(4USingles) do you think it will happen?.

[MD Geist]

This question is mainly for the single's on this forum who are having a tough time looking for a partner at the moment. Do you think you'll find someone? or do you think your going to be single?.

 

 

For me everybody around me keeps saying iam 22 years old very young your a great guy you'll find someone and its like I've been told that since I was 16 and things haven't changed. The only people I do find is other mens girlfriends](*,) As long as I live here in this town I highly doubt I will since all the women out here are imature party type, single mothers or already in a relationship that leaves littarly nothing for the people in between like me. When a woman says no there's not much you can do.

 

Honestly I would also think that if a woman figures out I have never dated before she would think iam weird, gay or something a huge redflag in her eyes dispite iam waiting to have sex or kiss for a LT relationship or even marriage its like this generation doesn't not respect that. I have lived by it and have had chances for one night stands and I just can't do it. I have thrown in the towel cause these next couple years Iam going to make it big and I always hope that "One" would be there to watch me grow and develop into the person I wanted to be and now once I do reach where I want to be women from that point on will only want to use me not really care about me.

 

All i can do is work on myself and be myself thats it really.

 

Open for discussion.

[Luke Skywalker]

We are Christians, and being Christians we have the word of God (the bible) to draw strength from in the face of discouragement -- what I would call practical Christianity. I have lots of things that can get me down that are paired together. I'm in Real-Estate, so the processes of meeting a client and making a deal is not that far away to the process of meeting the right girl and starting a relationshiop -- almost a parallel process.

 

I look at the Joel Olsteen webcast (can google that name), and look at references he often quotes in the Bible that show that there is lots of reasons to be optimistic. I'm trying to learn to be just like that - in both 'the world of business', and in the 'world of women'.

 

To be that way, I need to have an expectation of something good. So, whether the situation looks bleak, negative or black, I'm still supposed to expect that God will come through and make miracles happen. God can make you meet the right person at the right time and have AMAZING divine chemistry - and in that context, yes I do believe that it will happen. We have to believe, because that's what hope and faith is all about.

[luke2005]

you will find someone eventually, let them come to u, perhaps u will meeet them at the church

[emmie_g]

Maybe your just too picky!

Whats wrong with single mothers?

[Loki71]

Whats wrong with single mothers?

 

Some don't want that instant family, not that there is anything wrong with single mothers but there is more than just the mother. And at younger ages thats hard for some to deal with.

[solacean]

Maybe your just too picky!

Whats wrong with single mothers?

 

I totally agree with this question. Anyone who is ruling out single mothers can't be all that desperate yet. One of the hottest and coolest* women I've ever known in my life (and I mean "known" in a friend capacity only, of course) happened to be a single mother.

 

* an oxymoron, but you know what I mean

[lifeiscash]

As far as a biological persepective, you are fearful in having sexual relations and developed a mindset that it is shameful. Our society has great influence over your thinking and places sex in a negative light through things like politics and religion. I believe sex is a healthy and is a self exploring activity as long as you respect yourself and the choices that you make, married or not. Every animal species that is alive reproduces. Every human has sexual desires and fantasies that want to be fulfilled and the same instinctual urges to satisfy their reproductive needs.

 

My point and to where I'm getting is that within your post you put down people who are sexually seeking even before marriage. I see nothing wrong with it. I would like to know if I had some sort of sexual chemistry with a partner before I make my trip down the aisle. Values or not, society and culture evolves, it always has.

 

My suggestion is the next time you talk with a woman and she is flirting with you, act interested. Don't care if she is in a relationship or not, if she cared that much for the other guy then she wouldn't be flirting, right? Maybe she is having problems and she wants to explore new options but hasn't found anything else available. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to hit on girls b/c they are in relationships. But if a girl is flirting with you and is in fact interested, you could be the next guy in line.

[Luke Skywalker]

I believe sex is a healthy

 

As long as you don't get STD's. Think of this, if sex outside of marriage is really healthy, then why do people have STD's, unwanted pregnancies, or end up having abortions?

 

My point and to where I'm getting is that within your post you put down people who are sexually seeking even before marriage. I see nothing wrong with it.

