She texted me this... EXCUSE?

[flyingSolo]

I am just so sick of dating. I just can never understand it. So I have been dating this chick for close to a month now. Things have been great on all ends of the spectrum, unless she is a fake. Anyways, we had plans tonight. We confirmed them yesterday. I called her at 1:30 today setting the exact time and told her to call me back. At 4:00 or so she texts me "My sister got into some big trouble last night at Ole Miss and I've got to be at home tonight.... Tell you about it later. Rain check? I'm sorry!"

 

I think she is blowing me off. I mean, why in the world could she not at least have called me to tell me this? Though, if she was blowing me off, why did she tell me yesterday that tonight would be good for dinner?

 

The only two things I know are 1. Her dad has been slightly abusive to her in the past when she was younger, so maybe she is worried for her sister. 2. Yesterday she said that she was suppose to have dinner with her fam Wed., but she said I can just cancel. I told her that we can do another night, she said no, it's no big deal. Oh 3. She is lying!

 

My take, she is blowing me off. I have not responded and I don't think I need to. She can call me, to hell with her if not. But why would she agree to today just to blow me off? Who knows? Much less say that she will tell me later and asks for a rain check? ](*,)

[riley123]

Maybe it was true, who knows.

 

You're right; let her contact you. If she doesn't then its her loss.

[Weeblie]

I've always believed in trusting a person until they give you a reason not to trust them.

 

Unless she has a history of blowing you off, this text message seems perfectly fine. Depending on her situation, she may not have been able to or be in a place to talk on the phone. Give her a chance to prove herself. If her reason still seems like bull, then move on.

[ghost69]

pretty vague message. sounds like a blow off to me. most girls into you would call i think.

[Ac143]

I think you are thinking into this way toooooo much. Maybe she isn't lying and something happened last night with her sister and she wants to keep her company tonight? what the big deal?

 

I think if she was blowing you off she wouldn't say she was sorry and ask for a rain check.

[george237]

What if her sister got in an accident and she was in the hospital. Wait and see. You should of responded I hope everything is ok and if you need to talk to someone give me a call.

[flyingSolo]

Your crazy. What if her sister got in an accident and she was in the hospital. Wait and see. You should of responded I hope everything is ok and if you need to talk to someone give me a call.

 

So you think it is best to respond in that way to her? I just feel like I would give her the satisfaction if she is blowing me off? I dunno, tough call? Cause what if it is true? ](*,) I mean, on Monday, I called her and she texted me back 2 hours later, "In a movie, call you later if it's not too late" Well she must have gotten out late, but she called me the next morning at 11:30 and we make plans for today. I just don't get it. Not to mention when things have gone great. Affection, vacation with her and her friends, tells me she likes me, etc.

[flyingSolo]

Oh yeah, me being 30, and she 24 1/2, Maybe I am dealing with too much immaturity? Who knows.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

A month is not that long in dating. Affection, going on vacation with friends doesn't really mean anything because lots of people embark on these whirlwind dating adventures in which they do everything and anything together all within the first few weeks of knowing each other and then after it all falls apart. It is really early days to be able to know one way or the other. This could have been a very legitimate reason for her to cancel. If this is the first time she has done it then I would suggest you just go with the flow and assume it is the truth. Wait until she contacts you. If she starts having a habit of doing this kind of thing then you would have to re-think things. For now just let it go and see how things play out.

[Mlost]

So you think it is best to respond in that way to her? I just feel like I would give her the satisfaction if she is blowing me off? I dunno, tough call? Cause what if it is true? ](*,) I mean, on Monday, I called her and she texted me back 2 hours later, "In a movie, call you later if it's not too late" Well she must have gotten out late, but she called me the next morning at 11:30 and we make plans for today. I just don't get it. Not to mention when things have gone great. Affection, vacation with her and her friends, tells me she likes me, etc.

 

I think you should respond in that way. You're overthinking this SO much. Tell her that you hope everything is okay and to call you when she can. If she doesn't call you, then it was a blow off. If it wasn't a blowoff, you're gonna look like a jerk for not being concerned about her and her family.

[sunset sun rise lover]

give her a chance to prove herself i mean u owe her that much

[agent1607307371]

Reading your post and your attitude in it I think you want it to be a blow off.

 

That said, a month isn't a long time to be seeing someone and I wouldn't expect more information on said situation unless we had been seeing each other longer. But I see no reason not to take her at her word.

[sunset sun rise lover]

if u don't call and it isn't a blow off your gonna feel real bad once you get the results that her sister got hurt or got in a fight with her dad as you said he is abusive

[thejigsup]

Call her and tell her to call you when everything settles down. This makes you seem just concerned enough to look caring and not too concerned so you seem clingy. It's perfect. If she is blowing you off, which I doubt, she will still respect you.

[kaoticbaby]

honestly, to me she sounds sincere. maybe she texted you because she was busy dealing with her family, and didn't want to call you right in front of them? she said she'll explain later, so let her do so. she sounded apologetic enough to me, IMO.

