h0pelessr0mantic Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 ARGGHHH i really cannot understand how one person can have two completely different personalities!!! He promises that he will call and let me know where he is and let me be able to reach him to rebuild trust in our relationship after i caught him cheating...and he is good for a month but then goes completely back to his old habits. I ALWAYS call him and let him know where i am, because if i don't he gets extremely upset with me, but then he'll go off and dissappear on me for hours, finally call me and act like he did nothing wrong and is actually surprised when i am upset with him. Right now i have absolutely no idea where he is, and he promised to call me over 3 hours ago. I still don't trust him after i caught him cheating and i am just sooo frustrated because i can't understand what on earth is so important that he couldn't call me (and FYI he doesn't work and doesnt go to school and doesn't own a car...so those excuses are out...all he does is hang out with his friends who all smoke and drink and play poker). I can understand if he is an hour late calling or something but 3 hours??? i mean in that time, did the thought of me honestly never cross his mind? or did it and he just didn't care about the pain that it would cause me?? how hard is it to pick up the phone and call someone who u supposedly love. I'm sitting here waiting for him to call me (he doens't have a cell phone) while he is out. And this whole time, in the back of my head, i am wondering if he is cheating on me again. This whole thing is just driving me crazy. Am i justifiably mad or am i overreacting? do u think he does love me at all? is there any hope in trying? Link to comment
Whiplash Girl Child Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 #1: If you don't trust him, and make it obvious to him that you don't trust him, then you're essentially feeding into his shady behaviors (e.g. leaving and not calling for 3 hours). He could be thinking, "she already doesn't trust me, so why should I be 'good'"? He could also be doing this to teach you a lesson: That you cannot cage him. #2: If you really want to trust him, it's going to take a lot more than getting a phone call from him every hour. That does not prove that someone can be trusted. #3: This guy sounds like a real loser. How old is he? You said that he doesn't work, doesn't go to school, and that he drinks and smokes all day? Is this the kinda man you want to end up with? What good does he bring to your life, if anything? Link to comment
h0pelessr0mantic Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 He's 23, with only a GED (like a highschool diploma for people who technically didn[t finish all the required courses) and 1 college course. I dont really badger him. He actually makes it clear that he doesn't trust me far more than i do to him. He always says i'm cheating. Even when i go to work or school he always makes rude remarks like "have fun with... HIM" or "don't cheat on me too much". I 'honestly don't know what to do because i've been with him for so long that i'm afraid of being without him. But i'm kind of coming to the realization that things wouldn't be so bad without him. Link to comment
Whiplash Girl Child Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 You really have no idea as to how different your life could be without him, how happy of a person you can be without him, and the fact that there are some great men out there who can and will treat you right. You really have no idea, and you won't, until you take the plunge. Get rid of him, get your life together, and see how great things can be. It all lies in how motivated you are and how much you want it for yourself. Don't be afraid. I put off breaking up with my ex (of 6 years) for a couple of years due to FEAR. While I was with him, I always thought I was depressed due to a chemical imbalance. After I left him, my depression went away (apparently, being with him was the root of it, and I didn't even know it). I haven't been happier! Don't be afraid-- that's the only thing that's holding you back. Nothing's as bad or as scary as it seems; believe me. Link to comment
isilv3r Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Kick him to the curb. He's only 1 person out of a million people that are out there for you. I realize it's not that easy, been there, doing that....but no matter how much it hurts, you eventually realize that the person will never change and before you waste too much time on him, get started on rebuilding your character and finding that perfect guy for you. Although ...it may not be the next one your with, but he is out there! Link to comment
nicky8989 Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 I had a similar experience. Its true that youll never know until you try...and if you do break up for a while, and STILL want him back, then ok. At that point, at least youtried instead of doing nothing to help yourself Link to comment
D_Lish Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 You should never settle for anything less, than you feel you are worth/deserve..... Smoker - Drinker - Cheater - No job prospects - No car -..... He sounds a right, good catch.....NOT! You deserve better!! Link to comment
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