Am i to blame?

[Twistedwhispers]

Im feeling pretty bad right now, if you read my previous post u will understand my situation abit better. i sent my ex an email just saying how i know what ive done wrong and if we could try again i know things could be different. i feel so guilty about all my mistakes. hes just ignoring me though and it hurts me so much. all his stuff is out at our house and he hasnt even contacted me about that. I miss him so much and i hate that im going through this all again, i wish he would phone me and talk. i know that its over for good coz hes never ignored me like this before, hes acting like i dont exist and that hurts so much coz i believed he really loved me

any1 got any advice for me? am i really to blame for everything?

[bellanicola003]

Hi, I really don't know your situation and what you've done to cause the breakup, but I believe that some people can just reach a point. This doesn't mean that they can't find their way back. You see...I'm a believer of love conquers all, although my current situation can seriously change that idea I hold. But...don't be upset if he's not contacting you...saying you're sorry is a good idea if you were wrong, but if he doesn't want to talk, then you have no choice, but to leave it at that. Don't let your guilt keep you contacting him - people eat that up and won't contact you at all if that happens.

 

Take some time for yourself and work on what YOU can do to become a better person. Don't even do it for him...do it for yourself...in the end, you will be happier. Remember...you can't make anyone happy unless you're happy yourself! Good Luck!

 

PS. Thanks for your response to my posting as well.

[Twistedwhispers]

hey,

thanks for my post. here is my earlier post

i cant help myself from contacting him, it hurts so much that hes ignoring me like this. i just dont know what to do with myself. all his things are at our house and i dunno what to do with them.

ive left voicemails, texted him but he still wont reply. i just wish he would send me at least one text. i know ive made a fool out of myself as last time i chased him i ran out after him and wouldnt move out of the way of the car.

I miss him so much, i hate this pain.

are u ok?

[DN]

OK - calm down and start to think more rationally than emotionally. I read your previous post and all this is very recent - over the last couple days. So emotions are running high from both of you and that is not a good way to be dealing with this.

 

First of all - stop contacting him for now. In a couple of days (and I know it will be hard to wait) then contact him and ask to talk about how to get this relationship fixed so all of you are happy - and the way to do that is to find a good counsellor. One who will not take sides but who will help you sort things out.

 

If he contacts you - then you can say the same thing but give him a chance to calm down first.

[Karmageddon]

How much stuff are we talking about? If you can, I would pack it up and put it out of sight. Just for me having daily reminders around was a big bummer, so I took down the pictures, boxed up the clothes and packed it away. The rest is just time.

[Twistedwhispers]

thanks for the reply, it helped me abit, thats what i was thinking about packing his stuff away in a cupboard, im going back to my house tonight and im going to do it then. my brothers girlfriend and my niece is going to stay at the house with me tonight so i wont be alone. dunno if i have said, but ive been staying with my parents the past two nights. i feel like im going insane i keep checking my phone, emails,facebook, i just dont know what to do with myself. i know ive gotta be stong for my little boy but its so hard.

 

what im scared of is not contacting him for a couple of days and in that time when i do contact him hes still not going to want to know and hes going to realise that hes better of without me and that kills me. i dont think he wants to be with me coz he hasnt contacted me and hes never done this before. im scared coz i think his family have poisoned his mind against me, im really not the bad person they are making me out to be.

im sort of blaming myself for everything even though hes done wrong too, and im scared that ive had a good thing and ive ruined it. am i to blame for it all? i should have been different, but im only human, at least i realise my mistakes now, hes not taking responsibility for anything.

i feel sad for my son, he loved my ex too bits, he even called him dad, its not fair on him.

[Karmageddon]

Well the old saying is that it takes two to tango. So if he is not willing to sweep up his side of the street, then you really need to start taking the first steps to moving on. Stay away from the drama, he'll just think your crazy. Stop the phone calls, texts and emails, it will just reinforce that he thinks you are crazy and has made the right decision. Spend time with friends & work on you for the sake of you and your child. Its hard now but it will get easier. Your son will be ok, he is still young & you need this time to work on you so you can have a man in your life that is good for you and your child.

[Twistedwhispers]

thanks, i have talked to him before about us talking to someone about our relationship and he has said thats a good idea, but i think he has just given up now.

i know i acted abit crazy, but i couldnt help it, my worst fear is being abandoned and he knows this, my babys father use to do that to me all the time, and the reason i acted crazy was coz he left me, and not just he left but he left me in the middle of the night.

i will try and do what u said, i wont contact him for a few days and i will see if he contacts me and if he doesnt i guess i just will have to move on. hes going to have to contact me or my dad soon coz i have all his stuff, im hoping he contacts me not his family.

im up and down all the time, one min im fine and the next im crying. i just want to stop feeling this way.

thankyou for ur advice. i feel desperate.