Lied about my virginity to make myself more attractive.

[Lowconfidence]

This thread is aimed at the older male posters who think being a virgin makes themselves less attractive to the opposite sex.

 

IMO, girls are not attracted to virgins. If you are a male in his mid 20s or older, LIE about your virginity!

 

I lost my virginity in my later 20s. But all the women I went out with prior who had interest in me were repelled to find out I had never gone out with anyone let alone had sex. No one could understand that I was shy and waiting for the right person.

 

Finally I was fed up and just straight out lied to a female about my experience. I lied about being in previous relationships and having sex. She actually thought I was experienced with the way I acted( I really pulled it off) and was attracted to me. She took my virginity(and she was way younger than me at the time!).

 

My point is male virgins should lie about their sexual experience if they are from their mid 20s and older. It's a female repellant to say you are a virgin at that late stage of your life.

[Cognitive_Canine]

That seems like a horrible idea. I would feel so betrayed to find out that they were lying to me about it. Maybe I'm just weird.

[dragon lady]

I think it just depends on the situation. If you're an older virgin and really want to have sex, but haven't for whatever reason and you don't care about who it is with, then this is probably a good way to go. However, if you are looking for a relationship, then dishonesty is going to damage it.

[lila...]

Um...not EVERY girl is repelled by it. It totally depends on the guy and his reasons. In fact for me it would be a total turn on if his reason was that he was waiting for the right person. You don't meet a lot of guys like those these days. If a girl is repelled by it then you shouldn't want to be with her anyway.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I for one would love to be with a virgin since I am one too and I value that.

[Raiden]

I see nothing to be gained about lying about whether you have previously had sex or not than a lot of humiliation if not a lot of hurt; for both you and your date.

[Jetta]

Um, I don't recommend this at all. My 2nd husband was a virgin when we met. It didn't repel me. I was happy to know he was out gallavanting. When we finally did have sex it was obvious it was his first time but things improved. So said girl either thinks you're not so no good in bed or knows that you were a virgin now.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I don't think it is a good idea to lie because in the end you cheat yourself. If someone doesn't want to be with a virgin then that person is the one with the issues, not the virgin. I have, however, noticed, in my discussions with women over the years, is that many of them want an experienced man...but then again, the women who told me that were nothing to write home about anyway so it would have been no great loss!

[Lowconfidence]

Are you one of these people who are, or have been prone to lying about your salary, social network, what car you drive, what countries you've visited, and so on? I'm not trying to be funny, I'm just curious.

 

 

Although I lied about my virginity and dating experiences at the time, I don't lie to others about my wealth(or lack of), my ambitions, or exaggerate about how fun and crazy my life is.

 

It wasn't something that I was proud of but in my experience being an older virgin is very unattractive towards the opposite sex.

[Luke Skywalker]

There is no cut and dry rules with that. I just told a 50 year old woman I was a virgin (and I'm 32 years old) to see if she would lose interest (wasn't that attracted to her so I was reckless with disclosures like that), and she still stook to me and said that we should spend more time together and we could work that out, despite it being a major hurdle. So, I think that if someone really enjoys your company and feels good around you, that this shouldn't be a deal-breaker, or it was never meant to be.

[Cognitive_Canine]

There is no cut and dry rules with that. I just told a 50 year old woman I was a virgin (and I'm 32 years old) to see if she would lose interest (wasn't that attracted to her so I was reckless with disclosures like that), and she still stook to me and said that we should spend more time together and we could work that out, despite it being a major hurdle. So, I think that if someone really enjoys your company and feels good around you, that this shouldn't be a deal-breaker, or it was never meant to be.

 

Yeah, tru dat.

 

Personally, I don't know any girls who find virgins as turn offs. Well, I do know one person.....but we aren't friends >_>

 

I think the best thing to do is to not mention your sexual experience until they ask, which probably won't be until a little bit into the relationship. By then they should like you well enough that it won't be a deal breaker.

[bijoux27]

Why would it repel a woman :S. I'd be so happy to know that he has a clean past.

[orangesoda]

in all honesty, from my own personal experience, the average, attractive, young woman (and i've dated my share), would find a virgin guy, especially one in is mid to later 20's or older, a turn-off.

 

yes, in public, in a group discussion, they'll talk about how special that is, how it's cool that he's 'saving' himself for the right girl.

 

but in private (and i've actually overheard this once, during a camping trip), girls will talk about how he might have a problem, or possibly has some loser qualities (their words) that have kept him from getting laid for all these years.

 

that's great if you want to keep your virginity for the right reasons - but in the real world, i don't think it makes you more attractive to women at all - maybe a curiosity at best. but it *can* hurt you, don't be naive in buying the whole 'white knight, princess' storylines.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I actually am nervous about this guy that I may be dating soon because he is experienced...very experienced..

 

 

I worry that he'll pressure me into doing something and then end up giving me something....>_>

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yep, and I bet many of these women fall for the REAL losers..the ones who just want to get laid and play mind games..but I guess that is more manly to them! That was exactly my point, the loser women will find it a turnoff if the man is a virgin, just like the loser men will find it a turnoff if the woman is a virgin.

