I dont think i can wait anymore to lose my virginity

[Iris-PJ]

I just feel like I'm not gonna have my hopelessly romantic life that i dreamed of but hopefully i can be more of a hopeful romantic and somehow not be stuck so much in my very messed up and painful past and in someways present.

 

there is nothing wrong with being a romantic, you just need to drop the hopeless part. love is out there the way you want it, you just have to let yourself be open to it (as cliche as that sounds). in my experience it comes out of the blue and is not what you expect at first, but in some odd way it ends up being everything you wanted...

 

Don't compromise your morals, but if you want to have sex GO FOR IT! and please don't beat yourself up over it, just make sure you prepare for it and enjoy it and be in the moment. Reflect afterwards, remember it's ok to make mistakes, it will help you grow and you will learn a lot more about yourself.

 

all the best,

-PJ

[mr me]

I do believe what u brought up because ive seen it out there. Its just for whatever reason alot of things have always seemed to slip out of my grasp. Its like i know things but im so down right now that most of the time it means nothing because im having a hard time with my reality. Im still kinda mixed up about changing my view but im just trying not to continue doing things that are still bothering me alot. I feel like more than anything its that i need to get away from the pain of my break-up and this was one of the few things that i was holding on to. I wanted to have it be with the right girl but all i can think about is my ex being that right girl so i cant really wait for that reason. Im still hoping that me making this change can at least mean that something besides the way that things were before can happen for me. I guess im just saying that something good could still happen but its not what i expected to happen or had planned.

 

At the stage im at i dont really know who i could even be with that wouldnt make me really regret it or just not go thru with it. I basically just have this problem where i cant really be close to anyone without probably telling myself that they will hurt me. So basically i stop it from gettin to that point. I guess i also see that i make alot of mistakes so i dont really see myself needing to learning from that many other things. Its just im having a really hard time trying to do something knowing that in the end it could end up being another mistake. So i guess i cant think like that but thats something im struggling with.

[Iris-PJ]

I basically just have this problem where i cant really be close to anyone without probably telling myself that they will hurt me. So basically i stop it from gettin to that point.

 

been there, recently too, but I had to stop myself... I will get hurt, I expect it, but in the meantime let me be happy... I know I am getting to close to a "friend", and maybe it will go nowhere, maybe he will be another guy I gave too much too. But I don't see it like that anymore... I give because I want to give, I share my feelings because they are real, and I believe you should never be ashamed for how you feel, even if it all blows up in your face and you get your heart broken. (had that happen too).

 

I had the dream of "giving" myself to a man I loved passionately, but he never showed up in the way I wanted to... and although I loved him, he broke my heart. I moved on and now I do not apologize for my feelings. I hurt when I have to and stop the nagging voice in my head that tries to make me worry or dwell on the negatives, the voice that told me to stay away, to not get close to this new guy, but that is not living, not in the present, that is living in the past, I hated my past, it was a horrible time for me... so I started enjoying the moments I am in knowing full well I might get hurt... but I am willing to take a chance now.

 

I hope you find clarity, peace and the change you need to heal and be happy.

 

all the best,

-pj

[Mutley]

I believe marriage is overrated too... there are so many boxes we have to check off in order to be considered "normal" and "happy", that they become more of a burden/roadblocks then symbols of human growth and prosperity. where is the individual choice??

 

If you know what you want, stick to your guns and wait it out or go for it. IMO "it is better to regret the things you do, than the things you didn't do". But we all make our own choices and have to live with them.

 

We can't keep measuring ourselves up to impossible standards... and by impossible I mean beyond our immediate reality...

 

 

 

 

"suffering is optional"

 

-pj

 

Good post.

 

I agree whole-heartedly.