Dating one, falling for another

[Edge666]

Hey everyone,

 

I'm finding myself in a bit of a stressful situation. I recently (nearly 3 weeks ago) started "going out" with a sophomore in my class. I say "going out" because neither of us like to get too involved in a serious relationship right away like so many people our age do often times; we just want to date for a while and see how things turn out. Before we started "going out" however, I also liked a freshman with a not so impressive reputation. She smoked (maybe smokes) weed on occasion, used to be into witchcraft which she has clean up on and is still getting over, had sex numerous times before highschool, etc. My friends know I really like this sophomore girl and keep asking me when I'm going to ask her out in a sense of a more solid or serious relationship, which I want to don't get me wrong. But since we started dating we've only been on one date which friends sort of intruded on. I can to an extent understand this, since her mother separated and wants to do things with her sometimes, its around holidays, she's been out of town twice over the last 2 weeks, and she has a job. I'm just not sure that this sophomore girl is as crazy or happy to be dating as I am. While she has been out of town and out of touch with me I almost every day talk to this freshman in some fashion. I feel like I have perhaps made a wrong choice with this sophomore girl (even though I think she might be the best for me and she is very beautiful) since she never seems to have time to do things. This freshman girl despite her bad past and reputation seems to be connecting with me alot more; she does know I like her too and she has said that she doesn't really know me enough *yet* to make that sort of decision if she does or does not like me, but I feel we may have started connecting (plus don't forget the fact she's had sex before and I have as well, for some reason that's appealing to me you know - 16 year old teenager with raging hormones I guess). I recently got my drivers license as well and am waiting for insurance on my car so I'll be able to drive places more often and be doing things with people will be more of an option now (like the sophomore).

 

I know everyone is thinking in their heads right now "forget the freshman, keep up with the one you already have" but let's not forget, we've all heard the saying never judge a book by its cover. Please apply that saying intelligently in your replies. Also I don't appreciate replies just saying what I want to hear. I want your honost opinions.

 

Thanks,

Edge666

[Dieselmetfan]

wow, reminds me of good old days back in high school. well im a freshman in college now and life is not as "cool" as they were back then..well you want an honest answer. if i was still in hs and i read this, i wouldve said..go for both of them..i mean seriously..be a player.. but the wise decision right now would be for you to talk to both of them..wait for the sophmore to come back..see if she is really interested in you...also talk to the freshman more since she said that she didnt know u that well..wait like 2-3 weeks or so..im sure you'll have a better idea of who you like more by then..but remember this..the freshman could be the one playin u since shes had tons of experience..the sophmore could also do the same if she isnt that interested in you..but i seriously consider that you talk to both of them for awhile..your decision will come clear and you'll know who to choose.

[Mar]

I have to somewhat agree.......NOT with the "be a player" part, but there's certainly nothing wrong with talking to both of these girls and keeping it casual on both fronts, as LONG as no one's led on. If you're truly in a casual relationship with the soph. girl, keep it at that until you see how she returns your attentions. And there's nothing wrong with talking to the freshman girl either. Just be careful in that instance and don't hook up with her for the wrong reasons (her experience in sex). Bad, BAD idea. Look at who her friends are and make sure it's not an issue with you. If she hangs out with a "bad" crowd, you're not going to change her friends on her, she'll fight you tooth and nail. See which girl has the ambitions you admire, the drive to do something with their life, the personality that stands clearly in your head, etc. Which one do you think of at night, all of it.

 

But be open with both of them, so there's no misunderstanding. Let the freshman girl know you're dating the sophomore girl, and let the soph. girl know you enjoy talking to the freshman girl, "as a friend", if you want to keep it hassle-free but still be on the up-and-up. Nothing worse than being caught between two angry females! Good luck, I hope things simplify for you soon!

 

Mar

[ForAnother]

I was caught in a very very similiar situation. I was with my two female friends, at my best female friends house. I ended up hooking up with one of them, and while doing so I realized that both liked me tremendously. It took me some time (1 week or so) and watched both of their actions and such, watched what made me happy. The thing was the girl I didn't hook up with was still strong even after knowing what I had done. From that I found her more attractive and more into me as I was into her. Also I found out the girl I hooked up with was a bit childish and still too much into her ex. Well now I am dating the girl I didn't hook up with. Its a matter of seeing who is more your type, who can you speak to for hours on end without getting bored. Well also look at the sexual side, which one turns you on more, who makes you happiest, who is more appealing. The last thing you want to do is force yourself to date the nicer one just because she is nice to you.

 

I find also whose parents do you get along with better... I love my gf's parents, they are fun cool interesting (they also get drunk and party, its a plus). Sometimes you jsut gotta not think and just let loose and somehow it will find its way to your head, who you want to date more.

 

Here for another