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Hey guys so I'm 18 and I have had sex. However it was all with my ex girlfriend so i haven't actually had sex in like 8 months. Well I've been with this great girl for a while and shes a virgin. Tonight we decided to have sex and everything was wonderful up to a certain point. When we were both 'ready' I turned to the nightstand to get the condom and by the time I put it on...I was a tiny tiny bit soft, but not bad. This girl is so so tight (tighter than my ex girlfriend who was also a virgin.) So basically I just couldn't get it in and after a bit I was just soft in the condom. We tried like three times and everytime I would be pretty hard and then I'd go to put the condom on and get soft. This never happened before, so I'm kinda confused.

When I was with my ex, i was kinda affraid of not lasting so I'd usually masterbate earlier in the day. I did the same thing today, so I'm wondering if I should just stop doing that or what? In all honesty I've been masterbating about once a day for the past few months, so that could have made a difference, but it's not much more frequent than I did when I was with my ex.

I just want to know what may have caused this and what I can do in the future. Also, I hadn't gotten much sleep for a while, so would me being somewhat exhausted play into it? There's a good chance I'll try again tomorrow, so what should I do in advance?

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while you are reaching for te condom, what are you thinking about?

Are you thinking "oh man i hope this works this time" or "i really hope i dont look totally dumb"


If you are thinking about anything other than sex, then its not going to work. Maybe you should have the condom ready. Like out and waiting on you. You might could also try have HER put the condom on. You may find that arousing.

As for the masturbation, i dont think doing it before you see her is a bad idea. It will make you last longer.

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maybe you need more foreplay rather than to jump straight into the deed.



fool around for awhile so she is relaxed and nice and wet and you are super hard. have the condom right next to you rather than still in the bed stand so you don't have to fumble around too much and interrupt the "flow".


just relax, sex isn't perfect everytime!

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So I had this ex boyfriend who in the beginning, seemed exactly as you are explaining. It wasn't anything I was or wasn't doing, but he just struggled.

We put it down to the fact that he was slightly nervous (despite obvious appearances) and a little intimidated. In your case I'd say nervous and out of practice, nothing that isn't completely normal.

For her, well...it's possible that she was uptight and not as ready as she would have liked to think.

There are a couple of things that can be done and all harmless...for instance, get used to each other naked. Or at least, if you play the foreplay game slow and carefully, you could have her feeling more at ease when the clothes come off. The first time i always a little difficult and sometimes even the smallest of nerves can make it difficult so think about using some of that lubrication. Durex do some fun stuff that can be used safely with a condom and allow for a little more ease.

For you, I know this sounds a little obvious but you could play with yourself while reaching for the condom or you could have her learn to put it on you - it's far more interesting and more of a turn on if the woman is doing the fiddling around as you'll find that problem isn't uncommon for men.

Also, it might help for you to play with her more during foreplay, for instance, loosening her up before you start and for a lot of men, the sights and sounds of a turned on woman is all it takes to get them ready..think about it.

Good luck.


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Well I've noticed before where if I've recently had sex or masterbated much, it can be harder to get it up. So I'm thinking I just won't masterbate until we try it again today or tomorrow.

Basically any suggestions for the first time with a girl thats very tight would be greatly appreciated.

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This is a very common problem when your dealing with


A- Virgins


B- Early sexual experiences


The brain is very closeley connected to the penis. And until you and your penis have had alot of time and practice with Vaginas you wont always know how its going to react to new and especially tight vaginas.


So here is my advice


1- Spend a little time with foreplay, specifically fingering her GENTLY!!! to loosen her up and relax her. If you have any sex toys that will help.


2- Wait til you are really Hard. You know when your erection is its strongest, try to get it to that point before you try anything. It is much easier to maintain penetration with a completely erect penis.


3- When you get in dont start humpin away, chill and just work your hips around to get her to relax and calm down and loosen up. Thrusting will end up popping you out which will only play on you and your penis's psyche.


4- Try what is called the soft entry method. basically you ly on your side and she lies on her back. What you do is have her rub the head of your penis (inside the condom if possible) on her clitoris. Then just calm down and relax while she gets off and eventually you will get erect. Its an old tantric trick that I have done myself. read up on it.


5- Oral sex- If she is up for it have her give you oral sex until you feel confident about the quality of your erection then pop on the condom and dive in before its too late.



As for masturbation, that can sometimes do harm but not often, I would say that most of the issues are mental. Performance anxiety, nervousness etc. Jsut calm down and get out of your head and be patient and you should be fine.

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