Hollyj Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 I saw my ex on link removed today and finally came to the realization that there will never be a reconciliation. Background. We broke up mutually last October due to external factors effecting the relationship. We reestablished contact-his doing-in January. I wanted to have a platonic relationship even though feelings still existed. He stated he still loved me and wanted to work towards a relationship, but couldn't do so until he was gainfully employed again. I continued this farce-stupid and trusting as I am-until April where I could not continue contact, as it was just too painful. I told him I thought it best we stay out of contact until things had changed. He stated he had to get the employment situation out of the way and then he could focus on the relationship, well that was two-months ago and I had heard nothing. Last night, a friend I were playing around on link removed-for her benefit- lo and behold who's picture do we see-said he would never go on again b/c it had been a failure in the past. I was absolutely heartbrokenl I feel so betrayed, I just wish he had been honest with me about not returning to the relationship, it would have been so much easier. I know this is for the best as it shows his true character, I also know I deserve someone who's honest and will appreciate for the special and amazing person I am. But for today it doesn't eliminate the pain and betrayal I'm feeling, I feel like I'm at square one. Just needed to vent. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 The same thing happened to me with my ex. It really hurt a lot because he kept talking about getting back together when it was the right time and how he couldn't even think about being with another girl. When I saw the ad. it was like a stab in the heart. I know he was trying to protect me by letting me go easy, but it was more painful that way. I know now that I was living in a fantasy world with the idea that we would get back together. This is 6 months on and I hope that he finds happiness with someone else. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 13, 2008 Author Share Posted July 13, 2008 I wish I could be as generous as you! This was my first love and i really feel i got screwed. Sorry, but I believe you are giving him too much credit for your feelings. If they cared about our feelings they would have been truthful and not lead us on. I'm not attacking you, I'm just angry with him and myself. Link to comment
ghostgirl116 Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 hey, i'm so sorry to hear that. my ex did the "no relationship" until he got his life back in order... primarily the job situated. this was in feb. well, we ended up "hooking up" a few weeks back, and then he totally blew me off. this after telling me all that time that he really wanted to be with me when he got his life back in order. man, the stuff we believe when we care for someone. i wouldn't be surprised if mine was back on match (where i met him, and he, too,said that aside from meeting me, it was a failure for him) i'm too scared to look!!! i'm so sorry you're going through this. i know how it sucks. Link to comment
Somerandomguy82 Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 One of my ex's joined a dating site while we were still together. I realized this afterwards, but I blame myself for being in that obsessive "need to know" state of mind you get in when a relationship ends. At the end of the day it was irrelevant and just another thing for me to be upset about. Maybe he joined before the attempt at reconciliation? I'm not sure how that site works. Link to comment
ghostgirl116 Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 holly, you're not in ohio by any chance? maybe we have the same ex! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 13, 2008 Author Share Posted July 13, 2008 Funny!!!!!!!!!!! No, I'm in New York. Link to comment
ghostgirl116 Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 holly, that guy is missing out!! gg Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 13, 2008 Author Share Posted July 13, 2008 Dragon, Funny thing is is that I wasn't on the site looking for him. My girlfriend and I were checking for her benefit. Believe me I'm staying off. I don't understand how people can behave in such a way w/o considering how it will effect those they "care" for. We had a great friendship-so I thought-so how he could continue to string me along doesn't make sense. I guess it's an ego thing for these people. As my friend said today, he's a lying sack of &%$%^. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 13, 2008 Author Share Posted July 13, 2008 Ghost, I'm sorry for your situation, especially after sleeping with him. That's horrible!! Your idiot is mising out too!!! i guess i forgot to mention that I also slept with him the last time we were together. Before it happened he told me that we were working towards a relationship and it was his second priority after the job issue. After the event, he admitted that he would need to think about the relationship for a week-after getting a job-and that his feelings had changed. How nice!!!!!! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 13, 2008 Author Share Posted July 13, 2008 Somer, I'm sorry for your situation as well. It seems he joined after getting a new job. I know he wouldn't be out looking for women if he weren't employed. I was the fool that stuck around while he was unemployed-had a great severence package package though. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 13, 2008 Author Share Posted July 13, 2008 What do you mean by changing my mind? I agree, forget and move on. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 You might be a little easier on him. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 13, 2008 Author Share Posted July 13, 2008 Dragon, I don't understand? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.