Desire

[TrinaF]

How to bring up the desire to have rougher sex with vanilla boyfriend? Guys would it be awkward or a turn off if your girl brought up the idea for rougher sex? Just the plain old missionary stuff is boring the hell out of me LOL maybe i am selfish? Love to hear your ideas!

[BeStrongBeHappy]

I'd suggest renting some DVDs with that it in and watching it with him... see if he gets turned on by it, then suggest you try it together.

[itsallgrand]

I've never been in that situation.

 

But I'd probably just initiate something rougher and see how he reacts.

 

Might incorporate some talking dirty about it while having the more traditional make out session and get feedback that way too. Start off slow and with the lesser intimidating and rough and see what sort of responses he throws back.

 

If you could play off one of his ideas that you know he has for a start, that's always a good opener.

 

Ha, just be prepared for some equally amazing fantasies on his end and show by way of your behavior and receptiveness how you'd like your fantasies to be received. Even if he isn't up for it or like it, so long as you both are good at being open to hearing it there will be no harm done.

[Loki71]

I agree with itsallgrand ease into it. If you just start shouting out stuff it could shock him. Talk about things and see what he says.

[Roasted Carrots]

Start out in small ways, like holding his hands above his head while (horizontally) on top of him making out. Or (gently) bite his lip, nibble on his neck, etc.

 

BeStrong has a good idea, watching DVD's together. Then mention how worked up you got over the spanking scene and see his reaction.

 

Be patient, and make it an open dialouge!

[Nixee]

I've been in this situation before actually, so I feel your pain, right down to your exact words. To me he was vanilla.... secretly, I felt I wanted everything else!

 

My advice is to just be honest with him and talk about it. Maybe it is hard to bring up, but if you can't talk about your sex life... well, you are going to have to learn, and it is going to make things better.

 

With my vanilla b/f, we never talked about it until we were breaking up and it was too late. Turns out, I think he would have been easily open to changing and trying new things, but I chose lack of communication instead, probably because I just didn't love him enough.