How long should a seperation last? How long is too lon

[imsoalive]

It'll be 1 year of seperation in Sept, and I was just wondering..how long is too long to be separated? Ive always been the one to try to save the marriage, even went to counseling by myself, and invited her numerous times, and she rejected in some form or fashion..

 

Have any of you been separated(past or present), and if so how long? I'm thinking of waiting until that year mark, and asking her out so we can talk about it in peace. No kids, phones, text, ims, etc...

 

What are your thoughts?

[Supa_gurl]

I think that would be a good thing to do. Simply take her out, and let her know that you would like to know if there is any hope for salvaging what is left, Because it has been a year. Essentially you would be telling her "poop or get off the pot". There is no need for you to be wasting time and energy on someone that may not want to be with you.

[Loki71]

only you can answer that. You have to decide how long you want to wait for her. I would not let her keep stringing you on. Ask her stright out what she wants as it's not fair to you to keep you waiting

[benga]

each relationship and scenario's are different. I have been separated for 18 months and no talk of divorce. I think deep down we both want to work things out. She is currently in emotional distress and not strong enough to be in any relationship. I will give her that time. A few more months is really not that much in a lifetime. Though I am sure you would like to have a normal family life as of yesterday. These things don't usually follow any timetable. 1 year is a good enough timeframe however to have that conversation.. After that, its really upto you to assess how you have both progressed over time

[imsoalive]

The way Im feeling today, I wanna talk to her about it, but I'm inclined to wait a few more weeks. I dunno..Im kind of a mixed bag of emotions right now..trying the NC thing, hasnt been goin to well...

 

RIght now my focus is trying to get a job, because I need my own place again and need some income. Business has been slooooow, so I guess I have to bite the bullet..all the other stuff going on besides her is kinda keeping my focus, o it helps.