What should I do??

[guy0680]

I'm sure most of you that have read my other thread know my situation, but to summarize real quick: I am a closeted bisexual and I have just came out to my first gay crush, who has come out to me, but is trying to stay in closet at work.

 

Rumors and gossip of him has pretty much spread throughout the store unfortunately, which I have been trying my best to stop, squash and put as many of them to rest for him as I can. The guy is lucky he has the "King" of the Gossip Mill at work (me!) on his side, but it has gotten to wide spread

 

My crush (my feelings aside) is a really great guy, who helps other people at work do their jobs, when he really doesn't have too....and never gets a lot of people doing favors for him, which pisses me off too.

 

Well to my question...one of the people he helps says homophobic things about him behind his back (*BELIEVE ME WHEN/IF HE SAYS SOMETHING AROUND ME I'LL SAY SOMETHING*)...and it KILLS me to see him have the audacity to ask him for favors later on.

 

Should I tell him about how he talks about him, and that he probably shouldn't help him anymore if hes going to talk about him.....or should I just keep him in the dark, so he won't get upset, and just say something to him myself when I here him saying it??

[Jetta]

Okay before I give you my answer I will say I've failed all my interview thus far.

 

I would keep it to myself simply because it would only cause hurt feelings and we don't need to add to those.

 

P.S. I've gotta use color it drives me crazy to be plain old black.

[Haven]

Once I told a friend that my other friend had said something incredibly insulting about her. She was pissed off for a while, then an hour later was back to being that person's friend again.

 

Same situation again with another friend. He thought I was making it up because I was jealous of my friend (i.e. that I wanted to date him, whereas he was interested in dating my friend, who was saying bad things about him). Later he realized that I had been telling the truth, but by then the issue had driven a wedge between us and we weren't good friends anymore.

 

My point is that you have to consider what kind of person he is, and also how much he trusts you. I definitely recommend speaking up for him (or homosexuals in general) when this person is making homophobic remarks. But in terms of what you should say to your friend, it just depends on how he's going to take it.

[chiefoptimizer]

what I would do personally would be to confront the person saying the bad things...but then, i get into trouble a lot more than the average person, and i'm totally inept socially, lol, so i'm not the best to listen to!

 

the thing is, when someone pisses me off, i tell them in the face...its a bad habit

 

something along the line..."so you *are* a hypocrite then..." lol, as I said, don't listen to me!

[pianoguy]

King of the gossip mill or not, there's nothing you can do to prevent people from talking and gossiping. It's what people do, and this is something you will have to deal with as long as you are closeted.

 

I wouldn't tell your friend about the homophobic stuff, it will just hurt feelings. Next time the guy is being homophobic, make it clear that that isn't cool and he needs to cut that out.