[DN]

Moderator Note: Please keep posts respectful.

[NewPhillyGuy]

I think the OP has legitimate concerns here. If someone is going to break off plans at the last minute, the LEAST they can do is have the courtesy to make a phone call. What if this guy did not hear that 1 second beep his phone makes when a new text comes in, and drives an hour to some meeting place, makes dinner, or whatever they had planned.

 

She doesn't have time to make a 2 minute phone call? Give me a break! If anything, I think it takes longer to type out a sentence on a cell phone, unless you have one of those phones with the keyboard.

 

OP, I don't give your girl much credit. She's either playing you or has EXTREMELY POOR manners. In either case, you can certainly do better.

 

Chin up, and don't feel badly about the way you are thinking. It's not a sign of weakness, in my mind.

[JadedStar]

I've always believed in trusting a person until they give you a reason not to trust them.

 

Unless she has a history of blowing you off, this text message seems perfectly fine. Depending on her situation, she may not have been able to or be in a place to talk on the phone. Give her a chance to prove herself. If her reason still seems like bull, then move on.

 

I agree very much with this post.

 

If she has never done anything that you know is untrustworthy then trust her. But i ddo agree with the others who said let HER call you, don't call her. She should have called you to tell you this...the text seems like something easier to hide behind then actually talking to you.

 

It isn't a horrific offense if this is not something she has done before or if it isn't a pattern.

 

Don't think the worst just yet.

[flyingSolo]

Ok, to hell with it. I sent her a text saying "No worries, hope everything is ok" I will take an ego hit. If she is blowing me off, I don't want her anyways if she is a liar. If she was serious, she will respect me for not being and a$$ about it. I will however not call her, the ball is now in her court. I will give her until tomorrow, if not, I guess I will move on unless she has a phonominal excuse. I guess it can't hurt this way. If she likes me, it's ok and will respect me, if she is lying, at least I did what was right. This is what I would normally do, but like I said, I just would not want to give her the satisfaction that I care. But, I guess by me not calling her and responding to her rain check, I won't necessarily look desperate either.

[boo121]

I am just so sick of dating. I just can never understand it. So I have been dating this chick for close to a month now. Things have been great on all ends of the spectrum, unless she is a fake. Anyways, we had plans tonight. We confirmed them yesterday. I called her at 1:30 today setting the exact time and told her to call me back. At 4:00 or so she texts me "My sister got into some big trouble last night at Ole Miss and I've got to be at home tonight.... Tell you about it later. Rain check? I'm sorry!"

 

say to her "well what are you gona do to make it up to me!?" and leave it at that.

[NewPhillyGuy]

Ok, to hell with it. I sent her a text saying "No worries, hope everything is ok" I will take an ego hit. If she is blowing me off, I don't want her anyways if she is a liar. If she was serious, she will respect me for not being and a$$ about it. I will however not call her, the ball is now in her court. I will give her until tomorrow, if not, I guess I will move on unless she has a phonominal excuse.

 

Good for you for taking the high road. If she doesn't respond to you, don't feel like you are less of a person or weak for sending her a nice message. It says alot about you, and lowers her even more in my book.

 

A girl did something like this to me a few months ago. We had a few nice dates. I called her on a Monday to schedule the 4th or 5th date on a Friday, and she gave me this wishy washy answer "I think I'm available on Friday, but I'm not sure, so I will have to let you know before I agree." You can't get much worse than this girl. Anyway, she let days go by and I heard nothing. On Friday night at around 7pm, she calls me and said, "hey, are we going out?" Although I had no other plans, I lied to her and just said sorry and that I had already made plans. I wasn't going to let her play me like that.

 

I talked about it with someone, and the person said she might have had some legitimate excuse for doing that - maybe some family plans or something that was not finalized when I called her. I decided to give the girl the benefit of the doubt. I called her early the next week, and left a msg - let's try again for this Friday. Give me a call.

 

She never returned my call, and I never heard from her again. This confirmed my suspicion that she was just a flake who was playing around with me. She obviously had no respect for my time.

 

No regrets, because I knew the truth. I knew 100% she was a waste.

[flyingSolo]

Well said, I am just too old for this crap. Time will tell, though I still don't believe her. Damn this one got me good if she is splitting.

[bronte]

I agree that her message sounds sincere, and actually disagree that she should have called--If it's a complicated or stressful situation, she may not have wanted to get into a detailed conversation about it with someone she's only been dating a month until she's feeling a bit more calm and collected. She said she would tell you more later and apologized...I agree with the person who said that it sounds like you almost want her to be blowing you off, your reaction definitely seems a bit weird based on what you've said.

[thejigsup]

She really does sound sincere. Give her a chance. If she turns out to be insincere, it is on her, not you. You sound like a guy whose just a little bit frustrated with dating. Don't be, the right girl is out there for you...and it could be her!

[Clarity]

It sounds sincere, I think you're just a little uneasy - perhaps from past experience? See where it goes - I hope it works out for you