Cutting friends off

[KronicMan]

Just recently, i kind of cut my friend off. heres a little rundown. im a guy, shes a married woman. we met at work years ago and became good hangout buddies. at first i thought me being a guy would interfere with her marriage. but actually, we all became friends hanging out together, going out, etc.

 

the thing is, my friend calls me non stop, day after day and sometimes would blow me up calling me 3, 4x one after the other. i told her how i felt, and was real nice about it. i said "look when you call me im at work and in meetings, i would appreciate it if you didnt blow me up like that." she got the message.

 

So the blowing up stopped, but constantly day after day she would call me. and we would talk about the same stupid nonsense. she will say "you dont call me anymore, we dont talk" i have been feeling distant, and i dont want to continue this friendship anymore.

 

well last week, we spoke on monday, she called, tues, wed, and thurs. and i didnt pick up. on thursday i had it. and i sent her a text saying she calls me too much, i dont need to speak to any of my friends on a daily basis, and that we both have our own lives outside the friendship. and she did not take it well.

 

i said basically i need to move on. we havent spoken since then. i feel a lil guilty, at the same time relieved, i had been wanting to get this off my chest. shes the type of person where if i said " i dont want to continue this friendship" she would say "WHYY?? WHATS WRONG?? WHAT DID I DO??" Shes pretty hard headed.

 

Thanks for reading. Any advice/thoughts/comments would help.

[Gratsy]

This was definetly more than a friendship. It was an emotional affair. You did the right thing, though.

[Mlost]

First, kudos to you for backing this up. It sounds like this should have been cut off a while ago. Does/did she talk to her husband as much as you, or do you feel like she was emotionally attached to you?

 

I absolutely agree. I wouldn't want to talk to my friends every single day. Even with my roommates, some days I'll say hi, go to my room and whatever. The only person she should be getting that wrapped up in every day is her husband.

[Tiger_19]

What do you mean by "blow-up"?

[Gratsy]

First, kudos to you for backing this up. It sounds like this should have been cut off a while ago. Does/did she talk to her husband as much as you, or do you feel like she was emotionally attached to you?

 

I absolutely agree. I wouldn't want to talk to my friends every single day. Even with my roommates, some days I'll say hi, go to my room and whatever. The only person she should be getting that wrapped up in every day is her husband.

 

I agree, but it did go both ways...it takes two to talk on the phone. Next time, don't become so close to a married woman, even if you only call it a friendship...

[KronicMan]

What do you mean by "blow-up"?

 

 

 

calling 4 times in sucsession (sp?)- one after the next after the next

 

thanks for the advice guys. i was feeling that way too, that she talks to me more than her husband. she has hidden stuff from her husband and only told me.

[Caterina]

calling 4 times in sucsession (sp?)- one after the next after the next

 

thanks for the advice guys. i was feeling that way too, that she talks to me more than her husband. she has hidden stuff from her husband and only told me.

 

I can tell you right now that she's gonna try calling again. In my opinion, you shouldn't get this close to a woman unless you're romantically interested.

 

Its mostly her fault since she's married...her husband might not provide emotional support at home or she's just an emotional affair type of gal.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

She definitely thought this was more than friendship for whatever reason. It's a good thing you cut if off. You don't want that drama. This is a person who is looking for someone to have an unhealthy emotional affair with. It's best to stay away from someone like that till they get their issues worked out.

[Anotherday]

I guess consider yourself lucky and let sleeping dogs lie. Sounds to me like not normal friendship dynamics and almost more like a GF or wife. Did you have this kind of relationship? I cannot imagine doing anything like that unless I were a wife or GF, and even then it is not cool to call someone at work that much. Not even. My ex would call me but I knew better than to bug him at work.

 

I think you finally set some boundaries and now the tough part might be avoiding the guilt. At any rate, stick to your guns and just let this fade away.