 

I think the point he is making is that people are putting him down because of his lack of exerience with dating. He already appeared to have tested his boundaries with casual sex and could not do it. I empathise with MDGeist because like him, I too was looking for casual sex, and just could not do it either.

 

I would like to know if I had some sort of sexual chemistry with a partner before I make my trip down the aisle. Values or not, society and culture evolves, it always has.

 

So, those are your values, and they may make sense to you, but then other people have other values and may not see sex as that big of a deal.

 

First of all, if one partner is really unable to have sex, the marriage can be annulled. Second of all, MD Geist hasn't gone that far with any women for that to be an issue. He only talked about one night stands or casual sex, which is completely different than if you are in love with a girl, engaged, and are really serious about getting married, and then have some sex to see how the chemistry is like before really going ahead with it.

 

I'm flexible to see that if you are going to mess around with a woman, and you are engaged with her and you want to see how sex is going to be like, then your sexual chemistry issue has credibility to be reckoned with -- but when you are just talking about sex on the first, second, third, whatever date or girlfriend/boyfriend sex (serial monogamy), or hardcore casual sex, then that argument doesn't really hold much water.

[bostonbruins24]

That is very true.You don't know the status of some woman's relationship and I agree with the advice.You shouldn't aggressively pursue a woman in a relationship but you should still be open to the possibility that she is interested and looking to move on from her current relationship.

[bostonbruins24]

Yes,I agree .God can help you to meet the right person.Perhaps meeting the RIGHT person will be so great that it will make up for all of the lonely nights that we single people experience.You always have to hope.

[Leon]

You don't have to have religious views to know that the way society views sexual relationships is NOT healthy or mature. The natural goal of sex is to reproduce, there are very few animals that do it for pleasure. More or less, that kind of crap is what ruins people's lives, this world isn't getting any better, and one would have to a fool not to see it.

[princess_summer_blue84]

Well I just got out of an ugly relationship so I would have to say NO for now and forever. Once you get hurt so deeply you don't even care anymore. So honestly I would say I don't care if I ever find my soulmate or not. I'd rather die as an old maid than be missorable for the rest of my life.

[MD Geist]

I totally agree with this question. Anyone who is ruling out single mothers can't be all that desperate yet. One of the hottest and coolest* women I've ever known in my life (and I mean "known" in a friend capacity only, of course) happened to be a single mother.

 

* an oxymoron, but you know what I mean

 

 

For someone who's much older like yourself I would say its fine but for someone young like me iam not ready to take care of someone elses kids.

 

 

Maybe your just too picky!

Whats wrong with single mothers?

 

I a market place like this anyone would.

 

At the age of 22 years old where you ready to step up and take responsiblity for a child? Iam not. If I was to date a woman with children I would only be wasting her time because once it gets serious I wouldn't commit because I am don't want a family this early in life you know I've got goals and dreams I want to accomplish and that would be a huge set back in my life.

 

I have met some great women who where single mothers but I cannot step up be a father figure at the age of 22. Iam not ready and I don't think many other kids my age are either.

[MD Geist]

As far as a biological persepective, you are fearful in having sexual relations and developed a mindset that it is shameful. Our society has great influence over your thinking and places sex in a negative light through things like politics and religion. I believe sex is a healthy and is a self exploring activity as long as you respect yourself and the choices that you make, married or not. Every animal species that is alive reproduces. Every human has sexual desires and fantasies that want to be fulfilled and the same instinctual urges to satisfy their reproductive needs.

 

Sex is something I have always been very uncomfortable with my whole life which is why at one point in time I was very fearfull of the oppsite sex. Most I knew alot of people while I was growing up that made bad choices and they ended up with unwanted children or worst a death sentance!. Now I have look past that and moved on and I want to do in love a person for them not how they can love me in the bedroom.

 

 

My point and to where I'm getting is that within your post you put down people who are sexually seeking even before marriage. I see nothing wrong with it. I would like to know if I had some sort of sexual chemistry with a partner before I make my trip down the aisle. Values or not, society and culture evolves, it always has.

 

Some people wait by choice I did long before I found god I wanted to wait. As a virgin sex is something brand new to me and like I said iam just uncomfortable with that and even dating and kissing a woman feels alittle uncomfortable. But in a good way.

