good student bad daughter.

[fearfulleyes]

My parents were raised in an environment that was very strict and they were taught to put aside their feelings at all cost to do what was needed for the family- mainly because money was scarce. Opportunities were limited and freedom was pretty much nonexistent.

 

My parents weren't born here and they really cant speak the language very well, and i was born here and i cant speak their language very well. So this is a huge problem when it comes to explaining our feelings and different views on things. I try to talk to them about school and friends but its very awkward when they don't understand what I'm talking about, they hear but they dont listen. It's gotten so bad we barely even talk to each other - they don't try.. i don't try.

 

Problems between me and my parents are mainly centered around my habit of going out. They think that i don't love them and that i am involved in drugs and gangs and almost anything negative. I'm a pretty good student. All my life i have gotten pretty gooood grades. I turned 18 last december and i have just graduated from high school this June. I graduated in the top 10 percent of my graduating class and have an overall gpa of about 3.78 unweighted and 4.575 college weighted. I dont drink i dont do drugs and i dont party every weekend. I just like to go out and hang out with my friends.

 

 

This is a huge problem for them. They dont like the idea of me going out at all. if they had it their way i would sit in my room the rest of my life. I dont go out much if i had school and if i did go out when i had school the next day i would be sure not to come home to late because I know that school is important and its something that i hold as a priority.

 

Summer is here and I just want to have some fun because i feel like i work so hard during school. Ive tried to show that im a good kid. i've told them that i just want to hang out with my friends and that i dont drink or do anything that is bad, but my parents feel as though i dont love them and that im out of control.

 

How do i get through the language barrier? How do i make them feel comfortable with me going out without staying home 24/7?

[hey jo]

welcome to ENA. i reckon it's not only a matter of overcoming the language barrier to get your message accross to your parents. it's really rather difficult when someone's culture is being challenged, and by culture i mean someone's personal values and beliefs, and not jut race or ethnicity. perhaps your parents have this innate core belief that you going out is a form of, maybe, disrespect or not loving them. i grew up with my grandparents who were pretty much the same but maybe only less strict.

 

anyway...i just noticed you wrote for your title good student, bad daughter? is that how you feel about youself, or maybe how you think your parents think of you? maybe you would lie to talk to them about that.

[jsx730]

Do you have a good enough grip on their language to write them a letter explaining your feelings? Maybe use internet resources to proof read the letter before you give it to them?