Sending This Tomorrow

[civilservant]

First off before I start this, I know people are going to say consider what you want out of this, but the honest answer is nothing, because it's not going to include a name or anything (although she'll know it's come from me) and she has no way of contacting me anymore because I've changed my number and she never knew where I lived anyway.

 

So the following is going in the post to the ex today, simply as a way of closing things for more and saying what I need to say. As I say I don't expect a response, don't need a response, and won't get one.

 

All I want to ask is people opinions on the following poem, if it gets the message accross and reads ok. I have posted the original, without the previous text, in poetry already but it seems people visit this section far more frequently and are more ready to offer opinions.

 

So here goes:

 

Because of you,

The joy of life is renewed,

Because of you,

My faith in the human race was proved,

Because of you,

I see the better side of me,

Beause of you,

A better person is going to be,

Thank you for being who you are,

Thank you for being such a star,

 

Because of you,

I sought the help I needed,

Because of you,

That advice I heeded,

Because of you,

Every day is a dawn,

Because of you,

A better way is born,

Thank you so much for all these things,

Thank you for the joy it brings,

 

These words I've wrote I've started many times,

Perhaps this atones for some of my crimes,

I wish I could say some words to heal,

But because of you, I can't make that deal,

So all I can say now to come to a end.

Is goodbye, god bless, and post this to send,

I want you to know that all this is true,

And thank you so much for being you.

 

So there we have it. Opinions anyone?

 

Thanks in advance.

[mca1975]

That is a lovely poem! Are you sure you should send, who ended the relationship? Its better to send something like this poem, than a straight letter saying how you feel tho.

[civilservant]

It was kind of a mutual decision, and we've now been NC for 3 months. I feel now is the right time to send this though.

[Karmageddon]

That's really very nice.

 

One question though

 

she never knew where I lived anyway.

 

[civilservant]

I live in a shared house, so we nearly always spent the night at hers as mine was always full. She knows where it is, but not the full address.

[isilv3r]

I think its a great poem...very well written. A lot of people write poems and say mean things because they are hurt but I think anyone who has a warm heart would appreciate this poem. I'd go ahead and send it. However, don't be disappointed if she doesn't respond, that's something we always expect and sometimes don't get which tends to cause the hurt to return.

[civilservant]

I think its a great poem...very well written. A lot of people write poems and say mean things because they are hurt but I think anyone who has a warm heart would appreciate this poem. I'd go ahead and send it. However, don't be disappointed if she doesn't respond, that's something we always expect and sometimes don't get which tends to cause the hurt to return.

 

Thanks for your comments

 

It should be noted that I've wrote plenty of them aswell, as you can see in my signiture some of the others I have posted on poemhunter. I hear what you say about the response, but as I said before I don't expect a response, and in many ways she can't.

 

Thanks again, however, for your kind words

[heartbroken9]

That was a very good poem. I dont think its a bad idea to send it to your ex. Its shown how strong you've become. Its not a mean poem either, its not like your writing awful things about her, your simply stating how you feel and how far you've come since the break up. Its classy. =)

[civilservant]

Thanks heartbroken, appreciated

 

Anymore opinions before I go ahead and send this?

[chocolate-cake]

I think its a nice poem but if i got this from my ex i would think hes after me or after me to contact cos he took the time to WRITE IT, BUY A STAMP AND POST IT!

[civilservant]

I think its a nice poem but if i got this from my ex i would think hes after me or after me to contact cos he took the time to WRITE IT, BUY A STAMP AND POST IT!

 

Well there isn't an ulteriour motive here, so she's free to think what she wants. I think the fact it says GOODBYE kind of speaks for itself.

[soulalone]

I think that it's a wonderful poem. It's so sincere. In my opinion, I would not send it. There was a reason that you broke up by mutual agreement, and that was probably because you both had to grow individually and not together.

 

You have come a long way, and honestly the ex doesn't have to know how much you have grown.

 

Well done to you, you are living YOUR OWN life. Keep it up.

 

Don't send it, you have grown from within yourself...you certainly don't have to prove it on paper by sending that poem.