 

My suggestion is the next time you talk with a woman and she is flirting with you, act interested. Don't care if she is in a relationship or not, if she cared that much for the other guy then she wouldn't be flirting, right? Maybe she is having problems and she wants to explore new options but hasn't found anything else available. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to hit on girls b/c they are in relationships. But if a girl is flirting with you and is in fact interested, you could be the next guy in line.

 

Growing up I have always been the "Third" person in all my situations and for a change I want it to be just me and her and nobody else, no boyfriend no husband no children!. I stay away from that kind of stuff because its like trying to nogiate a deal with a company thats not for sale. I wouldn't say its impossible but its very stressful.

 

This past weekend I had experience with that and once again I just had no interest in doing so.

[CrazyKing]

What I hear very often is: "She wasn't the right one for you if it didn't worked"

I hate that sentence, now where the heck IS the RIGHT ONE???

[Luke Skywalker]

I knew alot of people while I was growing up that made bad choices and they ended up with unwanted children or worst a death sentance!.

 

Excuse me, but did you just say "a death sentance"? You mean that metaphorically as in AIDS or some terminal STD? I don't see how a successful conviction of rape is going to result in a death sentance anywhere -- that's just for murder cases.

[MD Geist]

Excuse me, but did you just say "a death sentance"? You mean that metaphorically as in AIDS or some terminal STD? I don't see how a successful conviction of rape is going to result in a death sentance anywhere -- that's just for murder cases.

 

Sorry I did know people who past away from STD's infections or are dieing as we speak:sad:

[Pegasus]

Maybe your just too picky!

Whats wrong with single mothers?

 

There is more often than not a good reason why they are single mothers.

[MD Geist]

There is more often than not a good reason why they are single mothers.

 

Not true

 

There are some single mothers out there that are great partners as well as great parents it was just the person they choose was not good.

 

Like I said I have nothing against single mothers. I know a few of them that are very attractive, wonderful personalitly just great people it was there previous partner that made them the way they are. Sometimes though I know what you mean there are other ones that are looking to "Trap" younger men. I could have done that but I didnt.

[Pegasus]

There are some single mothers out there that are great partners as well as great parents it was just the person they choose was not good.

 

Can you please re-read what you wrote? If they were unable to choose a good partner for themselves but still had a child with a "bad" one, are they really that smart? What makes them a good potential partner?

[CrazyKing]

There are some single mothers out there that are great partners as well as great parents it was just the person they choose was not good.

 

I know some single mothers whose "person they had chosen wasn't good"...

 

They aren't good either, not because they're single mothers, but because most of them are "cheap" girls that don't even look at the guys whom they get laid by...

[MD Geist]

why would you assume that anyway?

 

A young successful guy who has never dated is only a respie for a disasteruous relationship. She will only be focused on taking full advantage of me.

[MD Geist]

...

 

You are only 22!! Please don't be so despondent! But to answer your question, I do believe I will be forever alone. But I am 43, not 22!! This last breakup really did a number on me and I never want to feel that kind of pain again. But in my 20's I did not feel this way, and I blew off a lot of men for shallow reasons. Karma sucks.

 

Don't things will change.

 

Like I said iv'e tired my best and still nothing Iam no diffrent than I was 10 years ago when I started asking women out on dates dispite my efforts and huge spike in confidence.

 

Our society today looks at guys like us and goes "Man what a loser!" or "What has he been doing his whole life" reprograms everybody and well you know id be a loser in a womans eyes.

[LE DHUY NHUT]

Who knows?... but you have to keep trying...and never give up.

[MD Geist]

...

Not at all...only in the WRONG woman's eyes. You are far too young to feel such despair about your future! Just put yourself in the right environment for meeting women with values similar to yours..don't be quick to judge or rule people out (I did that a lot at your age..)..you will meet someone special. When you do, take it slow...don't let them in your heart too quickly - which is hard not to do when you have been alone awhile.

 

Its like I want to believe that but I can't at the same time. Every woman I have meet is the wrong woman and I just find it very hard to believe there actually good ones out there.