Ms.Julia Posted July 20, 2008 Share Posted July 20, 2008 Oh god somebody help me! Where to start, I met this guy 6 months ago at a very rough time in my life. I thought I was so lucky to run into him. I was out on my own in college & I felt very isolated and alone.School was boring, I haven't made any friends,& here along comes this guy who is smart & funny. Everything started out great, we started out as friends and then we started dating.He was basically the only person that seemed like they truly loved me, I've been estranged with my family for awhile & I virtually have no one but him. It seemed like after a couple of months we started dating. He would do hurtful things, not answering his phone a lot when I called. Disappearing for days on end. Cheating on me constantly and saying it was a mistake.The sad part is, every time I try to walk away. He comes back & apologizes.. he breaks down and he says he loves me & he starts doing all these things for me. He buys me gifts and he starts trying to be a good boyfriend but he always seems to fall back into old patterns. Then he can be moody a lot & he seems to take his anger out on me. I'll call him and he'll answer with a what do you want type response. He can say very nasty things to me, saying things like I'm ugly & laugh & mock about things I may suggest that I do with myself... to improve. I already have low self esteem as it is & him telling me that he finds me unattractive really saddens me.I had acne one time & we went on a date & he literally told me he was disgusted at the bumps I had gotten on my face. He literally couldn't look at me for the whole night He tells me when I put on weight, if he doesn't like a certain hairstyle etc.. Then he'll flip & act like he loves me so much! He was there for me and concerned when my aunt died. He came over to my place one day and decided to fix me breakfast & he bought me roses just to cheer me up.. So he's not bad all of the time. Sometimes he can be really sweet & I feel like he can really love me! So last night I was at his place & he wanted to have sex. I told him that I wasn't ready & he's been patiently waiting. I've never had sex before with him. So he got very angry with me & he told me to get out. He literally kicked me out of his apartment. Feeling hurt I was trying to call him & he never answered his cell phone. So late that night around 3 am, he called to tell me that he was at a hotel with a prostitute.I got angry with him & I was so hurt and disgusted, a prostitute of all things!! He told me that he needed sex & that I wouldn't give it to him so he had to resort to a hooker. He said it so taunting and calmly, I slammed the phone down. I'm just so tired of this circle but I can't find the strength to leave him. I'm so scared of being alone again and even though he treats me like crap sometimes, I really do enjoy the times he's so nice,romantic and funny & smart. It's like I'm so desperate for love and affection that I'm willing to settle for anything.. If he leaves, I will virtually have no one again... Link to comment
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