my mum hates my boyfriend...what do i do?

[cupcakequeen]

ok so heres the story.

 

Ive known my current boyfriend for over a year but we've only been a couple for the past 8 months. We met while he was still living here in scotland but now is back in england working so we're doing long distance. the long distance things hard but thats not the issue here. Last week he came to visit me for the first time since i moved back home from university and thereforee had to meet my parents. my dad works abroad and so only met him briefly but my mum was here for the whole time. My boyfriends 26 and im 22 so age isnt really an issue. however, he does smoke and have piercings and kind of looks like the traditional "messy rocker" as i call him.

 

Im not like that at all, in fact that appearance is the exact opposite of what im like but despite this we are so much in love and i cant imagine my life without him. He is a totally amazing guy who i know would never hurt me and would do anything for me but for some reason my mum doesnt like him. After he left i asked her what she thought of him and she said she hates the fact that he smokes (which is totally hypocrytical in my book considering my dad was a smoker when they met and well into their marriage) and she thinks he could do so much more for himself appearance wise coz she hates piercings etc and she hopes that it doesnt rub off on me (which i think shows how little she thinks of me - as if im that easily swayed into behaving a certain way). She also said he certainly wasnt trying to impress them (meaning her and my dad)She doesnt seem to be able to look past the superficial and I think shes only basing her decision on that. She also said that if hes good to me then thats fine but i can tell she doesnt like him as shes been in a mood and hasnt mentioned anything about him since (she used to ask me how he was etc). I assume that its his appearance and the smoking coz i cant think of anything else that would make her think that way. I know i shouldnt bother with it but im really really really close with my mum and it bothers me that not only does she not like him but that shes so close minded that she cant look past his appearance and see that hes an amazing guy who makes me happy....sure the distance thing is hard but its only for the next few months. I dont know what to do about it, please help!

 

(sorry its a bit long winded)

 

x

[Supa_gurl]

I noticed no one has responded thus far, and I hate it when no one responds to my thread. So I will offer my little advice:

 

 

I understand the closeness to your mother and how you seek her approval. However, with your boyfriend, I think that all that should matter is how he make you feel. In time, when your mother sees how happy you are, and how he treats you, she will come around.

 

I grew up with a close minded grandmother, who 13 years ago when I got my first tattoo said "how can you mutilate your body like that?" and then 12 years later I got my second tattoo and she said "let me see it! Oh my that is so pretty". So people change there is hope.