spion_kop Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 My ex has called me several times during the past couple of weeks. Over the weekend she called me about 14 times in the span of two hours. She texted me asking to pick up the phone but i didnt respond nor answer. Monday night she calls me once again as well but i dont answer once again. We've been broken up for 3 months plus and I've been on NC for the past 2.5 months. I also know that she is still dating her bf but i think things are rocky right now and the reason why she wants to talk to me is for comfort. But then I started to think that she must still be in love with me because the phone calls have been constant but sporadic. I believe that she wants to talk to me to ease the guilt and to make herself feel better about herself, at my expense. I mean why should i be there for her while she is dating the guy that i warned her about while we were together. What do you think guys, am i doing the right thing by sticking to NC? I feel that she needs to be single for a while to mature and to really discover who she really is. Right now I dont want anything to do with her and if i tell her to leave me alone it would give her some sick pleasure because i answered my phone and gave into her (yea she thinks liek that). Link to comment
okay Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Yep, U’re doing right thing. &, U’re thinking in right way, except for she could be loving U(at most rebound). Link to comment
Zampotne Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Right. Even negative attention is still attention. Don't give it to her. Link to comment
bepositive Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Hi, spion Good to see you again! Or maybe not, for your sake. If you know for sure that she is still with the new guy, I think I'd hold off on returning contact. But I'm sure you'll get more opinions. After leaving my ex a "happy birthday" message, she did get back to me; texted me the next night, and left a voicemail about a week later. She said that she's been wanting to get in touch with me to "catch up," but wanted to give me time and space. She asked me to e-mail her, so about a week later I sent a brief one. She responded this morning with a much longer one, telling me about her trip, asking about my birthday, how I was doing, etc. I'm not sure how or when I'll reply. I get the impression that she wants to be friends, and I really want more than that, so I might just leave it be. The funny thing is that she kept talking about "I went (here) and (there)...", when she knows that I know she went on this trip to see her new bf. I think it's more because she doesn't want to hurt me, rather than imply that she's available. I'm still working on how/when to reply to that. What's worse, the woman I'm currently dating sensed that I was "off" a bit last night, and is worried about the state of OUR relationship. I really like her, but I think we're going to have to have a talk, since I'm just not ready to be as involved as she is. And she's really cool, I don't want to lose her, but I do want my ex back, so it's really not fair to string her along. Sheesh! BP Link to comment
DN Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Are you sure she is still with this other guy? Absolutely sure? Link to comment
cr44hill Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 How long have you been seeing this new girl? Link to comment
bepositive Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Was that for me? I've been seeing her for a month or so. She fell fast, like my ex did (maybe faster). But, this woman really throws herself into her hobbies and such. So, it could be her nature. It's nice to know that I'm such a catch, but I want to get back on my ex's "hook!" Link to comment
spion_kop Posted July 16, 2008 Author Share Posted July 16, 2008 Thanks for the responses. Yea, my friends confirmed it for it. It wasn't as if i was looking around making sure she was single. I've been moving on with my life, enjoying my summer to the max and taking each day as it comes. I know that if i do break contact i will be back at square 1. That is the reason why I've distanced myself completely from her. I barely think of her to begin with and it's not because I've forgetton her but rather I've been so busy enjoying myself. I've also taken myself off the market temporarily because I've realized that I dont need a woman to make me happy. I can be happy being single and plus I've also in my 4th year in university and I really want to get into med school. So this year is just going to be about me and my needs. About two weeks ago i met her best friend and I told her to tell her best friend to stop contacting me as it was getting annoying but that didnt stop. My ex probably knows that she made a mistake in her current relationship and it's catching up with her first hand. But she is too emotionally dependent on a man that she wont leave em and I thought i was the clingy person. She needs to be told a variety of nice things to boost her confidence and self esteem while I know for a fact where i belong in those terms without people letting me know. I'm not trying to make myself seem more mature because that would be false. I've just come to realize a whole lot of things about myself and her which has made me work on myself. Link to comment
joshparker Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 it sounds like we are in the same boat my friend. your doing the right thing and your story of keeping no contact has really inspired me to do the same thing i keep going back and im always back at sqaure one. your story is really a motivation for me to keep going. keep up the good work and GOODLUCK! Link to comment
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