crushed, confused, alone

[lostcomplete]

we almost broke up, things changed, i became less selfish etc. over the last 6mnths of our relationship SHE was depressed, cold, and didnt care, eating bad, drinking all the time,rarely wanting to be intimate or even affectionate.I confronted her in april sayin Ineed someone who is affectionate,I do the same for my woman. she really didnt want to,was a chore, i HATED having to ask for it. she wanted to end it several times and then changed her mind because she wanted to make it work as did i. well it all ended a month ago, "i just cant do it anymore etc. i know i was needy, insecure, and no self esteem, and she wasnt intimate, got p**off really easily and was just too "wound about the little things" like how to load/unload a dishwasher. now shes out every weekend with her guy and girl friends, partying all the time, a COMPLETELY different person! it hurts to see shes happier without me!! NOW, i have asked several times that we give it another shot and she says NO, "whats changed in a month?" "i havent changed in a month, im still the same person" she says which leads me to believe she puts the breakup blame on me even though she admits she has issues too and that "it just wastn working out".shouldve done better and what i want out of a relationship. I have few friends but i do spend more time with them, and have thrown myself into work, working out, and spending way too much money on myself in order to feel better.... am afraid ill never be happy with a woman again as ive only had 2 long term relationships but alot of "girlfriends" when i was single...how do i cope?is it really BOTH our faults for not working out? CAN we ever get back together? she still loves me,is as open minded about us getting together again as she is about dating 1000's of people because "we never know what will happen"

[lisa1126]

It sounds like it is a better thing to call off the relationship. You two have gone down pretty low. Let her have her space and you need some space yourself. Work on being happier and better person. Focus on yourself. Do not look to your ex GF.

 

No matter how bad you feel, lonely, and confused you feel, they are normal feelings for someone going through break up. Read the posts here, people going through break up feel terrible, lonely, confused, hurt. It's painful, there is no denying it.

 

But there were reasons why this relationsip didn't work out. Don't try to force it. It will not work.

 

So, try to move on with yourself, with your life, improving yourself as a person, trying to stand up alone, emotionally. That's maturing. And you can do it. You may feel you can't, but you CAN.

 

Reading posts here really help. I encourage you to draw strength from the community of people here especially from those people who are experiencing the same pain and those who have gone through them to give you words of encoragement.

[kuhl282000]

Well just know you and I are living the same live. Your story is my story........I've been broken up now for a month and a half. I really miss mine to ......I don't think she'll ever really know the pain she caused and what I'm really feeling and what I'm currently going through .....its tough for sure.

 

I'm sure mine is out partying and dating new people now and as much as it hurts me to think that. I really do want her to find happiness even if it is not with me anymore.

All I know is, I had my doubt that maybe I was not really the one for her even if she was the one for me. Well now I know .......

 

Love will come along again, it always does. Some stay for awhile, some stay a little longer, but very few really stay forever. I had 4 and a half great years with mine and I wanted to go all the way. But in reality it was not meant to be, I'm sorry to say. I'd take mine back in a heartbeat, but we are not talking anymore. I miss my best friend dearly. I misss her in the morning when I wake up, I miss her everyday. But she has other plans and I'm not included and that hurts for sure. Somehow you have to find a way to be strong again. Each new day it gets a tiny bit better. You'll always think about her I know I will mine.