legnadeer Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Been dating a man from Oz for about four months now. His work ends around September and he has to return. We've hit a couple of road bumps this week concerning this I guess (plus he's getting a little homesick). I guess I'm just looking for some advice or ?? We haven't deeply spoken about me moving over there to continue this though I've alluded to the fact that I had no problems moving. I'm a adventurer at heart and was actually headed over to live in Europe before we met for no other reason than to experience life, so moving abroad = no problem. The vibe I'm getting now from him is uncertainty about our future because he has to go back and unfortunately for him/me he has a few things to work out his own self that involves a past relationship he had which ended late last year. He's afraid of failure. And thinks he may need to sort some things out or figure it out. He's not said that we should/will break up or that he wants to, in the beginning I thought that we would just cross that bridge when it came to it - him leaving - and in the meantime we'd enjoy each others company until then. But the time is close and he's been thinking about it a lot more than I have. Feels as if he's torn. He wants to be in Oz because his friends family and life he built is there but at the same moment he mentions applying for a green card lottery so that he can be here. It's a little bit confusing to say the least. And he's not directly saying things so it makes it even harder to figure out. Feels as if he doesn't want to hurt me, be hurt himself. I guess what I'm wondering is if I should just sit him down and have a heart to heart, this is what I'm willing to do (move) to try things out if that is what you want, or will this relationship last past September? And if I do, would now be the time or should I give it a month or so closer to the date he's leaving? I wonder if I should just back away now while we're friends and in good spirits with one another and while I'm level headed and part ways with him knowing that it will eventually end soon anyways. I hate the thought of breaking it off now, when we could have two more months with one another but in that bliss there would always be the hint of knowledge. Or should I let him take the initiative and let him decide on his own what he wants to do with this (our relationship) because that way I'd know it was of his own doing and not through influence. Honestly... I'd like to just pack it up and walk the other way. But... that's the way I've done things in the past so I'm trying not to make such a rash movement. There's that saying if you love something set it free and if it was yours in the first place it'll come back to you, something like that. I just don't know what to do. I know in the end it'll be my decision and that alone but I wouldn't mind a little bit of advice if you have any to offer. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.