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So she IS seeing someone else...


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Apologies, for the last 8 weeks I have completely denied that my ex was romantically involved with someone else.

 

Well today, I find the truth out...

 

We split because of ME that is clear, 10 weeks ago. Her new lover lives 200 miles away so no way an affair was on the cards. She was always with me.

 

About 6 weeks ago my ex tells me that she plans to move away to stay with a old Uni friend, I believe this was also a legit move.

 

Anyway we used to share an email account, so I was checking it the other day there and notices a rougue name, recommending her for a job. I Bebo the name and its a 32 year old dude, lawyer, my ex is also a lawyer and he is single. Hmmmmmm. Dude also lives in the new town.

 

I check his Bebo today and read the following:

 

I'm fine. Just spent the whole weekend with [exes name], which was magic. Getting on like a house on fire!

 

and

 

I've got a new flat that need christening and I have a new girlfriend

 

B*tch is * * * * ing about 3/4 weeks outside of a 7 year realtionship.

 

So I email her the following:

 

 

So, I hear at the football tonight that your seeing someone already and your decision to move away (to ****** of all places) and possibly break up with me was down to him. I seemed to be the only person that didn't know. Thanks for being so considerate.

I have to say, even by your standards recently, this was unexpected. I guess you think you know someone in life and in reality you dont know them at all.

What was in like three weeks or something after a seven year relationship ended and your moving away to be with someone else? I am sure your parents will approve.

Anyway, its really none of my business I just thought I would let you know that the cat is out of the bag. So you can stop the lies and pretending to be a caring, kind person. After this episode I don't think anyone really believes that anymore and can truly see your true colours.

Question is, were you seeing this goon behind my back? Cheating on me? Or is it the classic rebound?

 

Anyway, just as well I am a strong person, despite losing nearly 2 stone recently and almost losing my job I am through the worst of it and you cant hurt me anymore. Not going to write you a list of YOUR faults, there pretty evident.

 

She sees herself as a caring and kind person. This will destroy her that everybody now knows and the best part is that she doesn't have a clue how.

 

Anyway, I am so relieved, and happy for the first time in months. No more false hope etc

 

Plus I have a date on Thursday.

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Thanks guys.

 

I have had 10 weeks of highs, extreme lows and false hope.

 

Now I know there is NO way back. This is the closure that I have been longing for, for so long.

 

I am not overally angry, more bemused. She never cheated on me, all this would have happened 4/5 weeks after we split. Still its pretty fast.

 

Its the fact she can move on to a new relationship so quickly, its the classic rebound though. She has also not told any mutual friends, they are all shocked. She has been lying to them as well.

 

The last email she wrote me stated she is a kind, caring, unselfish person. Ha ha. She is a cold-hearted liar and good riddance to her.

 

I am at peace with myself now, I have knocked her off the pedestal and have NO regrets about the relationship.

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It's a bad day, for sure. But now you will be able to fully concentrate on the great work you have been doing on yourself and moving on.

 

Remember to come back and rant on here though, no more messages to the ex - remember your dignity even if she has none.

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It's a bad day, for sure. But now you will be able to fully concentrate on the great work you have been doing on yourself and moving on.

 

Remember to come back and rant on here though, no more messages to the ex - remember your dignity even if she has none.

 

No way, I have nothing left to say to her.

 

I am sure I will have ups and downs though so will make sure I continue to post.

 

Also if I get a response from her I will also post it.

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So why send her the email? For spite? I mean did she really lie to you?

 

Yeah, I asked her several times if there was someone else and she denied it.

My mum also asked her and more denial.

 

She is a liar, but see's herself as a good christian girl. Her dad is a minister and she always made herself out to be so whiter than white.

 

The reason she broke with me initially was because I was not a kind person.

 

What a hypocrite eh!

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So she responded:

 

I did not start seeing him until after we separated.

 

I was unhappy with you for a very long time, and you know the reasons for that. Our relationship had come to an end no matter if someone came along or not.

 

I was planning to split with you for these reasons and its by coincidence I met someone else with all the qualities I was looking for.

 

I did not for one minute expect to meet someone so soon after our split and did not plan any of this.

 

Whether it be one month or 3 or 6 months after our split if I , or you, met someone else, it would have been hard for both of us.

 

I was blunt with you in my letter and e-mails making it clear it had come to an end.

 

I didn’t reply last night as I was at court most of the day and was planning to say I don’t think am in xxxxx this week but perhaps next. I was planning to speak to you face to face to tell you but as you say the cat is out of the bag

 

I am not surprised you feel the way you do. I have tried my best to be as sensitive to you as possible. I did not say before now as I did not know for definite what was happening and had not made my final decision but now I have.

 

I am moving up end of September as I have a great job opportunity. I have never planned to stay in xxxxx, as you know.

 

I do care for you no matter what you may think, and I was trying to do my best to go about things but you will obviously not see it that way.

 

I took the role of the bigger man and I wished her well for the future and told her that I hoped that she has a happy and fulfilling life.

 

Closure at last

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Thoughts on this line:

 

I met someone else with all the qualities I was looking for

 

Clearly a rebound comment. I thought she was quite stable until I read this.

 

She is moving away 200 miles to a town with someone she had known for 4 weeks. I am not talking Jerry Springer material here. She is a 29 year old Lawyer.

 

What a crazy world we live in!

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Well, it's over, no going back. Time to concentrate on you and making your life all that you want it to be. Good luck, Cat

 

Thanks!

 

Yeah, thats me totally free...

 

No more contact, no more talking about her.

 

Its done and dusted now.

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Hugs, Godwin...

 

I'm going through the same thing as well...ex started seeing this girl 2 weeks before he broke up with me. The day after he broke up with me, he professed his like for her. I'm pretty sure she's a rebound, but you never know with these things.

 

I'm starting to get over it...i'm beginning to realize that you can't make someone love you if they don't love you anymore. It's a hard and bitter pill to swallow.

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you can't make someone love you if they don't love you anymore. It's a hard and bitter pill to swallow.

 

i hate those pills, got a whole fistful of them.

 

i think its (possibly) good practice to just assume your ex is seeing someone else, that way when they finally are, you will be somewhat mentally prepared.

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Complete change in attitude from me tonight, acceptance mainly.

 

I know I will probably never see her again, at least anytime soon and I don't care.

 

Its weird though, because my flat/apartment is so quiet even though she has not been here for weeks.

 

Just need to concentrate on myself now. Get stronger and meet the 'one'.

 

Not even thinking about NC because she is seeing someone else and I have nothing at all left to say.

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