TonyC Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Hi all, A question for those who have been on online dating sites, feedback from the ladies would be helpful. When do you take the plunge and ask to meet? I have been chatting to this woman since yesterday. She winked at me so, I sent her a mail. she replied tonight and we have exchanged about 4 mails. Mostly talked about travelling and light stuff. She literally lives 10 minutes from me. I am kinda thinking we should but, didnt think i should ask until i got some advice... Over to you lovely people..... TC x Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Ask he if she wants to go for a coffee - daytime - keep it casual and up beat. No expectations. It shouldn't come as a surprise to her - people are on on-line dating sites to date so.... Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 i think 4 emails is about right. i would ask her for coffee or ice cream. something low key. Link to comment
TonyC Posted July 14, 2008 Author Share Posted July 14, 2008 thanks for the input currently sitting at me sending the last email so, will wait for a reply hopefully tomorrow, then I will ask her for a coffee at the weekend. Thanks I will let you know TC x Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 ask to meet up earlier than later. do most of your conversation in person. i have never done online dating. Link to comment
Stambler Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 WAIT! I would strongly suggest talking on the phone 1 or 2 times first! But make sure she is OK with that, drop a hint like "This on-line chatting is so impersonal, I prefer talking on the phone or in person..." or try suggestiong it "Hey, we should talk on the phone next time" and feel out her repsonse... Chatting for 2 days is NOT an indication that she wants to meet. Slow down dude! Link to comment
reasonablegirl Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 If you don't ask her to meet soon she is going to lose interest or think you are just looking for a penpal (unless she is just looking for a penpal). Link to comment
Stambler Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 If you don't ask her to meet soon she is going to lose interest or think you are just looking for a penpal (unless she is just looking for a penpal). But don't youthik he should call her first? It seems like th enext logical step. Link to comment
reasonablegirl Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 I suck on the phone intially so I find it to not be pleasant and not a good way to allow someone to get to know me. I'm better in person so I'd rather meet someone in person first and then talk on the phone. Plus, if the guy is a total freak and stalker, I would hate for him to have my phone number. Some women are different that me and may prefer a phone conversation before meeting but I have no problem going straight for the first meet up. A cup of coffee with some guy is not going to kill me even if the guy is not what I am looking for. And if I am emailing for more than a week or so with a guy and he does not suggest meeting up, I lose a lot of respect for his dating technique - man up and ask me out if you are interested. Link to comment
Stambler Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Fair enough. I have done the on-line dating thing enough to be able to tell if a woman is interested, or just chatting. It's obvious from the "conversations". I find when they ask alot of questions, or do a bit of flirting, or at least act interested, I will suggest a phone call or meet up. But many times I sense someone is just being polite or passing time by chatting on line. But it all comes down to fear of rejection. What's the worst that can happen if you ask someone on-line to meet up...they can say no...that's the absolute worst that can happen, not really all that bad! Link to comment
TonyC Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 Hey guys, thanks for all your replies......... Well I have asked her for coffee well 'It would be good to meet you for coffee at some point' I took the gamble as well whats the worst that can happen, thats why I paid the money to meet a woman so, i figure its a game of trying and eventually it may pay off. I will keep you all posted.... It is weird doing this as opposed to the old fashioned way. TC xx Link to comment
bartels Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 If you are going to meet someone you should speak at least briefly on the phone. Forget all that "stalker" stuff, and if you plan to meet them, then risk giving out your number, or let the woman call the guy from a public phone or block her number. Link to comment
madj3ff Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 deffo speak on the phone first so you know she's not a nutter and she knows your not a nutter, if you get past that stage go for it dude, what have you got to lose Link to comment
TonyC Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 thanks guys if she agrees (which i dont know yet she is offline so, probably find out tomorrow) then I will drop her my IM and my mobile and put the ball in her court saying that whatever makes her feel comfortable.... I dont really want her number unless she offers it....That will have to be her call. TC Link to comment
TonyC Posted July 16, 2008 Author Share Posted July 16, 2008 Well I went for it! and got the go ahead so, sometime next week a coffee is on the cards so over the next few days no doubt i will reach out to the enotaloners for any potential do's and dont's Thanks so far, its good to have you guys out there wherever you are... TC xx Link to comment
lady00 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Get her on the phone. You also need to feel her out by speaking on the phone and then you can ask her out properly. Link to comment
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