Dear Person

[volpe]

Dear Person,

 

I want to apologize for reacting so quickly and telling you how messed up you were to me. I wish I had simply walked away without making it known. You are a human being like me, wrapped up in your own cycles, and our two habitual cycles clashed and met and we went on one together. You seemed like such a happy carefree person, and I was attracted to that, but deep down in my gut I knew it wouldn't be more than that. So I'm sorry I let my thought process go down that path, to think we could connect in a meaningful way, when I knew from the beginning you really weren't in that space. I knew it that first night we met, in my gut it was all wrong.

 

I tend to do this, over and over again -- find men who are unavailable and get victimized by them. But the truth is, I am not the victim and you didn't do anything to me. You were not honest with me, and that was wrong, but the hurt that I felt as a result had nothing to do with you. It was because of the own stories I tell myself about what is happening. I was not totally honest with you either. When you told me about your own family history and past and challenges, I felt it was too soon to tell me these things. And you did not ask me about my own experiences, which were also something that would surprise you. But I didn't tell you I felt uncomfortable with you sharing with me aspects of yourself so soon.

 

You are an artist. So I know you think deeply about the meaning of life. And I know from talking to you that you are trying to work on yourself and who you are. As I am. But I also know you are not able to express your thoughts to me, because if you were, you would have been honest with me about what was happening the other night.

 

This indeed, is another part of my cycle. I reach out, after getting burned and burning back, to connect to your humanity. I want you to know I am a human being with thoughts and needs, with a huge heart and compassion that you didn't acknowledge when you were deceptive. I want you to feel some remorse for being so careless about my feelings. But you had that kind of heart, I wouldn't be even writing this right now.

[SupaflyTNT]

I'm very sorry this happened to you. I'm not sure how long you were seeing this guy but almost the exact same thing happened to me with a woman recently. Thankfully, I only knew her for a few months but it was still painful. Today I realize that I learned a lot about myself and others from the experience and I have to be glad that it happened. Just try to see this as another life experience and learn from it, that's the best advice I can give you. That and you'll move on, stay positive. Might take some time but you will.

[volpe]

you know--- half of me wants to send it to him. but my other half says-- that's what i always do. and if he cared enough, he would be sending it to me.

[SupaflyTNT]

and if he cared enough, he would be sending it to me.

 

This is exactly what you should be thinking. He doesn't care enough about you. I know you care about him but the best thing you can do right now is never talk to or see him again. Sending that to him won't change his mind. It's enough that you've been able to recognize what's going on here, it took me awhile to figure it out myself. Trust me, no contact. Forget about him, there are plenty other men out there. I didn't believe it at first but as soon as I really let go I met a whole bunch of women, I don't even have time to think about this other girl now!

 

Just try to let him go.

[volpe]

thank you supafly! i am in a moment of weakness, a familiar old feeling. reaching out for understanding, but he will not be that person... otherwise i wouldn't be writing it. i will also get over it faster if i don't send it, and for myself break part of the cycle... and in the future, i can break it earlier!

[alexandergre]

This is exactly what you should be thinking. He doesn't care enough about you. I know you care about him but the best thing you can do right now is never talk to or see him again. Sending that to him won't change his mind. It's enough that you've been able to recognize what's going on here, it took me awhile to figure it out myself. Trust me, no contact. Forget about him, there are plenty other men out there. I didn't believe it at first but as soon as I really let go I met a whole bunch of women, I don't even have time to think about this other girl now!

 

Just try to let him go.

exactly,

dont even think about him anymore. let him go! if it is very hard for you to forget and let it go, then go for a trip alone or with your fiends, its summer and travel somewhere!