allypally Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Right, I guess you've all heard of the book "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus"? Well, I reckon my bf is pulling away from me. The question to all you men out there, do you go along with Gray's theory or truth on this matter. No matter how much you love your gf, does there come a time when you'd rather be away from her? Have some me time? Find yourself again? The other night, after a very long 48hrs of driving and helping my bf move a lot of stuff to his house up north, he said I made him happy but he didn't have any hobbies that he was doing that would also make him happy. I am sorted on that front, and he isn't my only source of happiness. I am passionate about horse riding and go every week and absolutely love it. I think he feels slightly inadequate at the moment because he isn't doing anything he loves. Last night he texted me to say he was tired and didn't confirm out get together this evening, he didn't end the text with 'love' either. Any thoughts?? Link to comment
big greg Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 No matter how much you love your gf, does there come a time when you'd rather be away from her? Have some me time? Find yourself again? Absolutely, everybody needs "me time". It's unhealthy not to have at least a little "me time". Link to comment
allypally Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 I forgot to mention he is having to start looking for new digs for during the week so thats been on his mind, and also his mother is in the process of selling her house and my bf will benefit from the proceeds of the sale. However, house prices have fallen in the UK and it isn't a sellers market anymore - it looks to stay that way for the next 3 years. A knock-on effect from the US I guess? My bf was hoping to buy a place down south aswell as owning his other house up north and he has spoken to me about it. But it looks like this plan will have to go on the back-burner for a while which is a big disappointment for him. Wondered whether a combination of these things would make him a little distant. We have started going running together and were planning to do that tonight, however I have other things I have to do even if it doesn't go ahead. Link to comment
big greg Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Tell me about it, I'm trying to sell my house right now and honestly I'll be happy to take a loss on it just so I can get out from under it! Becoming distant is a side effect when there are alot of things to worry about. When I am worrying about something, I become distant. I think alot of people do, and that he's got alot on his mind right now. The best thing you can do is be there for him, because there is nothing worse than having alot on your mind and not having someone there for support. Link to comment
allypally Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 Well, he only has to tell me that he'd rather give tonight a miss and I'd be fine with it and more than understanding. He didn't say "see you tomorrow" or anything, so I'm assuming he doesn't want to meet up this evening. Just wondered what other men thought about the 'Rubber band effect'. BigGreg - thanks for your responses. Link to comment
soul_soother Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 I love me time, whether its Playing my Piano, or geeking out and going crazy on some new Video game, even just sitting on the couch, and movie time (who doesn't love movies by themselves so you can sing or yell at the actors)... It almost works like sex.. If you have sex every day, it's quite like Top Roman.. It's okay, gets old and flavorless after a while... However if you do it every now and then it's like Benny Hanna's completely exciting with live entertainment! Link to comment
soul_soother Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Becoming distant is a side effect when there are alot of things to worry about. When I am worrying about something, The best thing you can do is be there for him, because there is nothing worse than having alot on your mind and not having someone there for support. Oh and as Big Greg said, having someone there to support is great.. I kinda act weird about this . I wanna know there is help, but I don't nesc. want it unless I take it. If he has no hobbies, likes, or anything maybe make a list and try to picture him into doing things. You'd be surprised what someone would be interested in or liked. My friend had absolutely no hobbies besides sitting down and watching TV, so he got into editing video clips and no makes halairous spoofs. Link to comment
allypally Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 Thanks - he hasn't got around to taking up his hobbies yet since the house he owns is a 4.5 hr drive away and he has to live in digs during the week and so it is difficult for him to be able to do what he wants to do. He is only staying in the south of the country because of me. Link to comment
amipushy Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 It's times like this that we have to let go, get on with our lives and trust. Link to comment
allypally Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 He wanted to get together this evening when he dropped me off on Sunday night but his text last night suggested that it was no longer on his mind since there was no mention of it. He wasn't very affectionate in his text either. Any ideas?? Link to comment
big greg Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Be there for him as much as you can right now without being too intrusive! Link to comment
allypally Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 Its just strange, unless I'm missing something .... he really wanted to get together this evening and now he doesn't?? I am there for him, just the lack of explanation is leaving me hanging. Link to comment
amipushy Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 He's your boyfriend so why don't you just call him and ask him if everything is ok? Link to comment
allypally Posted July 16, 2008 Author Share Posted July 16, 2008 It was all fine, he had just been too tired to mention it! we went for a lovely run in the park yesterday evening, the weather was beautiful, then we went out for a delicious dinner afterwards. Link to comment
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