[thejigsup]

I don't generally believe in sending exes anything written, but this is the exception. It is a beautiful poem and she will most likely be nothing but touched.

[Clarity]

I'm going to go against the crowd here and not recommend that you send it - there's too much potential damage to cause.

 

It's a lovely poem, no doubt, but what will it accomplish? You say you want nothing - well *nothing* is the last thing it will accomplish. Whatever emotions she has been feeling towards the relationship in the past 3 months, be it anger, hurt, missing you, wanting you back, hating you, or, mostly likely, all of the above - are only going to be amplified by this. If you guys are both truly not looking to get back together, this will only set back some of the wound healing that has been going on. I hate to sound harsh, but if you don't want to get back together with her, it would be selfish to send this poem, IMHO, as strange as that may seem - it's not considerate of what kind of emotional reaction it would invoke in her.

 

I would only consider sending it if:

1) you want her back (in this case, the emotional reaction is at least a motive of yours) or,

2) you are 100% she doesn't want you back at all (she'll be able to handle it since she isn't emotionally attached to you anymore)

 

Just for example, in my situation, my ex dumped me over a year ago, but I'm pretty sure she wants me back if I would take her back - but I've moved on. If she sent me something like that, fine, I could handle it since I know I don't want her back - but for me to send her something like that would be mean and selfish - I'd be toying with her emotions.

[Godwin]

Dont send it

 

As good as it is, it achieves NOTHING!

[arcadefire]

I also believe that this achieves nothing. She might take it the wrong way and believe that you are playing with her emotions, like you want her back. This could be taken many ways and there is potential that it would be taken the opposite of what you intend. I personally don't think three months is long enough to break NC just to send a goodbye poem when it might be read as a "I'm still thinking fondly of you" type of thing that people might send if they want their exes back. Just beware of the consequences!

[civilservant]

I acknoledge and respect you opinions guys, and I understand what you're saying, but really all I want is to tell her that she's done alot for me, and to completley leave it at that. Is this really such a terrible thing?

 

The simple fact is I DO think fondly of her, and perhaps always will, but isn't that the whole point of the poem? Dosen't it say that? I don't want her back, now or ever!

[arcadefire]

I agree that the poem is wonderful. It might be best, though, to send it after some more time has passed. Perhaps this Christmas? That's just my two cents. That way it might not sound like you want her back.

[Godwin]

I acknoledge and respect you opinions guys, and I understand what you're saying, but really all I want is to tell her that she's done alot for me, and to completley leave it at that. Is this really such a terrible thing?

 

The simple fact is I DO think fondly of her, and perhaps always will, but isn't that the whole point of the poem? Dosen't it say that? I don't want her back, now or ever!

 

She may see it as trying to manipulate her into feeling sorry for you?

 

At the end of the day though, you have NOTHING to lose.

[Clarity]

She may see it as trying to manipulate her into feeling sorry for you?

 

At the end of the day though, you have NOTHING to lose.

 

Unless he cares about the way *she* feels...

[civilservant]

Again, I can see where you are all coming from, and I'm still on the fence which perhaps is telling me I shouldn't send it. Can I ask the women of the group, if you received this what would you think?

[civilservant]

Opinions ladies?

[audrey28]

if, like u said, u have no agenda, then do not send it. if u needed to write it to get past the break up, well and good. then post it where you want to, but DO NOT SEND IT TO HER.

 

the very fact that you want to send it to her means you are still wanting to make a connection and unwilling to move on, not completely anyway. this is entirely normal. but if u really want to move on, u have to accept that u cannot do what u want to get that "fix". if u really want to move on, then u deal with how awful it is, make progress day by day, and believe that u will move on.

 

sending it will achieve nothing good for you if your purpose is to move on. bid your hopes and dreams of being with the ex goodbye. it is difficult and sorrowful but it must be done.

[civilservant]

Well I said it, no response at first, then bombarded with hints and messages through friends. Hoever ive stuck to my own plan and not responded to her advances. I have to say that I'm so glad that I sent this, because it has given closure that I needed.

 

I'm due to go to a goodbye meal with my team next month and she'll be there. I am quite comfertable with that and will have a civil pleasant evening. If words are said, it won't be on my end!