suzie q Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 my story in short: my ex and i were together for 9 months, but knew each other for a looong time and were close friends for about a year and a half before we officially started dating. he bought a house in june and asked me to live with him. we get along great, of course we argue because we're human, but we were never hurtful. his ex recently moved back to the area from germany. her husband is in iraq and will be back in august. he told me that he needed some space, so i freaked and didn't understand why or where it was coming from. after a little over a week, he asked me to come over and started acting like nothing happened. i brought up the situation and finally got out of him that he wasn't sure he was over his ex. he told me that it wasn't fair for me to wait around because he is so confused and has no idea what he wants right now, so we broke up. we still at this point hadn't said/done anything to be hurtful to one another. he told me i could stay at the house for the night with him, but i told him i was going to leave--we hugged and said we loved each other and that was it. i found out that he had a party at his house a few weekends ago and his ex was there. i was devastated. my friend told me that she loves her husband, blah blah blah. my ex's sisters and i are really good friends and one of them told me she heard him talking to her at dinner one night with the family and he got off the phone and told everyone they were strictly friends and she is happily married and when her husband comes back, they are getting a house. i started NC 12 days ago. he bought me tickets to a concert next weekend for my birthday before we broke up and told my brother yesterday that he put them with my mail and has just been waiting for me to come pick up my mail. he told me i had mail about 2 weeks ago, but i haven't really been able to get out there. right now, i'm feeling a little bad. i feel like because i haven't contacted him and am now accepting this gift from him that he will feel like i just want the tickets when i go get my mail. i still have a key to his house, he hasn't asked for it back and i still have some things there that i was supposed to get, but then initiated NC. does anyone feel like i should explain to him why i am not talking to him? should i tell him that i am not mad at him (which i'm not), but that i want him to have the space and time he needs to sort through his feelings? i don't want him to feel bad because this break up was not a bitter one and we have a really strong friendship that i don't want to lose altogether. i do really believe in my heart that he and i will get back together eventually. i feel like his life was interrupted by his ex and confused him, but she was his first love and he never got closure. he never really allowed himself to get over the relationship because it hurt him so bad. she cheated on him a lot and really broke his heart. i am in really good spirits and have been for the past few days. i don't hate his ex and i certainly don't hate him. sometimes i worry that something more is going on, but when i think about it rationally and take out the jealousy, i know that he wouldn't mess with a married woman. his family was affected by cheating--his dad had an affair on his mom and he saw what she went through, so i know in my heart that he wouldn't put someone else through that. my jealousy does get the better of me sometimes, though, i must admit. well, that was a long winded post, but i suppose i want to know what people think about the NC and if i should tell him why i'm doing it or just keep at what i'm doing. i'd also like to hear some outsider input on my story--just to see what you all think about what i'm going through and the relationship itself. Link to comment
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