Should I quit grad school?

[SchecterGuy]

SO let me give you a rundown of the last year or so. Last summer I develop a bad relationship with my boss (I no longer work for her) over something I had no control over. The people I supported were not doing their jobs. A couple of months later my gf and I of 5.5 years break up. This is about the same time I start my MBA program. A couple of months later I start talking to a girl who disses me and hooks up with a guy at a party we went to. A few months later I realize how crazy my roomate is. Thread on that here:

I try to reconcile with my gf realizing how wrong I was and her rejection sends me into a really bad state of mind. For the next month I have to live with a roomate that hates me. So I basically lost all my support base, although I am moving in with someone who has a very strong social base. I am moving in with someone who is a really good person and we are friends, but I feel I have little in the way of social contact. My ex was basically my social life. And even though I made attempts to increase my social life after my breakup, they kind of fell short. I just feel like for the longest nothing has gone right and I am just trying to pick up the pieces of my life and maintain a calm demeanor. I do not think all the added stress of school is helping me. I am to the point right now where I can come home and relax, but my moods are still very up and down. I really do not have the motivation for school. My parents are not exactly happy with my thoughts. I feel without getting my personal life in order, I will never be happy. And I am not getting any younger.

[DLtoken]

Whatever you do, don't quite school. On the bright side of things, without all of these social distractions, you have more time to focus on your studies. Keep plugging away and take care of your future... The rest will fall into place.

[SchecterGuy]

My thoughts are though if I am not personally happy, I will never be happy professionally. The extra money will not make me happy. I just feel the stress will be detrimental to me picking my life back up. So many bad things have happened in my life in the last year and I am trying to grab at straws trying to get a shred of happiness. It seems like nothing I do works out. All the extra stress does not help and just makes me more depressed. Plus I cannot even concentrate anyway.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If you give up on school it will only make things worse because you will have lost it all. Why not cling to school as your shred of something going RIGHT and build your life from there. What would you do if you quite school...get some dead end job...that certainly won't make you happy. You need to put everything else that has gone wrong on the back burner and focus really hard on making your schooling work for you. If you keep quitting and giving up on every single thing then you will spiral down even further. You need to start thinking about future goals rather than wallowing in the past which you have no control over. Focus on your future plans and forget about everything else...because if you continue to wallow in despair and misery and say woe is me, you won't get out of this rut.

[SchecterGuy]

If this was college then it would be a different story. I already have a bachelors degree in finance. I am not worried my life will be bad professionally. I know very few people with MBA's.

 

And actually I am trying to make changes in my life. School has never been exceptionally difficult for me. At least college was not. MBA is a little different. I work full time and go to school. I never have time to relax and ease stress. When I am not at work I am reading textbooks, when I am not doing that I am doing projects, when I am not doing that I am studying for tests. And all are stressors. I have no time to relieve my stress and take time for me. I have always had trouble in my personal life. For the longest my personal life was fine when I was with the ex. I had everything I needed. I am trying to change in the sense of my personal life.

 

I have always looked for a balance in personal and professional life. My uncle is an EXTREMELY successful medical doctor/researcher/professor. His personal life is terrible. He made career his life and never took the time for his personal life. He has told me he is not exceptionally happy. The idea I have in my mind is my professional life is fine. The MBA would be the icing on the cake, but I will survive. If I do not get stability in my personal life then I will just be an empty shell.

[Whiskers]

If you don't mind me saying, I think you are putting an awful lot on yourself. I think you have already decided you don't really want to do more study and the fact that you don't have a social life and a girlfriend all because of your lack of time and what not...but I think also that you are wrong.

Okay, so time is taken up for studying, but once it's over, it's under your belt and there if you want to use it - if you don't do it now that you have the opportunity, you may come to regret it. Not just for money and career but personal development and challenge...not to mention having something to occupy your time that without, might not do any more than free up time you wish you hadn't.

As for making friends and increasing your social life, there is always time for it...and there are other ways. You need to move on from your ex (which I don't think you are entirely) and possibly the better way for you to do that, would be to volunteer somewhere...join a group or take a class or two at the gym.

You'd be surprised how relaxed you feel after only a hour of socialising even when it's simply a gym class. What I think you're lacking is people, comfort and a support network and it's making you doubt your choices.

I don't know what happened with your ex but maybe taking a cooking class...or something random, will put you right in the line of new people and a couple of hours of complete self time - it's rewarding.

XXXX

Think about it.

Want to chat, just message.

[SchecterGuy]

I know I shouldn't, but it is so hard to get motivated now. Last night I was going to work on a project. I didn't. But I felt happy. I was calm and relaxed just sitting in front of the TV. I felt good. I felt relaxed and at peace.

 

I wouldn't say my social life is totally a lost cause. But I worry a lot. A few of weeks ago I tagged along to a roomate's coworker's party. A couple of week's later a girl at the party told my roomate to invite me to her b-day party (she is not date material). Next week I am going out with him and his coworkers to a going away dinner. And the guy I am about to room with is real social, but he said something that I really relate to. He said you could have 10 billion friends/aquaintances. In the end they mean little. you just have to have a couple of close friends to be there for you. My problem is I have trouble making good friends. I can easily make aquaintances, but not close friends. And frankly that is all I need. I am in the mindstate that if I want to meet another girl I need an entourage so I meet as many girls as possible to make up for the lack of numbers and social situations of college. I am just at odds with myself as to what I need in life and how to accomplish things. The anxiety is making things difficult.

 

And whiskers I may take your offer on that.

[Wolf_22]

Hey man. I'm with ya there. I've gone through hell and back for the past year and a half. Hell, I'm betting you've seen some of my threads...

 

Anyway - on to you - DO NOT QUIT!

 

Okay? Let me say it again - DO NOT QUIT! First of all, it's time for you to get passed the gal. It's hard, and it's a sucky hand to be dealt, but it's on you and that's the way it is. You have to realize that what you guys had is completely over with. Start NC if you haven't yet, get over to your school's counseling center and get some sessions lined up because that will be your new support base.

 

You need to find that spark again; the one "ah ha" moment where the tides come crashing in and the wave of enlightenment and emotional decompression unfolds into something spectacular called "progression".

 

It's up to you man. We create our own lives and I believe you have the intellect to get it back together. Maybe some big moves or changes are required for you to move past all this, but whatever the case, get over to your counseling center. It will help.

[SchecterGuy]

I know it sounds bad, but I am going on hiatus. I have not been able to concentrate on my classes well enough to even do well. I figure I will cancel this summer course then see how my life goes and see if I want to go back. I have a year under my belt so it won't be too long to finish.

 

My anxiety is rpeventing me from being successul.

[rikka]

Hey SchecterGuy, I did it. After 3 years of grad school I withdrew from my studies. I was miserable, I had an awful relationship with my supervisor, I was very unstable with my bipolar disorder, and I was not happy with the direction my life was going. I had no desire to stay in my field of research and felt that I was just wasting time and money.

 

The day I sent in my letter a HUGE weight was lifted off me and I was actually happy for the first time in a long time. My family noticed the change in me instantly. I was lucky, my parents, mentor and therapist all strongly supported my decision. I have yet to have a moment of regret regarding my decision (and it has been close to 18 months since I withdrew). Perhaps later in my life I will regret it - but I honestly don't think so. I learned a lot of things (both about myself and skills) and no one can take away that from me.

 

I don't know you, nor can I make a decision for you - you know what is best for me. I followed the path that was the best for me. I wish you luck with whatever you choose.