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I am so confused. I think I lost her.


atkin733

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Where do I start. I have been dating a girl for a year. I have been real stressed out about my job situation and it was interfering with our relationship. I told her I needed some time to get my job stuff sorted out.

 

Two weeks passed and I did not talk to her. I later find out that she was contacting my friends to check up on me and see how I was doing. She even added one of my friends to her myspace.

 

I sent her an email last week asking to see her. She said that she didn't feel that was appropriate and that we needed to be broken up. She said we need to "try" and move on without each other. She then sent an email asking her house key back and she will give my stuff to my friends girlfriend and that I can go pick it up.

 

I did the stupid thing and emailed her pleading to talk with me. She called "when she felt like she could talk" but I did not answer. I was really torn up.

 

Our mutual friends said to give her time and that she is hurt. I have not contacted her at all. I don't know what to do at this point. Do I just leave her alone? Do I write her a letter?

 

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

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Well, unfortunately that's the risk you run when you tell somebody you need some time. It's okay to decide that you need space from someone, but you can't expect them to "wait" for you either. I understand that you're torn up, but she also probably went through terrible heartbreak when you initially dumped her. It sounds like she's moved on. If you really care about her, let her go.

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I'm not sure how confusing your work situation could be to interfere with your relationship. I sort of feel like she should be there for you to rely on, to help you through your rough times and give you some space when you need it, but not break up.

As I've learned, don't write a letter. You pour your heart into it and sometimes that can be damaging. Sometimes you say things in a way only you understand and it confuses the situation. Give her time. She's probably really hurt and confused about the entire thing.

 

I hate this phrase, but if you love it let it go and if it comes back to you it really was meant to be yours.

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I'm not sure how confusing your work situation could be to interfere with your relationship. I sort of feel like she should be there for you to rely on, to help you through your rough times and give you some space when you need it, but not break up.

As I've learned, don't write a letter. You pour your heart into it and sometimes that can be damaging. Sometimes you say things in a way only you understand and it confuses the situation. Give her time. She's probably really hurt and confused about the entire thing.

 

I hate this phrase, but if you love it let it go and if it comes back to you it really was meant to be yours.

 

I lost my job due to a lay off. That is how confusing it was. I felt like I needed some time to get my stuff together. I did not want to drag her through it. When I felt like I could talk to her ( 2 weeks later) she said that she thought that we should be apart. I asked her to let us work on things and she said no.

 

During the two weeks apart she was calling my friends asking to check up on me. My friends tell me that she is hurt and to give her some time. They say that she loves me and will come back.She asked for her key back and she was supposed to return some things of mine. I have not seen them yet.She wanted to drop my stuff at a mutual friends house and that friend said that she did not feel comfortable with that.

 

You said not to write the letter. However, at this point I think I need to do it. It is worth more to me that I laid it on the line this last time and told her that I want her to be a part of my life. I really love this girl and it is not just a matter of having what I can't have. She is the love of my life and I made a mistake.

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Well, unfortunately that's the risk you run when you tell somebody you need some time. It's okay to decide that you need space from someone, but you can't expect them to "wait" for you either. I understand that you're torn up, but she also probably went through terrible heartbreak when you initially dumped her. It sounds like she's moved on. If you really care about her, let her go.

 

I did not dump her. I told her I needed to get my you know what together and did not want her to have to deal with it. I am sure that she was hurt and I am sorry more than you can imagine. We have dealt with some serious things during our relationship. I made a mistake. We all make mistakes sometimes. I have recognized what I have done.

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