difference between a healty and unhealthy attachment

[jmantra]

Can anyone please explain to me the difference between healthy and unhealthy attachment.

 

In the past I would get so attached to a girl that I would become devastated over a simple fight. And after my last relationship ended I went into a deep depression that lasted a a year.

 

I am in another relationship now, but I don't feel that attached to her. Like I get really upset if she gets mad at me, but not devastated. Also we're in a long distance relationship so if I don't get to talk to her one day I don't get too upset. I mean ya I care about her, but it seems I am opposite of what I was before, a bit indifferent to most things. I am not really sure if their is much of a spark there, but it's an internet relationship and we haven't met yet, so only time will tell.

 

I was in a long distance when I was teenager simply because she lived 45 minutes away and neither of us could drive at the time. I was really attached to her, and would get really upset if I didn't talk to her.

 

So what really is a healthy attachment?

[soul_soother]

Healthy Attachment : Continues their daily lives, not completely reliant still has independence availability. This can involve love and can be completely attached. Of course we will feel depressed / sad when we can't be with them or not, that is love! But not in a "destructive" state..

 

Unhealthy Attachment : Too reliant on them, someone who is un-trusting / violent / abusive emotional/physically. Someone who had drug problems, or in anyway generally, lowers your standard of living and blocks your goals in life. Or just brings you down in any kind of way