna go past flirting with Terra. During the past two months since we met we kept in contact through texting and facebook, continuing the flirting and talking. A few weeks ago we were talking and she told me, "I wish we could have hung out more than once so I wouldn't be as embarrassed to tell you I miss you." I told her I'd come visit her the next time I was in town especially because she's leaving for basic training this week so I have no idea when we'll be able to see each other again. I went to see her last week and stayed a couple days. Then I made my realization: it's going to be much, much harder to find someone I want to be in a long term relationship with (at this point it doesn't really matter because I'm not looking for one). I'm attracted to Terra on a completely different level than all the other women I've been with or have been attracted to, except for two others, neither of which I dated. Before last week I just figured if I'm attracted to all these different women I can just date them to figure out if I want to get into a relationship with them, but now I've realized that's not exactly the case. With all those other women I was attracted to it was much more of a physical/sexual attraction compared to Terra and the other two. That's the scariest part of the realization... I've only met 3 of these women in my entire life (granted, I'm only in my early twenties), and nothing has come about from each one... The first girl was right after my ex broke up with me so I wasn't in the mindset to see her throwing herself at me, the second moved away shortly after she broke up with her ex, and the third, Terra, is leaving for basic and then going active duty so who knows when I'll see her again. So, not only did I make that realization, now I think I'm in love with Terra. I can't stop looking at the pictures we took while I was there, I constantly think about her throughout the day, I run through those two days I was there remembering everything we talked about, and I'm reminded of her with an empty pain in my heart anytime I do something that we did while I was visiting her. The sucky part (well, there are two parts), which are also most likely blessings in disguise, is unless she's very good at hiding her feelings she doesn't feel the same way AND she is going off to basic... so at least I'll get over it relatively quickly... kind of. She did tell me she's going to write me so I'll be looking forward to that. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 why are you falling in love with all of these women so fast? sounds more like infatuation. ....especially when you say you can get over it really quickly if need be. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 You don't know her, to be able to say you love her. It's an *infatuation* you have with her....and men confuse *infatuation* with *love*...and more so than women, apparently.......fact, cant remember where I read that, but I did. Could've been Mars and Venus... Actually you sound a lot like the guy I was recently involved with. Never met this guy before... we met online and chatted online, talked by phone a lot and suddenly he's saying he has feelings, he loves me...he's never felt this way before, etc, etc..?? Yet the guy doesn't know me....well not enough to say he can love me anyway. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 You don't know her, to be able to say you love her. It's an *infatuation* you have with her....and men confuse *infatuation* with *love*...and more so than women, apparently.......fact, cant remember where I read that, but I did. Could've been Mars and Venus... Actually you sound a lot like the guy I was recently involved with. Never met this guy before... we met online and chatted online, talked by phone a lot and suddenly he's saying he has feelings, he loves me...he's never felt this way before, etc, etc..?? Yet the guy doesn't know me....well not enough to say he can love me anyway. i can believe that. so glad i know the difference. Link to comment
MrCrazy2u Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 why are you falling in love with all of these women so fast? sounds more like infatuation. ....especially when you say you can get over it really quickly if need be. I never said I fell in love with the other women. I've only been definitively sure I was in love once and that was with my ex. The attraction I felt toward the three women was different than all of the other women I've been attracted to (including my ex) and now the attraction I feel toward Terra is different than the initial attraction between all three. And that's not exactly what I meant by quickly... I said "relatively quickly," as in compared to if she was still around to visit or to talk to. Compared to that, her absense will make it easier to recover from... compared to that I will be able to recover "relatively quickly." Everything is relative, that's why I made the comparison. You don't know her, to be able to say you love her. It's an *infatuation* you have with her....and men confuse *infatuation* with *love*...and more so than women, apparently.......fact, cant remember where I read that, but I did. Could've been Mars and Venus... Actually you sound a lot like the guy I was recently involved with. Never met this guy before... we met online and chatted online, talked by phone a lot and suddenly he's saying he has feelings, he loves me...he's never felt this way before, etc, etc..?? Yet the guy doesn't know me....well not enough to say he can love me anyway. Fortunately I'm not dumb enough to "confess my feelings." I can't name a time when that's worked out for anyone in this stage of a relationship (I'm talking about a person-to-person relationship, not an intimate/romantic one) and I could name countless times when telling a girl I "liked her" would have ruined everything. I flirt with women enough so they usually have a good idea of my interest in them. To me, the whole "love" part of my post was minor because regardless of whether it's love or infatuation, nothing could possibly happen between us for countless reasons. What I'm really worried about is my recent awareness that I'm not really attracted to most women as I thought I was and the women I really am attracted to exit my life soon after we meet. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 sounds like you are obsessing though. Link to comment
MrCrazy2u Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 sounds like you are obsessing though. Possible. I have an obsessive personality which is very obvious when it comes to my hobbies so it wouldn't surprise me if it showed through in my interactions with women... but when I compare the number of women I meet to how many I develop this intense attraction for I find it a bit harder to believe. Every time I find a hobby I like I get into it very quickly, but with women I definitely don't develop that intense attraction with every one I find good-looking and with a nice personality. Link to comment
fastball2113 Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 As someone who has had first hand experience in this situation, bro leme save you the time and the heartache: when you begin to obsess over a girl, she can read it from a mile away. Once she senses your interest, GONE. Your shot is gone and shes onto someone else. Also, GET TO KNOW HER, not as trying to get with her..then you dont come accross as being needy Link to comment
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