Jump to content

please, please help! (guys i need your input)


Recommended Posts

So I have read tons of other stuff on the site that relates to my problem... but I still need to ask it, because I still don't know what to do.


I have been dating my boyfriend for a month now. He was a virgin, so maybe some of it was performance anxiety. But we have had sex multiple times since, and I have given him many bjs. But he has never come


I know that i just need to enjoy it and not worry about the end result, and that it still feels good for him, so on so on. But now I am seriously starting to worry that I'm not adequate or that he's not happy. I have never felt so close to someone so quickly and I care about him so much. but if this keeps up I feel like it will ruin the relationship or that he will look some where else.


Please what do I do? I know it shouldn't be about time... but how long does it take for some guys? He will be really hard one second, and the next not so much the next. What is going on?? I've tried all the tips on this site and nothing can get him off.


Sorry this is so long.... any help/advice would be greatly greatly appreciated!

Link to comment

well my ex took about a minute or two --lol-- but my bf now takes FOREVER!


(Side note: I know you boys think that marathon sex is what every girl is after, but seriously, foreplay aside, having sex for more than a half hour is just not as fun as you think it is.)


I get frustrated sometimes, too, and I think it's because of me that he won't come. I've brought it up several times and he told me it was just how he is, and has nothing to do with me. He said his ex girlfriend actually CRIED a few times because she thought that he didn't like her because of this same thing.


I just have to be patient with him, and ask him what will get him off the best, and then keep at it. I know it gets a little tiring, especially if you're giving him oral, but if you really want to make him get there you have to be patient!


And I agree that he probably still has performance anxiety. A month is a pretty short amount of time, so he probably hasn't gotten over trying really hard to impress you yet. And that would make any guy go limp!

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

hmmm... i try and hold back, because i want her to get hers. Thats just important to me i could always finish myself off later. but sometimes she'll help me cum after shes done. it felt insanely great the whole way through, but either i was holding back, or i was "desensitized" by prior masturbation

Link to comment

I was a virgin until I met my current SO. It took me a while to cum from us having sex. It was just lack of knowing what to do, it felt like I was putting in too much energy into the wrong parts of my body if that makes sense. After a while I would come every now and then and after a few months it was every time...good times

Link to comment
. It was just lack of knowing what to do, it felt like I was putting in too much energy into the wrong parts of my body if that makes sense. After a while I would come every now and then and after a few months it was every time...good times


what positions made it easier for you? is there a certain way thats better than others?

Link to comment

Maybe its a control issue. If he can get off just fine by himself, maybe there's a certain way he's used to having it done. The short answer is to ask him how he likes it. clearly, this only works on bj/hjs. Also, you may wantto try thinner condoms. They even make thin magnums now, if he falls into that category. (i seriously almost yelled out loud at the store the day I found them, haha)


Lastly, try not to make it that much of an issue. If all he's thinking about is climaxing, he's not going to get there. See what you can do to draw out foreplay to try to get his mind off of it. Id like to think of it like this: Most women i know, and have been with like alot of foreplay before i go down there. Its only when they started taking cues from me that i started to see how a little bit more teasing can make everything else better.


Let me know if im not being 100% clear.



Link to comment

from a guys perspective...

I've had more than a few sexual partners in my life of 28yrs ..

All eventually making the venture down stairs on me only to come up with

a sore jaw and confusion...


I'm a guy who enjoys oral but has yet to meet a girl who can ... "git'er dun" to put it bluntly


I ponder techniques, time, and even the addition of food products but I don't really think it would hlp.. it's just never happened that way for me....


sometimes I even wonder if "the one" could unlock the secret kinda like King author pulling the sword in the stone

Link to comment

Does he get off when he masturbates? Have you asked him? He could finish himself off, if he's comfortable doing that in front of you.


I dated a guy like that once and it is really frustrating. I researched it a bit and found a lot of experts saying it's a trust/control issue. But who knows.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...