swansea Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 I am seeking input from anyone on this forum who might have insight into the relationship between a straight woman and a gay man. I, a straight woman, dated a closeted gay man for several years, and I'm left with questions about the dynamic that existed between us. I realize that each of these relationships must be different, but I would value any insight from a gay man or woman who dated someone of the opposite sex, or from a straight person who had a gay partner. I'm wondering about some of the reasons he, a professional, politically progressive in a notoriously liberal metropolitan area, might have for dating women. I'm wondering why he chose me. I'm wondering why, when we were best friends, he did not express his real self to me, but rather chose to hint around. It was only in retrospect that I realized he tried to tell me he was gay but I didn't (or couldn't) listen. This subtlety strikes me as almost treacherous -- we were so (platonically) close and I was upset and confused by his weird behavior. He's made overtures of friendship that I've not accepted because I felt used and hurt that he couldn't trust me with the knowledge of his sexuality. I'm hoping to move towards a greater understanding of this person that was a huge part of my life for a very long time. Was this about me at all? Is it fair for me to feel he wronged me? I've since moved on to a wonderful relationship (with a straight man, no less), but I would like to move towards forgiveness. Thanks in advance for your replies. Link to comment
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