volpe Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Dear Person, I want to apologize for reacting so quickly and telling you how messed up you were to me. I wish I had simply walked away without making it known. You are a human being like me, wrapped up in your own cycles, and our two habitual cycles clashed and met and we went on one together. You seemed like such a happy carefree person, and I was attracted to that, but deep down in my gut I knew it wouldn't be more than that. So I'm sorry I let my thought process go down that path, to think we could connect in a meaningful way, when I knew from the beginning you really weren't in that space. I knew it that first night we met, in my gut it was all wrong. I tend to do this, over and over again -- find men who are unavailable and get victimized by them. But the truth is, I am not the victim and you didn't do anything to me. You were not honest with me, and that was wrong, but the hurt that I felt as a result had nothing to do with you. It was because of the own stories I tell myself about what is happening. I was not totally honest with you either. When you told me about your own family history and past and challenges, I felt it was too soon to tell me these things. And you did not ask me about my own experiences, which were also something that would surprise you. But I didn't tell you I felt uncomfortable with you sharing with me aspects of yourself so soon. You are an artist. So I know you think deeply about the meaning of life. And I know from talking to you that you are trying to work on yourself and who you are. As I am. But I also know you are not able to express your thoughts to me, because if you were, you would have been honest with me about what was happening the other night. This indeed, is another part of my cycle. I reach out, after getting burned and burning back, to connect to your humanity. I want you to know I am a human being with thoughts and needs, with a huge heart and compassion that you didn't acknowledge when you were deceptive. I want you to feel some remorse for being so careless about my feelings. But you had that kind of heart, I wouldn't be even writing this right now. Link to comment
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