[Luke Skywalker]

yes, in public, in a group discussion, they'll talk about how special that is, how it's cool that he's 'saving' himself for the right girl.

 

but in private (and i've actually overheard this once, during a camping trip), girls will talk about how he might have a problem, or possibly has some loser qualities (their words) that have kept him from getting laid for all these years.

 

But it does command attention, and to the attention hungry negative attention is just as good as positive attention because you are getting attention. People are talking about you.

 

Now, the other question would be, is it better disclosing that you are a virgin, or that you were abducted by a UFO and have an alien chip inserted somewhere in your arm as an attention grabber, or that you were raped while you were in jail and are suing the government? (the last two don't apply to me, just for illustration)

Which would command more attention?

[Luke Skywalker]

Although I lied about my virginity and dating experiences at the time, I don't lie to others about my wealth(or lack of), my ambitions, or exaggerate about how fun and crazy my life is.

 

It wasn't something that I was proud of but in my experience being an older virgin is very unattractive towards the opposite sex.

 

But you still had to pretend you were someone else in order to get laid. The woman didn't like or accept you for you. You have an alias of "Lowconfidence", this indicates a problem to me.

 

For the record, I've put in ads on adult sites claiming I am a virgin looking for a pity-lay two years ago, and believe it or not, people were interested in seeing me -- it wasn't easy, but it did gain momentum. I'd rather have a hook-up with someone who believes I'm a virgin and wants to rescue me from my involuntary celibacy because she finds I'm cute and there is a nice connection, and she begins to see a diamond in the rough, than having to lie like that.

 

This proves to me, if you put your mind to it and really want something, sometimes it will happen and you don't have to lie about it. However, I think there is allot of attention fuel about this virgin thing, and I like the attention on it, people guessing if I'm lying and trying to get a mercy lay, if I'm just crazy, or just why - creates a sense of mystery.

[TBE_1989]

That seems like a horrible idea. I would feel so betrayed to find out that they were lying to me about it. Maybe I'm just weird.

 

No, I feel the same. Apologies for taking such a simplistic view, but lying in relationships isn't good, and rarely ''works'' in the long run.

[Ftheworld]

I lie too. I've only slept with 2 girls in my life but if/when a conversation comes up, I always lie and say I had 10 or so. : / For a guy, it's embarrassing to have had only 2 women at 25. And 1 of them was a one night stand last year. I'm such a loserrrrrrrr

[bijoux27]

in all honesty, from my own personal experience, the average, attractive, young woman (and i've dated my share), would find a virgin guy, especially one in is mid to later 20's or older, a turn-off.

 

Why would you want a woman who thinks that way?? Lame.

[McLovin oo7]

Why would it repel a woman :S. I'd be so happy to know that he has a clean past.

 

Yup, why would a woman do that. It does not make any sense to me? I would definitely not want to be with someone who is a liar.

 

 

But then we all are different.

[iwishiknew]

I am a 30 year old virgin and if a girl asked me if I was a virgin I would say yes, I don't think I could lie

[orangesoda]

honestly, i don't think i've ever asked a girl i dated if she cared if a guy was a virgin or not. i was just telling the OP my opinion from my own experiences.

 

if i had to pick one factor in all of this, i'd go with mostly physical looks. if you're a brad pitt/johnny depp look-alike and you tell your date that you're a virgin because you believe in only being with 'the one' and you want to save yourself for marriage, etc. i'm pretty sure they'll fawn over you and tell you what a great guy you are.

 

but...if you look like neuman from seinfeld (ie you're not very good looking) and you do the same, i'm sure women would publicly say that's cool, but in private, probably hold it as a negative against you.

 

Why would you want a woman who thinks that way?? Lame.

[Carmine]

A lot of the women on this board are different from the majority of women, at least in this one aspect. I've heard time and time again from girls that they do NOT want a virgin. Some of these girls have low character, but others are perfectly fine, they simply want a guy with experience, and understandably. IMO, it's not hard for a guy to learn what to do after his first or second time, so I still think they should give a virgin a chance before they automatically rule him out.

[StrawberryYogurt]

if I had to pick one factor in all of this, i'd go with mostly physical looks. if you're a brad pitt/johnny depp look-alike and you tell your date that you're a virgin because you believe in only being with 'the one' and you want to save yourself for marriage, etc. i'm pretty sure they'll fawn over you and tell you what a great guy you are.

 

I agree. Not to brag or anything, but I'm fairly decent looking and have a lot going for myself, no actor or anything though. I'm saving myself and when I told my G/F when we were first dating that I was saving myself, she loved it. Course she's saving too and I kinda knew that as well. I noticed on previous dates and interactions, the few girls I told loved it as well, didn't work out due to other incompatibilities.

 

So it can be looked as a good thing depending on how much you bring to the table and your reasoning for waiting. I admit, it was easier for someone like me to be upfront b/c I'm proud of waiting.