Loltastic Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I recently entered NC with my ex and told her not to contact me because it was really messing with my head... but she sent me a msn msg today asking how I was... I'm proud to say I didn't respond and just clicked the X button. But I'm feeling guilty now lol... Shes going through a lot of stress and I was her biggest support before we broke up and even when we broke up she told me she needed me to stay around because she doesn't want to lose me as a friend and she wanted me to be there for her... I feel kind of frustrated because the entire reason we broke up is because she wasn't putting anything into the relationship and I felt neglected... now I feel like because we are "friends" she gets my love and support without feeling pressured to give it back... But when I feel that I feel guilty because shes a sweet girl and a good person. Also I really dont think I want to stay friends with her... I'd rather just pretend like she doesn't exist... Its nothing specific about her, I have never been a really sociable guy and I pretend most people dont exist in my life. I feel guilty because she wants a friend to help her through the * * * * in her life... but I know she will never be seen as a friend to me, but as someone I could spend my life with and I'll always be slipping up and trying to get her back then getting depressed when she tells me she doesnt want to. I guess I just dont know how to feel... should I be angry with her for her not wanting me to move on? Or should I feel guilty for not wanting to be her friend... Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 it seems she is being selfing about your emotions and feelings. if you DONT want to be her friend, then you DONT have to be here friend, and if she doesn't like it, then it shows she is being selfish. do whats right for you. Link to comment
Jeximo Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 "I feel kind of frustrated because the entire reason we broke up is because she wasn't putting anything into the relationship and I felt neglected..." Sounds to me that she wants the same relation and closeness minus the relationship status. Forget her, chances are she'll want you back more than ever, women in general, I find, tend to want more when you limit them to less. Link to comment
Angel_baby Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 My opinion is that you are doing the right thing in going NC. You need to focus on YOU, and part of that is moving on and getting on with your life. Right now is not a good time to be friends. You two are not together anymore and she needs to accept that. Maybe later on in the future when both of you have been able to move on from this break up, maybe then you can be comfortable in being just friends. But for now, you are doing the right thing. And it isn't like you are ignoring her as you let her know about how you needed to go NC. It is hard not to feel guilty but keep reassuring yourself that this is for the better in the long run. Link to comment
Loltastic Posted July 21, 2008 Author Share Posted July 21, 2008 "I feel kind of frustrated because the entire reason we broke up is because she wasn't putting anything into the relationship and I felt neglected..." Sounds to me that she wants the same relation and closeness minus the relationship status. Forget her, chances are she'll want you back more than ever, women in general, I find, tend to want more when you limit them to less. Thats how it sounded to me too, lol, its good to know I'm not crazy. Right now is not a good time to be friends. You two are not together anymore and she needs to accept that. Maybe later on in the future when both of you have been able to move on from this break up, maybe then you can be comfortable in being just friends. Thats the thing, I'm not guilty about NC... I need that and she does too me thinks... but I dont really want to be her friend in the long run, I have no interest in it... I guess gems right, its my choice... but I'm worried that I'm being mean... I really dont want to hurt her... If I do decide that I dont want to be her friend should I just not contact her or let her know? I just want her to understand that its not her fault and I'm not trying to hurt her lol. Link to comment
Angel_baby Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Thats the thing, I'm not guilty about NC... I need that and she does too me thinks... but I dont really want to be her friend in the long run, I have no interest in it... I guess gems right, its my choice... but I'm worried that I'm being mean... I really dont want to hurt her... If I do decide that I dont want to be her friend should I just not contact her or let her know? I just want her to understand that its not her fault and I'm not trying to hurt her lol. Either way you go about it... there is going to be hurt. BUT that is why you move on and forward with life. Same goes with her. It gets better with time. You already explained to her that you were going NC, really no need to talk to her again. And you are right, she needs the NC as much as you do even if she doesn't know it yet. You are not being mean, you are getting on with your life. She must do the same. Link to comment
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