Shudder Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I got this friend I know from uni. He think's he's all that cause he's got a Teaching English in Japan job right now. I'm unemployed, and over the last year have gone through a series of jobs only to have me find out that i don't enjoy them and end up quitting. So basically each time we talk he ends up asking me what I'm doing now, and cockily asks me things like how's it like to not be making $$. Just now, i checked my facebook and he left a wallposting in response to something i said (was making fun of a car crash he got into) and he said he profitted from it and again asked me in a cocky way what have I been doing for money lately. I mean yea I get it I dont have a job right now, but no need to get all 'I'm so cool I'm employed and you aren't' about it. I mean he's teaching.. and even so his time in Japan is up. I know 2 people who did this teach abroad thing and they can't find any other work other than teaching English back here in Canada. I'm so pissed that this came off as more of a rant then an actual question for advice for anything.. So yea.. any of you have friends like this?? lol Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 The next time he has that attitude why not respond "I feel fine about it but, how does it feel to be so tactless as to ask me a question like that?" Or "is that what you're going to teach your students - to ask people who are unemployed questions about their financial situation?" Link to comment
JadedStar Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 , i checked my facebook and he left a wallposting in response to something i said (was making fun of a car crash he got into) and he said he profitted from it and again asked me in a cocky way what have I been doing for money lately. Sure he sounds cocky, but maybe you should ask what you are adding to the convo as well. Surely it was not very nice to be making fun of a car crash he got into, right? It sounds to me like his comment was in direct retalition to you making fun of him. Perhaps you were saying or doing other things similar the other times he said something about your employment status. Just a thought. Link to comment
Gracelove Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Awww, LOL! I'm sure we've all run into at least one person like that. He is just feeling insecure. Otherwise he'd have no need to put you down, which is what he's doing by constantly bringing up an issue he knows is uncomfortable for you. He isn't bringing up the issue in an attempt to comfort or help you. It seems he's only doing it in an effort to make himself feel better. Which, by the way, is totally lame and immature. Just don't talk to him. What's the point. It doesn't sound like the two of you are close friends. But if by chance I'm mistaken, and you are close friends. Just tell him, "I'd appreciate it if you'd stop asking me about my unemployment situation. I don't want to talk about it with you anymore. And leave it at that." P.S. Why were you making fun of him getting into a car crash? He could be pissed about that incident, and downing you (regarding unemployment) in an effort to get back at you. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 P.S. Why were you making fun of him getting into a car crash? He could be pissed about that incident, and downing you (regarding unemployment) in an effort to get back at you. I know I would be...supportive friends only please. Link to comment
Haven Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 People generally don't insult others unless they're trying to protect their ego. You're not going to go insult a random person on the street, are you? Of course not; that person has done nothing to you. But if a friend makes a comment that you perceive as hurtful or derogatory, you might make a hurtful comment in response to that. I even know a guy who preempts comments by insulting other people first, when it's incredibly obvious that he just feels insecure in general and needs to establish his "dominance" over situations. Basically, my point is that your friend would not be insulting you unless he saw you as doing better than him in some other area. I would suggest ignoring or not responding to his comments (some people also get off on the ability to make other people react - it makes them feel powerful or in control). Link to comment
Rammspieler Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Uh... Any English speaking foreigner can get a teaching job in Japan! the demand for English teachers over there is so high that they even have "schools" on practically every street corner and all you have to do is walk into one of them with your pretentious backpack and shorts, show the owner that you can speak English and you have a job. In other words, your friend may be making green. But he's doing what every other foreigner who comes to Japan does and isn't doing anything particularly groundbreaking. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I wuold also use your anger towards a positive goal as in amp up your job search> Apparently your unemployed status also bothers you...use your anger to fuel your ambition and look even harder. If the comments are from sheer arrogance no way to dispell them better then finding employment. And i dont say that just to stick it to him..i say that because i am sure you want that for yourself as well. Link to comment
Lily04 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 . haha wow, i feel the same way. all of my friends are ph.ds or lawyers.. i'm the only one who just graduated & isn't going straight to grad school...i'm being hounded with questions but just ignoring them cuz i don't want to bother. can I suggest ignoring them? =) Link to comment
Shudder Posted July 21, 2008 Author Share Posted July 21, 2008 P.S. Why were you making fun of him getting into a car crash? He could be pissed about that incident, and downing you (regarding unemployment) in an effort to get back at you. this wasnt the first time he did it to me. he's done it to me before. the car crash was just a recent thing and he profited 700 $ from it anyway. Link to comment
Lily04 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 just cut him off. you don't need this. he's not a friend if he makes you feel bad. i have to agree with this as well. I 'cut off' one of my friends who kept asking about my accomplishments, as if to measure them to hers, without any real conversations of substance. usually friends care about the person YOU ARE, not just the trophies you have lined up in your room or number of diplomas. If you find him concerned less with your life and how you're doing than about your career status, then I would say to cut him out because your friendship is not genuine. I've done that a lot of times... when attending university you'll find a lot of 'cut throat' types, let me tell you... Link to comment
Shudder Posted July 21, 2008 Author Share Posted July 21, 2008 when attending university you'll find a lot of 'cut throat' types, let me tell you... yea tell me about it lol Link to comment
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