gracerules2008 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 I read many threads on here that say that someone has no business pursuing a dating relationship unless they've achieved a certain amount of self improvement. The question is how much self improvement is enough? Do I have to be perfect? If so how can that perfection be defined? Do I have to be close to perfect? Where should one draw the line and say "okay I've done enough self improvement to be worthy to go out on a date?" Has anyone here arrived close to perfection? If you have let me know. If you can define what close to perfection is let me know. I can only speak for myself when I say that I have weaknesses and I will have weaknesses as a man for the rest of my life. I am nobody special and when I die it won't make any difference to me if nobody in this world remembers my name. I've been living on this planet for 28 years. I just had my birthday June 23rd. It's been my experience that as soon as I get finished overcoming one weakness then another weakness pops up. It wasn't until 6 months ago when for the first time I met a girl who is not pointing out what's wrong with me. She's actually pointing out what is right with me. It feels too good to be true. I want to believe it. Before I met her I was so used to people pointing out my faults and ignoring what was right about me. Now when is it a good time to relax and take a break from self improvement? Since weaknesses always pop up whenever I get finished overcoming one weakness I'll be working to overcome weaknesses for the rest of my life. So is it ever okay to take a break from self improvement? Is it ok to ever rest and just enjoy myself for the time being and say "well I'm far from perfect but I am acceptable for the time being?" According to western society the answer is "no it's not ok to take a break from working on yourself." I'm pretty much burned out and I'm just about ready to throw up my hands and say "I need a break!" I think I can afford it. It's not like any of my weaknesses are causing me to break the laws of the land. I'm a law abiding citizen, I still hold down a job, I don't have kids so it's not like I don't have the luxury to take a break from self improvement. So if it's not okay to take a break let me know. Then I will have all the confirmation I need that this site is not for me and move on to another message board. I can accept that ENA is not for those who want to take a break from self improvement. I'm sure I'll have no problem finding a site that is geared more towards pointing out what's right about people instead of dwelling on what's wrong. I don't need to be around people who think they are God by telling me that I have no business looking for a date just because I am shy or insecure or because I don't make X amount of money per year or because I don't like shaving my facial hair, etc. etc. Why not? there's no law that says I can't look for a date. I don't even have a criminal record. That kind of advice just lowers my confidence level even further. It's like kicking someone when they are already down. Link to comment
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