I feel empty-please help

[dom2327]

Basically I feel empty inside.I'm 15 and have felt like this for about 3-4 years, since my parents divorced. I felt guilty, and I can't shake the guilt, although I know it's not my fault. I self harmed back then, and very recently started again, before stopping because i felt bad. I mean, I could imagine what my girlfriend of six months would think. I told her ad she was very supportive but i still felt bad, like i let her down. I just feel empty now. I can't explain it, but it's like i can't connect with people, or really empathize with anyone. Basically i just don't care anymore, which makes me feel worse. My niece was hit by a bus last christmas and we all thought she was going to die. She didn't but it left me feeling, " i feel bad because all i went through is a divorce and i feel like this, and she got hit by a bus". I feel like if something worse happened to me, i could explain this and maybe tell someone. Sometimes i feel maybe that i'm just trying being attention seeking. I had/have glandular fever which someone told me can affect emotions. I consider suicide alot-just imagine what it would be like to kill myself. I suppose one of the things that stops me (or i like to think is what stops me) is how my parents/ friends/relatives would feel, but then i feel like a coward who doesnt want to go through with it.

 

Please help-is this just normal for teenagers or is it something else?

[mca1975]

Divorce is a very hard thing to go through, especially at your age. My battery is about to run out on here, but I hope to god someone else will speak with you tonight.

 

Please dont feel alone, or bad, you are not bad, its just bad things have happened and its overwhelming you. Life is hard and when you're 15, you start to really see it and its hard to accept.

 

Can you not talk to anyone in your famly about how you are feeling? They may not have a clue but will be there to help you. Everyone gets affected by divorce. You havent done anything wrong, its just a bad time you are going through right now, you will not feel like this forever. You will feel happy again.

 

Much love

 

xx

[mca1975]

I think its common for a lot of people to think about suicide, but thinking about it and doing it are two different things. You are just reaching out to someone, you need to talk and break the silence. Can you call the Samaritans, I have before, they are really nice people. Self-harm is a way of dealing with the pain that you feel. You have to get this pain out by talking, not hurting yourself.

 

x

[mca1975]

Yes, its very normal to feel like this at ur age, I felt very depressed in my teenage years. But here I am at 33, still searching for the right man, lol, but yes I'm happy!

x

[dom2327]

thank you mca1975, i have talked to my g/f a little, to be honest she's the only person in my life at the moment i can really connect to. if i feel really bad i will try and ring the samaritans.

 

Thank you for replying.

[luvs2kayak]

I know my daughter had a lot of despair when her father and I divorced. She was 13 at the time and told me that she basically forced herself to stop caring about anything because it was too painful to care. She is now 20 years old and has a life of her own, pretty much, so she is seeing things much differently now. What I'm telling you is that it will get better, especially as you gain more independence. Remember that maybe you've learned from your parents marriage what NOT to do, so you can do better with your own life. Give yourself time and your perspective is bound to change. Meanwhile, surround yourself with positive people.

 

Best of luck to you and take care of yourself...

[ClementineK]

I felt the exact same way when I was 15! My parents split when I was 12. I don't think it troubled me quite as much as it did you...but that's only 'cause my family is weird to say the least. Anyways... yes I was a very depressed, angsty, thought-about-suicide teenager all around. But stay strong! Life gets better! You can't taste the sweet without the bitter! My best advice to you is don't make anyone your universe. It's easy to do when you feel like you do. You want your savior to come around and make your life all better. Just put all those feelings into something productive like creativity, or school or religion, whatever. I poured my life and heart out into a guy and I made him my universe. I think I lost a lot from that relationship except for learning not to do it again. haha. Oh well... best of luck to you!!!

[dom2327]

thanks everyone for the great advice

 

it really helps that people actually care