Should I trust her?

[sensitiveman]

I went to visit a girl I had met, and we went on a bit of a road trip. It was pretty wild because we didn't know eachother very well.

 

We had a blast together and after a couple days we were very into eachother, but knew that I had to leave to go back to work halfway accross the country.

 

When we were hanging out one night, she told me before I came into a room of her friends that one of the guys is a guy she had slept with (as f*** buddies) for a while who she had told me about. For some reason, she felt she should tell me. So I go in the room and I'm chilling with them and it's cool. She was pretty flirty with him, but she told me they don't even look at eachother like that anymore, and they can't believe they even slept with eachother.

 

The next night we were hanging out having some drinks, and chatting about strange things. She told me that about 2 years ago, her and 3 of her friends had made a pact to watch eachother have sex with their boyfriends. So her friends watched her from the foot of the bed as she had sex with her boyfriend. Within 2 months, they had all watched eachother have sex with their boyfriends. I thought this was weird, and told her. What upset me is that none of the girls' boyfriends knew that their girlfriend would be watching the friends have sex. For example, she asked her boyfriend if it would be okay if she watched her friends, and he said no, but "the opportunity came" and she did it anyway...with each friend. She didn't even see a problem with this, because it was "just watching, it wasn't like there was touching".

Eventually, the girls all told their boyfriends, and they were all pissed.

 

I told her how I saw it, that the guys got lied to so the girls could all watch live porn. She knew it upset me. Eventually, she said "I was young and stupid", and that her and the girls never talk about it because they don't like to think about it, and one of the guys (who is still with the girl who was part of the pact) is still good friends with everyone.

 

Am I thinking into this too much, or should I question whether I can trust her? She said she wants to see if we can make it work with a distance relationship, but I don't know if I can trust her with her past dishonesty with kinky stuff like that, and for some reason just thinking about it happening upsets me. It just seems so * * * * ty.

[Whiskers]

If she's done it once then she can do it again and I imagine that have your worry is that she may do something similar to you without you knowing. You clearly aren't the exhibitionist type. I'd thing again before getting too involved with somebody you can't trust, it's hard enough knowing you could lose the trust in a relationship very easily, let alone accepting the fact it was completely there to start with.

XXXX

[a_lifters_life]

Dude, walk away find another.

[IMAbadman]

Actually... I think this girl sounds "young and stupid".

 

Take a walk bud. She's not worth it. I mean she’ll probably be good for the horizontal mambo but certainly not for the long term relationship combo.

[orangesoda]

your values are off compatible - long term, she'll just end up disappointing you.

 

put your effort into someone more your style.

[sensitiveman]

So, everyone thinks I should be doubtful about this?

 

Keep in mind I'm 23 and she's 21. We're both kindof young and crazy, but I feel really weird doing the long distance thing knowing that this happened, and she's still best friends with some of the girls, and hangs out with some of the guys.

[sensitiveman]

I think that what she did could be seen as cheating. Definitely very shady, and it makes me wonder what other shady stuff will happen, especially her being so close to an old f*** buddy and tons of guys hitting on her and hanging out with the same (bad influence) friends.

 

She insists her friends all really like me and she has changed and cares about me so much.

 

But she is a sex freak, and I'm not sure if she will be able to stay away from sketchy situations, much less make a distance relationship work...

[Zampotne]

I would consider it cheating as well. Plus, since you voiced your opinion about what she did in the past, now she knows that she needs to hide it from you. She'll be secretive while the whole time telling you that she's changed and she's more mature now. You'd never be able to trust her. Especially LDR.