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is having a crush on your boss normal


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I am a 20yr old account rep at a credit union, which is similar to a bank teller. I was trained over my break from school by this HR guy. He is 5 years older than me. Hes not gorgeous, but I think hes cute. He is mature, very nice and has a good sense of humor. My brother use to work at the credit union as well, so I use to think he was nice to me because of that. Now Ive seen him enough to know that he is a very friendly, nice person, I mean you have to be to work in HR. He is single and he lives with his brother. I think he may have commitment issues because when we were talking about a coworker who is his age and just had a kid, this guy remarked "im a year older than him and Im so far away from having a family"


I started full time this summer. When I came back he had been promoted and now he is one of my supervisors. When I started on my first day I saw he had sent me an email over my training saying “Hope you have a nice first day on the floor. I also hope you’ll have a good rest of the semester at school” with a smiley face at the end, and that I just didnt see it before. It made me way too happy. I know he is just doing his job and its just a crush. I would never act on it, so don’t think I am unprofessional. (I am sure he has no idea either- I never talk about it to anybody because Im terrified he’ll figure it out.)

The job is quite stressful and being flustered around him and feeling very stupid whenever I make a mistake does not help at all. My first week by myself was quite awful but apparently thats pretty normal. However, because of him and having him explain to me my mistakes and trying to fix my mistakes I was more upset than I should have been. The other day he gave me a bunch of work to do and when I said “why don’t you give some to so and so?” he said “because you’re my favorite” I know hes just joking around, but again, it got me way too happy. I agreed to drive my coworkers to their cars when it was pouring outside, he said to me "Thats a very nice thing for you to do" Again, I got way too happy. It is nice I guess he thinks Im good because he has asked me to do things before but it is not like he gives me attention all the time, I think hes just trying to be a good boss.


I wish he would just like me a little bit. I am attractive. Not saying it to be arrogant, its not like I use it to get guys or anything. In fact, there is a guy my age who is an account rep too and likes me (i only like him as a friend) we talk alot and I am actually worried my boss thinks I do like him, I have had other coworkers make comments like we shouldnt work next to each other which is ridiculous. I sincerely doubt he would look at me that way. Will this ever go away? Its to the point where I hate working at his branch.

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Eh, I've always had a bit of a teacher/student, mentor/mentoree fetish. If there's been some reasonably kind, witty, smart, older male in a position of authority over me, I'm very susceptible to getting all googly-eyed.


In my early to mid 20's I was lucky enough to work for a guy who knew & respected the boundaries and never took advantage of that. Not all young women are that fortunate and some get taken advantage of.


I'm sure you've already heard or been told that getting involved/dating/having personal romantic-type relationships with people you work with or work for isn't generally a good idea. It's also something most people don't really understand until they've been burned by it first hand (yours truly included) or have witnessed someone close to them get burned by it.


Just because you have a crush on someone doesn't mean you ever have to act on it. This is probably one of those situations where it's likely to be best if you can learn to enjoy those giddy feelings without ever acting on them. Over time, I've found that those we have crushes on will eventually fall off the pedestal we placed them upon and we'll wonder what the heck we ever saw in them. It's just a matter of letting it run it's course without overly embarrassing yourself or doing anything really stupid before it does.

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