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Mysterious Valentines Cards


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Having read some the marriage/long-term relationship posts of which one guy describes his wife having an emotional affair with another man and how her libido has rocketed.


When I was helping my bf move some stuff up north last weekend I was drying my hair in his spare room. I noticed some cards on his desk. One of the St Val's cards was from me. There was a Christmas card that hadn't been written in with teddy bears on it, an easter card from his mother and a St Val's card with a cute dog on the front with "Love you" and on the inside "X?X". I have no idea whether it was an old one to him or one intended for me that he didn't give me. I got another one from him though.


Also earlier in the year he was going through some car paperwork when I was spending the weekend up north with him and amongst the paperwork I noticed a very smart St Val's card. This upset me but I didn't say anything about it. I questioned him about it the next day and he said it was from his mother.


So who was the other one from that was lying on his desk along with mine and his mother's card and a couple of other cards???


Should I be worried?? Has anyone else had similar experiences?


Is there someone else in the background I am not aware of? Maybe I am reading into this too much. Surely if he didn't want me to see those cards (excluding mine) he wouldn't have left them out in such an obvious place?


All of the things he says indicate he is serious about us, that he is moving into digs to be near me.


I am planning on emmigrating to Canada and this hasn't put him off. Has he secretly got his options open??


We are spending lots of time together, he is always telling me how much he loves me, he seems to desire me physically even though i am curvaceous rather than lithe. We have started running together, doing stuff socially together. He is very open about his financial situation and shares important info with me. He texts me and calls me almost daily.


I guess the only thing with our sex life is that he seems not to 'make love' to me, but rather goes at it with animal instinct.


Am I worrying about nothing? Advice please!

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He has become very, very conscious of the way he looks, does a workout routine every day before work and does it when he stays the night with me the next morning. He is also careful about what he eats. I think he went through a period of living in hotels and put on a lot of weight and didn't really have anyone to talk to, got lonely, so understandably he doesn't want to go there again.


I told him yesterday he has a six pack on the way and that made his libido rocket so things heated up between the sheets big time. Anyway, he looks great and he is a real animal between the sheets but hope there isn't anyone else he is wanting to impress.

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Honestly, I don't think v-cards or cards in general are things to worry about by themselves. I think they can feed an already existing feeling though. So I wonder if you have always felt you couldn't trust him? How long have you been together? And why are you emigrating to Canada, will it increase the distance? Have you discussed the continuation of your relationship? Sorry for the third degree Just needed some more info.

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It seems that you are basing your fears off of another post you read here more than actual suspicions. This site can be a real death trap for becoming paranoid about your relationship! The instances you've described to me sound perfectly normal, and the relationship you've described seems very solid. I don't think you have anything to worry about!

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I guess its difficult for me knowing that he has a beautiful home 5hrs away from where we are both based in the south of the country (he lives in digs and I flat share with a friend). When he is there, I does leave me wondering what he is up to, but thats also healthy to have a bit of anxiety I guess.


But the flip side of the coin is that he hardly ever gets to see it (maybe once a month). It is a lovely cottage in a stunning city set on its own private road. Unique.


He is staying down south because of me. He could easily go back to working up north and get to live in his own home - poor thing. He says he used to work away from home every 2-3 days and I think he was living with his gf at the time but they argued constantly (he didn't have his cottage then). He said on Tuesday, being with me is "a different kettle of fish".


Maybe I am trying to find fault, but the St Val's card (not from me) got me wondering.


You are right though that this site can make you paranoid that there are problems with your own relationship.

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Well I think it's always good to keep your eyes and ears open, but it sounds like you don't have much more to go on that the card. If it makes you feel any better, my grandfather sends he a card every year that is not signed and "anonymous" (of course I know it's from him!), and my mother does send me Valentine's day cards as well, often more than one.

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Sorry Arwen, I didn't answer your questions.


I won't be emmigrating for another 1.5-2yrs, reason I would like to go are the opportunities over there, the lifestyle and the great outdoors.


We have been dating for 10 months and all is well. No dramas, although we went through a bit of a rocky patch a couple of months ago but that is well behind us.


The thing that concerns my bf is his elderly mother who was widowed a couple of years ago. I have met her a few times now and she is lovely. Understandably he is worried about leaving her behind. I think he would love to come to Canada with me and said so a while back. I have never put pressure on him and told him I was planning on emmigrating fairly soon after we started dating to give him a chance to back off if he wanted to. Just before Christmas last year he knew he would rather be with me no matter where in the world that meant we had to be.


No option but to take it as it comes. I just don't want to miss out on an opportunity like this as it will have taken 5yrs of patience to get there.

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