ziggie31 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 My boyfriend and I have had sex multiple times, the only problem is that I haven't gotten off a single time. It's not that the sex is bad, it feels intense the entire time, but I've never managed to make it "all the way". When I get myself off, I stimulate the clitoris, and am able to climax within minutes. My bf likes to focus on the g-spot however, and while it feels great, I'm not used to the feeling, because I have never explored my body there, which I think might be part of the problem. The furthest I have ever made it was feeling like I had to pee, which I hear is what it's supposed to feel like, but the first time that happened I held it back because I wasn't used to it, and the second time I tried to relax but I still couldn't come. My bf keeps saying he wants to get me off, and sometimes he gets upset that he can't. He has some insecurities, I was his first partner and serious relationship, so he's just as inexperienced as I am, and sometimes he tells me that he feels inadequate that he can't pleasure me. I tell him of course that's not true, just because I can't come doesn't mean he's not satisfying, but I can tell it's upsetting him all the same. So what should I do? I would really like to be able to get off, both for my own pleasure and for his, and I'm afraid I might just be having trouble due to inexperience. Is there any hope for my situation?? Link to comment
VtecQueen Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 hey I just wrote the same thing in my post. *high five* It's crazy, the same thing is happening to me!! Link to comment
Supa_gurl Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Definitely some hope sweetheart. You can orgasm without coming just so you know. If I were you I would practice with a vibrator. That is actually how I had my first one. Later with the husband I was able to as well. Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Do you or him stimulate your clit while having sex? Some girls can't orgasm from penetration alone and need that stimulation. Its the only way I can orgasm during sex, is if he or I play with myself. Link to comment
cichlid Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Girl, get on top. That's the only way I can orgasm! Do what feels good and you should pick it up in no time at all. If you are worried about the length of time that it will take for you to reach an orgasm have him help you out before you climb on. My Bf will finger me until I am just begging for sex. Then we have sex and it doesn't take long. Link to comment
ziggie31 Posted July 17, 2008 Author Share Posted July 17, 2008 Do you or him stimulate your clit while having sex? Some girls can't orgasm from penetration alone and need that stimulation. Its the only way I can orgasm during sex, is if he or I play with myself. I tried that once, but I didn't really feel much, maybe I wasn't in a good position to reach it properly or something. I think it's worth a shot, though I'd really like to try to get off through penetration, if possible Girl, get on top. That's the only way I can orgasm! Do what feels good and you should pick it up in no time at all. If you are worried about the length of time that it will take for you to reach an orgasm have him help you out before you climb on. My Bf will finger me until I am just begging for sex. Then we have sex and it doesn't take long. I haven't tried being on top before but maybe that'll help, I'll give it a go and see if it works out Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Girl on top always gives me the best orgasm. And its the easiest position I find the get clitoral stimulation as well. Within minutes I can get off. Other positions I find a little harder, especially missionary, doggy is ok, and spooning is another good one to get off fairly easy. I've never been able to get off from penetration alone. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 you need more time alone to get yourself there. it will help with your sessions with your bf. Link to comment
Zepp Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 I like it when I'm on top, that way he gets a show, and can play with my nipples and stimulate my clit. That, and I get to control what I want to feel. It's very invigorating to finally figure out how to make yourself get off during sex, and riding cowgirl is how I did it. I don't know if doing that was some sort of way to break a "barrier" but now I can usually climax from g-spot stimulation alone... although it takes a bit longer. I still like it when he's rubbing my clit while we have sex, it always works for me. EDIT: If this is TMI, I'm sorry. But I'm just wondering if the OP has tried the above? Have him rub your clit, not you lol Link to comment
ljoy74 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 My boyfriend felt the same way as yours does. He hated that I couldn't finish and him getting aggrevated about it only made me more tense. Let him know his frustration doesn't make finishing any easier for you. All I have to say is relax. Remove (or just turn off) anything else that might be a distraction, like cell phones, the TV etc. In the end finishing isn't what sex is all about (SHOCK! to many), it's about the connection and the experience. Link to comment
ziggie31 Posted July 19, 2008 Author Share Posted July 19, 2008 you need more time alone to get yourself there. it will help with your sessions with your bf. I've tried that - I couldn't feel anything stimulating and gave up. That's probably one of the biggest problems, I don't know my own body that well yet. I like it when I'm on top, that way he gets a show, and can play with my nipples and stimulate my clit. That, and I get to control what I want to feel. It's very invigorating to finally figure out how to make yourself get off during sex, and riding cowgirl is how I did it. I don't know if doing that was some sort of way to break a "barrier" but now I can usually climax from g-spot stimulation alone... although it takes a bit longer. I still like it when he's rubbing my clit while we have sex, it always works for me. EDIT: If this is TMI, I'm sorry. But I'm just wondering if the OP has tried the above? Have him rub your clit, not you lol Not tmi at all, thanks for the advice. I do feel like there's a "barrier" there that I need to overcome. I think I'll definitely try being on top next time, it seems like it has good results Link to comment
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