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He never responded to my email.


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I never got a reply to my email after the 3rd date. I know that he logged onto the dating site yesterday, so I know that he was online, but he did not respond to me. Even though the date went well, there was no physical contact....so I guess, I should give up, right? It would seem desperate if I called him to find out how he is doing.


I really have no idea what to do at this point.

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There is never anything wrong with doing things the old fashioned way... pick up the phone and give them a call to see what's going on. You won't seem desperate at all - just interested in them. It is unbelievable how many text messages and emails never get to the intended person yet we assume something because they did not answer.

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I hate chasing guys. I spoke about this yesterday. I told him to give me a call when he dropped me off on Sunday. I know he may be busy, so I will give him a couple of days, but how many days should I wait before I give him a call, without looking desperate. I am very horny, so I am afraid that I might say or do something stupid.

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Maybe he is just playing it extra cool and is keeping you guessing which you are! Don't give in and ring him. The early dating stages are full of uncertainty.


Just get busy to help take your mind off him - I know how difficult it must be for you.

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I'm sorry Y but you just put a smile on my face...


What is your eagerness stemming from? Hoping that he's interested in you or trying to get to 3rd base?


When is he going to be back in town anyhow?


Don't chase... Don't let your needs affect you here, Girl!


I'm sorry that he hasn't contacted you yet... Has he said anything about still dating around possibly? Just curious... I think you'll hear from him soon.

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When I initially met him, he said that I was the only woman that he was in contact with on that dating site. That was more than a month ago, so I think that by now it is possible that he is talking to others.

I am anxious because I have not had sex in more than 3 months and there is someone else who I dated after my ex, who is now available and seriously interested in me because I told him that I wanted monogamy and I did not think he would be capable of it....and now he says that he is.

I could use this other guy to get "my rocks off" but I do not want to go back to my old ways of dealing with these types of situations.

Since the new guy is not contacting me...even though it's only been 2 days, I am very tempted to call him.

The men of ENA are telling me to call, while the women are telling me to wait. Who should I listen to? I am so confused....not as confused as ConfusedDater, but confused still.



What to do?

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Have you thought about not dating for a while? You sound like you really need time for yourself.



I am inclined to agree with this. It sounds to me like your motivation in dating is not so much about finding a suitable match but to find your next monogamous sex partner. That is not a good thing because it will cause you to act rashly. You really need to get a handle on this sex addiction that you have talked about in previous threads. It sounds like you are currently going through withdrawal symptoms, much like an alcoholic goes through the DTs when he/she has been off alcohol for a while.

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Uggghhh...I do not usually go on third dates with guys that I do not consider long term potential. I do not spend an entire day with someone if I think that there is nothing there. I also do not wait for people to call me or email me. I am trying to do things differently, so that maybe I can find a guy who is better suited for me.


As I said earlier, there is another guy who is very interested in me, but I am not sure that he is relationship material because he just got divorced and is probably still on the rebound.


I am not really freaking out about the guy from Sunday, but I am asking what the best approach is under the circumstances, so that I do not come on too strong. He said that he thought that I had a strong personality...and I am not sure that is a good thing.

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Not as confused as..... hahah


I think you need to wait it out. I mean even if you talk to him saaaay today? That's not going to bring you closer to the day that you can see him again.


When is he coming back into town? Start jogging if you have to. Jog all evening long until you can't help but pass out... You can do this - you got this! And you can do it in a healthy manner!

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I think that he is in town, actually, but I cannot be sure because he may have gotten a last minute assignment. That is what happened the last time he disappeared.

However, if he wanted to call or email, he would have been able to do so, since he did that last time, even though he was overseas.


He lives within walking distance of my house, so if I was a nut, I could just go see if he is home, but I refuse to engage in stalking behavior. The point is, I would like to have him show some initiative. He did not even try to kiss me on Sunday, but he did suggest phone sex....as a joke...but still....


As far as the sex addiction...I have plenty of ways of satisfying that urge, but I am choosing to be celibate, and it is killing me. I could very easily call this guy up and tell him that I want sex, but I am choosing to suffer instead. It is just like withdrawal, so all the people who mentioned that are correct.


For me, going without for more than 2 weeks is quite an accomplishment, and this has been more than 90 days....103 to be exact, so I think I deserve some sort of credit for that. If you are not an addict, you have no idea how difficult this is for me.

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Why doesn't anyone understand that masturbation is not the same as real sex? I know this is all very funny for everyone, but it is a SERIOUS problem I am having. I always end up in dysfunctional relationships as a result, so the fact that I am coming here for help is a step in the right direction. I finally got rid of my ex, even though I had a small relapse a few months back.

I still want to meet someone and have a family. Why is any of this so unattainable?

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I still want to meet someone and have a family. Why is any of this so unattainable?


I've read through some of your old posts and I think you’re making wonderful progress! You should feel proud!


Have you thought about talking to a counselor about your sex additions? Perhaps you'd be able to meet the man of your dreams if you didn’t try to work through this issue alone.

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I am proud of you! 103 days is great!


Can you just make it through the end of the week at least? Can you just set a goal now to get through a few days at a time?


And what is your gameplan...? Let's say he calls this Thursday, then all is good. And if he doesn't, what is your plan?


Maybe while trying to "not" be sexual, you came accross as being completely uninterested and his phone sex comment was to see where you stand with it?


In any case - - - I think it's best how you've handled this. If he doesn't contact you, then you haven't settled for a guy that was possibly interested in sex only.

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